


The Perfect Jutsu

by serpentguy



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu | Shadow Clone Technique, Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Realistic Development, Relationships to be Revealed, Strong Uzumaki Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-04 08:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 66,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4131618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serpentguy/pseuds/serpentguy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Shadow Clone Jutsu had always been incomplete. It was meant to be the most unstoppable technique, but it had never been perfected. At least, that was until Naruto Uzumaki accidentally did something that should have been impossible...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Secret History of the Shadow Clones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated M for violence, mature themes and future lemons.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

_Years ago…_

Tobirama Senju was not an emotional man. He was stoic, pragmatic and composed even in the worst situations. He had fought battles against immense odds without a hint of fear or hesitation, and he had walked over the bodies of his comrades to victory. His attitude was, in many ways, the pinnacle of what a ninja's should be.

That said, he couldn't help but feel just a hint of sadness as his quill darted over the parchment, illustrating complex seals with a smooth and steady hand.

"Another failure…" he muttered under his breath, staring down at his Scroll of Seals. This jutsu had been so promising as well.

"Cheer up, brother!" His brother, Hashirama Senju, shouted loudly, walking into the tent. "Today is a good day! Don't be so gloomy!"

Tobirama scowled. For all they were nearly inseparable, there were times that Tobirama became more than a bit annoyed at his elder sibling. Hashirama was everything that Tobirama wasn't; loud, brash, emotional and reckless. Although he would never admit it, it still stung slightly that Hashirama was also one of the most powerful ninja to ever walk the earth.

"You're in a good mood," Tobirama muttered, slightly bitterly, not looking up from his scroll. "Whose _wife_ did you do this time?"

Hashirama just laughed, dropping down onto a chair in the tent. " _Oh_ , you are in a bad mood!" He chuckled. The First Hokage was absolutely shameless about his frequent… extra-matrimonial activities. "Nothing so crude! I just spoke with the builders and guess what? I've finally commissioned that monument!"

Tobirama turned to stare in disbelief. "Are you serious?" He muttered, wondering if his brother could really be so vain. "You mean you're _actually_ going built a fifty foot monstrosity of your own face overlooking the entire town?"

"It'll be good!"

"It's pure narcissism!" Tobarima objected. "We've been working for years to establish Konohagakure as a military force, and you want a giant statue of yourself!"

Hashirama pouted. "Don't be like that! You could get your own face up their too, someday!"

Tobarima scoffed, turning his attention back to his scroll. "I'd rather die than let that happen…" he muttered under his breath.

The Hokage just grinned. Annoying his little brother was such fun. "So, what's got you in a bad mood, then?" He asked curiously. "Another problem with that jutsu?"

"Another failure," Tobarima muttered despondently. "The clone jutsu I was working on is a failure."

The Hokage looked at his brother curiously. For all Hashirama was the God of Shinobi; a ninja of such power that he could make the world tremble, Tobarima was a prodigy. Hashirama's Kekkei Genkai meant that he very rarely had to work for anything, but Tobarima studied the art of chakra, seals and jutsu like a science. Tobarima was the inventor of a thousand different jutsus, and he knew more about the workings of chakra than any man alive.

Curiously, Hashirama inspected the seals written on Tobarima's scroll. The bits that he could understand were impressive. "' _Shadow Clone Jutsu_ '…" He read slowly, frowning as he inspected the seals. "Oh, that looks _good_. You and I have very different definitions of failure, brother."

"This is nothing," Tobarima shrugged. "Useful enough, sure, but not what I was intending. It'll have to go in the scroll with all the other failures."

"Hmph, even if you're not happy with them, some of those jutsus are really dangerous," Hashirama commented. The Scroll of Seals was huge, but Tobarima was only halfway through filling it up. "I mean, Eight Trigrams Sealing? _Impure World Reincarnation_? That stuff is dangerous. I'm going to have to lock it up if you invent anymore forbidden jutsu."

Tobarima nodded distractedly, staring at the intricate markings and seals of the Shadow Clone Jutsu. Even in its incomplete form, it was a jutsu that could change the world, but that didn't stop it from being a failure. For a moment there, Tobarima had really thought that he had finally achieved his ultimate jutsu.

"No…" He muttered quietly, closing up the seal quietly. "The Shadow Clone Jutsu is still only half-complete."

"Then what's the other half?"

Tobarima smiled softly. "That's the problem," he admitted. "I don't know."

* * *

_Now…_

Naruto could feel his body trembling. He had never felt like this before. His mind was a storm of emotions and doubts, even as he hid behind the tree, clutching the Scroll of Seals tighter than ever before.

Everything had gone so wrong so quickly. All he wanted to do was graduate, but now Naruto had been framed for treason, hunted by the village, and his teacher was trying to kill him while his other teacher would die trying to protect him.

_And I'm the Demon Fox_ … He thought with quiet dread. _The Nine-Tails_ …

Behind him, Iruka faced off with Mizuki, the traitor. Iruka was bleeding heavily and on the ground, while Mizuka stood over him with a large shuriken. The only thing that stopped Naruto from breaking down completely was the sound of Iruka's voice, quiet and firm even as he faced death.

"…I've acknowledged him as…" Iruka muttered quietly, with words so heartfelt that they hit Naruto down to the bone. "…one of my excellent students!"

The statement hung in the air. For so long, all Naruto ever wanted was to be acknowledged. The quiet declaration was enough to cause his body to freeze. "He may not be the hardest worker," Iruka continued, with a small, gentle smile. "And he is clumsy and no one accepts him. He already knows what it is to feel pain inside your heart. He isn't the Demon Fox. He is a member of the Hidden Leaf village."

There were tears falling down Naruto's cheeks. His body felt numb. "He is Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto had never imagined that such a simple statement could take his breath away. Slowly, he stopped trembling, and his hands clenched into fists.

Mizuki just grunted, staring at Iruka angrily. "Well… whatever…" he said dismissively, spinning the shuriken nimbly around his fingers. "I said I would take care of you later, but I changed my mind!"

His body tightened as he prepared for the killing strike. Mizuki smirked while Iruka just watched, too injured to move. "Hurry up and die!" He roared, spinning his arm in a furious arc.

Time seemed to stop. Mizuki's screaming face. Iruka's gentle smile. All Naruto knew was that he couldn't let Iruka die. He could never let Iruka die.

Naruto's limbs moved by themselves. By the time his mind managed to catch up, he was already jumping through the air, slamming his knee into Mizuki's face. That moment when his leg collided with bone was the most exhilarating, terrifying and glorious of his life.

Iruka's eyes widened in shock. Mizuki went flying to the ground. The shuriken scattered to the floor and Naruto was glaring furiously as he faced off against the traitor to _his_ village.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Mizuki roared, recovering quickly.

The academy students eyes were cold. "Don't touch Iruka-sensei!" He muttered with quiet dread. "I'll kill you!"

"You idiot! Why did you come out?!" Iruka screamed in panic. Iruka cared for him. Iruka _cared_ for him. The thought was enough to make Naruto stronger than ever. "Run away!"

Mizuki was laughing. Naruto's blood was boiling. He could barely see through all the rage. "I'll kill you in one shot!"

"Try it trash!" Naruto growled, dropping into a fighting stance as he formed the hand seal. It was now or never. "I'll return the pain a thousand times over!"

"Come on, Demon Fox!" Mizuki roared, charging towards him.

Naruto took a deep breath, focused every ounce of chakra he had and screamed at the top of his lungs. " _ **Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!**_ "

The air pulsed with immense power. It was so much chakra that every sensor-type in the village shuddered. Naruto felt the power drain from him, so concentrated that the air distorted with the power. Mizuki stared at him with shock while the strain nearly took Naruto to his knees.

And then, with a terrifying silence, absolutely nothing happened.

Naruto was panting, glancing around at the empty forest in shock. "No…" He muttered with dread. "It was meant to work…"

After a moment's pause, Mizuki started to laugh again. A cold snide laugh that sent tremors down Naruto's spine. Naruto could barely breathe with the terror that filled his body.

"What a fool!" Mizuki mocked, glaring down at Naruto snidely. "As if someone like _you_ could ever perform the Shadow Clone Jutsu."

Naruto's arms were shaking. He had practised so hard to be able to master that one technique. It didn't work. Iruka stared at his apprentice with shock, feeling the emotion pouring out of the boy. "Naruto…" Iruka muttered breathlessly.

"Do you see, Iruka?" Mizuki taunted cruelly, drawing another shuriken. "He's nothing more than failure. _Dead last_. This… demon…" Mizuki spat the word. "… will never be a ninja!"

"Shut up…" Naruto whimpered quietly, hands trembling.

Mizuki just smirked. "He's _pathetic_."

Naruto glared at him with unrestrained ferorcity. "I said, _shut up!_ " He screamed furiously. Suddenly, the boy's face contorted into an animalistic snarl. " _You will never insult me again!_ "

_More power_ , Naruto thought desperately as he raised the hand seals again. _I need more power_ …

He was exhausted, but he pulled out more chakra than he had ever known before. The air started to glow intense blue. " _Shadow Clone Jutsu!_ " He roared, even as he felt his chakra dissipated into nothing. Naruto's fists tightened as he redoubled his efforts.

" _Shadow Clone Jutsu!_ " Naruto bellowed, feeling the exertion tear his muscles apart. The air was sparking and crackling with power, but it didn't take any shape.

Mizuki was laughing. The teacher was clutching at his stomach in laughter at Naruto's useless efforts. Naruto's fists clenched so tight his fingers drew blood.

" _SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!_ " Naruto bellowed, and the burst of chakra was enough to crack the ground and set the trees alight.

Iruka could only stare at his student in shock. He had felt so much raw chakra before. It was unrestrained and wild, but so intense that it was causing his body to tremble. He had never imagined that his student could have _this_ much power. "Naruto…!" He muttered in awe.

" _SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!_ " Naruto screamed once more, and that blue chakra started to turn red. Iruka could only stare breathlessly.

_But it was useless_ , Iruka realised slowly. Naruto was outputting enough power to make a thousand, ten thousand shadow clones, but his control was absolutely terrible. He was just pumping chakra into the atmosphere, rather than giving any shape. He would never perform the jutsu like that. He needed more than just brute strength.

_Naruto is going to kill himself_ , Iruka thought in shock. _If he keeps on burning through chakra like this, he's going to die_. There was a reason why the shadow clone jutsu was a forbidden technique…

Suddenly, the memory of that moment in the classroom flickered in front of Iruka's eyes, where Naruto tried so desperately to perform a simple clone technique. Iruka had failed him for his efforts. _Did he really care so much about becoming a ninja?_

"… Naruto…" Iruka muttered, his eyes swelling with tears.

The boy was sagging now, struggling to stand even as his eyes burned with furious determination. Naruto gathered every last residue of chakra, every scrap of willpower, every residue of strength that he had left and he screeched so loud that birds erupted out of the trees from miles away.

" _ **SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!**_ "

Just for a second, Naruto's chakra turned pitch black.

And then, suddenly, there was silence. Naruto blinked repeatedly, before collapsing to his knees. As he turned, he saw another figure hit the ground next to him. Naruto was staring at an exact duplicate of himself; messy blond hair, whiskers on his cheek, bright orange jumpsuit. The single clone was pale, sickly and weak.

_All of that effort_ … Naruto thought as his vision blurred, _and I only managed to make_ one _clone_ …

" _Wow_ , will you look at that? You actually did it." Mizuki stood over him as he looked between Naruto and his clone, both of them lying weakly on the ground. Even despite his fading consciousness, Naruto could hear Mizuki's sarcastic voice crystal clear.

"You must be _so_ proud," Mizuki mocked coldly, spinning his shuriken around his fingers.

That was the last thing Naruto remembered before Mizuki threw his shuriken straight downwards. With a sickening crunch, the metal edge crushed through Naruto's skull and he fell limply to the ground.

* * *

_No. This can't be happening_.

Iruka's eyes were seeing everything, but his brain refused to accept it. Everything just shut down as his eyes widened in horror. It was impossible. It didn't happen. This was a nightmare.

But as much as he tried to deny it, Iruka was looking straight at the limp body of Naruto, lying on the ground with a shuriken embedded through his skull. Iruka tried to scream, he tried to wail, he tried fight, but suddenly the chunin was twelve years old again, watching his parents die.

Somehow, it hurt even worse this time around.

Mizuki was grinning. He was grinning even as he stepped over Naruto's motionless body. "Your turn, _sensei_ ," he said viciously, drawing a kunai from his pouch.

Iruka felt his hands tremble. His breathing was forced. All he could do was stare at Mizuki, just as all of that grief, rage and pain exploding inside of him.

"You bastard!" Iruka roared furiously, charging madly at Mizuki. There was no composure left, no restraint. He didn't even attack as a ninja, there was no skill or training involved, but instead Iruka just charged blindly at Mizuki, desperate to drag him to the ground. Mizuki sidestepped with ease, scoffing dismissively as he punched Iruka to the ground. Iruka was so injured that he went down easily.

"Just die already!" Mizuki snapped, bringing the kunai down into Iruka's chest. Between his injuries, his exhaustion and his grief, Iruka couldn't even find the strength to flinch.

_I'm so sorry, Naruto_ …

And then, in an instant, there was an orange blur between them, catching Mizuki off-guard as a fist slammed into his face. Iruka's eyes widened in shock.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto shouted. His voice sounded strained and weak. "Are you alright?"

"Naruto?" Iruka murmured dumbly, staring at the boy standing in front of him. _No_ , Iruka realised, _this wasn't Naruto – this is the clone Naruto managed to create_. A solid Shadow Clone. But that meant…

In an instant, Iruka turned to gasp at the motionless body of the real Naruto. Naruto was completely still, with the shuriken in his head, and bleeding so heavily that his hair was stained red, but the realisation hit Iruka like a truck. _If the clone hadn't disappeared, then the real Naruto must still be alive!_

Iruka's head spun. Naruto needed medical attention quickly. Mizuki was in the way. Iruka had only one chance to save his student.

"Bastard!" Mizuki screamed, clutching at his bloody nose. Iruka was far too injured to win in a fair fight, but ninjas don't fight fair.

With a scream of desperation, Iruka launched himself at Mizuki. The traitor responded quickly by throwing his kunai into Iruka's stomach, but the chunin took the blow and kept on going. Mizuki never even had time to scream shout just as Iruka ripped the blade out of his own stomach and used it to slash Mizuki's throat open.

Blood splattered everywhere. Iruka screamed in primal rage, stabbing Mizuki repeatedly just to make sure he was dead. Iruka was losing too much blood, but the adrenaline pushed him forward. _I need to move_ , Iruka thought desperately, letting the traitor's body drop as he turned towards Naruto.

The Naruto-clone looked between Iruka, Mizuki's body and the wounded Naruto. "What's going on?" He asked nervously, voice trembling. "What's happening?"

Iruka could hardly even see straight, but the sight of that shuriken embedded into the back of Naruto's skull made his whole body tremble. Naruto's heart was beating, but it was very faint. The shuriken was in so deep that he dared not pull it out.

A head injury, and a bad one at that. It was enough to make Iruka's blood run cold. Head injuries were a field medic's worst nightmare. Naruto needed proper medical attention right now.

"Come on," Iruka gasped, gingerly lifting Naruto off the ground, while cradling his head carefully. The chunin was so weak he was struggling to stand, but he couldn't afford to collapse yet. "…Hold on, Naruto…" He begged quietly, before erupting through the forest at a breakneck sprint.

Iruka's heart pounded like a drum as he ran, leaping between branches until he saw the fence surrounding the village. He left a trail of blood with every step. The Naruto-clone ran next to him, struggling to keep up but asking a stream of insistent questions. Iruka never bothered to answer them, but he needed to hear Naruto's voice. So long as that clone hadn't dissipated, then Naruto stood a chance.

_He actually managed to produce a Shadow Clone_ , Iruka thought in a near-delirious haze. That was a B-rank technique, at least, yet Naruto created a Shadow Clone as an academy student. A fairly solid Shadow Clone, as well, judging by the clone's apparent intelligence. In any normal circumstances, Iruka would have been so proud of his student.

_Please let me have the chance to graduate him_ , Iruka begged desperately. _Naruto deserves to graduate._

The village zoomed in view. Iruka debated going to the hospital, but the Hokage Tower was closer. He couldn't be sure that the doctors in the hospital wouldn't just let the 'Demon Fox' die, anyways. Around him, the ninjas that had been searching for Naruto yelled at Iruka as he ran passed, but Iruka didn't have the time to stop. He was heading straight for the Hokage. The Third was the only one who could save Naruto now.

"Iruka!" A voice yelled to his right as a man materialised next to him, easily keeping pace with the chunin. Iruka turned to see a jonin with messy white hair, his face mostly hidden under a black mask. The jounin glared at Iruka and the Naruto-clone with a single, attentive eye, before focusing on the bloody Naruto cradled in Iruka's arms. "What happened?"

Iruka was gasping for air so badly that he could hardly talk. Still, he just kept running, even despite the growing blood loss. "…Mizuki… Naruto… Injured…"Iruka panted, his strength fading but his legs were relentless. "… _Hokage_ …"

Quietly, the silver-haired jounin seemed to put the situation together. "Right," he muttered coolly, before disappearing into a blur with the Body-Flicker Technique.

Ten seconds later, as Iruka reached the Hokage Tower, that jounin had already alerted the Anbu, and was there holding the gates open. Iruka never even had time to be surprised at the man's insane speed.

"Hurry up," the jounin said urgently, but with no trace of panic. "The Hokage is waiting."

The Third Hokage, Hiruzen, met them on the stairs, flanked by two Anbu, staring at Naruto's limp body with cold determination. The kindly old man was gone. Iruka almost collapsed from exhaustion as he sprinted up the stairs, but the jounin was there to snatch Naruto's body out of his arms and hold him out for Hiruzen.

There was just a hint of distress flickering across Hiruzen's stern, wrinkled face as he noticed the shuriken embedded deep into Naruto head. "What happened?" He demanded, while checking the boy's pulse and breathing.

"… Mizuki… traitor…" Iruka gasped, struggling to stay conscious. He was already leaving a puddle of blood on the floor.

The Hokage grunted, his attention focused solely on Naruto. "I see," he said simply, clenching his fists. "My office. Now."

The two Anbu took Naruto and carried him with careful haste. Hiruzen followed with surprising speed, already shouting orders for medical supplies. Iruka tried to follow, but his legs refused to go any further. The sliver-haired jounin was there to catch him.

"Naruto…" Iruka gasped weakly.

The jounin's partially visible face was completely impassive. "Bandage yourself up first," he said coolly, before walking away. "The Hokage will take it from here."

"Kakashi!" Hiruzen ordered loudly. "Secure the perimeter! Not a word about this to anyone!"

The silver-haired jounin, Kakashi, nodded. "Yes sir," he said quietly, just as he disappeared in a burst of speed.

Iruka could only watch weakly as the Hokage lay Naruto on his desk and quickly got to work. The Anbu were sent off for bandages, disinfectants and hot water, while Hiruzen quickly used basic medical ninjutsu. His hand glowed green as it hovered around Naruto's skull, assessing the damage expertly. The Hokage was not a medical-nin, but as 'The Professor' he was adept at just about every form of jutsu. Still, his wrinkled face seemed to age several years as he inspected Naruto.

"How is he?" Iruka asked desperately, clutching at his wounds as he staggered through the door.

"Not good," Hiruzen admitted. "There is swelling in his brain and I fear his whole body is shutting down. I must remove the shuriken and reduce the pressure. I need a scalpel and anaesthetic now!"

Quickly, another two Anbu, who Iruka hadn't even realised were present, saluted and disappeared in a flash. Iruka was trembling as he rushed to Naruto's side, holding his hand tightly while Hiruzen twisted Naruto onto his chest.

Suddenly, the Naruto-clone smashed through the door. The atmosphere was frantic, and the clone looked wide-eyed and crazed. "Will someone please tell me what's going on here?" He shouted, staring between at the original version of himself on the table and the Hokage. "Old man, what's happening?"

Hiruzen frowned at the sudden intrusion. "What is this?" He demanded, glaring at the doppelganger.

"Shadow clone," Iruka said simply.

"Hmm…" The Hokage nodded, still looking curiously at the clone. "Then that is a good sign. It means the original body is still providing chakra. There is a chance."

Kakashi reappeared quickly, pushing through the Naruto-clone without a second glance. "Area secured, sir," he said smoothly. The expensive Hokage desk was smeared with blood. All of the paperwork had been shoved to the floor.

"Good," Hiruzen said distractedly, gathering chakra into his hand with expert control. "Let's not cause a panic. Kakashi, you monitor Naruto's breathing and pulse, warn me if it fails."

"Yes sir,"Kakashi agreed, crouching by Naruto's side, next to Iruka. His eye lingered slightly on the seal on Naruto's chest, circling around his bellybutton. "If this boy dies, what happens to the Nine-Tails?"

"Naruto is more than just the Nine-Tails!" Iruka snapped, every nerve on edge.

"Enough! Focus!" Hiruzen ordered firmly, not looking up from his patient as he, very carefully, levered the shuriken out of Naruto's skull. "We will not let him die!"

The Naruto-clone watched in speechless horror as the three men crowded around his other limp body. Blood and brain fluid leaked everywhere, despite the Third's best attempts to seal the wound.

"Bandages!" He ordered, injecting a needle into Naruto's body.

"Here," Kakashi offered quickly. All laziness was gone; the jounin was completely focused on the task at hand. It was a good thing that ninjas generally weren't squeamish. There was a second when Iruka realised he was staring at Naruto's exposed brain, leaking fluids everywhere. Iruka had to go sit down when his hands started shaking too much.

The Naruto-clone just watched in horrific fascination as the Hokage fought to save his life.

"His breathing is faint," Kakashi warned.

"Curse it, there's too much swelling," the Hokage muttered, holding out a hand. "Scalpel."

"Here."

"Disinfectant."

"Here."

"Oh god…" The Naruto-clone choked, looking ready to barf. Iruka was too focused to pay it much attention, but alarm bells started ringing in the back of his mind. _Could Shadow Clones actually puke?_

"Too much damage!" The Hokage exclaimed furiously, the chakra flowing from his hands. His muscles were tensed. "I can't…"

"Should I get more medic-nins?" Kakashi asked urgently.

"Not even Tsunade could help with this…" He groaned with a stream of curses as his chakra tried to knit flesh and bone back together. Brain tissue was infamously hard to heal.

"His pulse is failing!" Kakashi shouted loudly. "He's not breathing."

" _Dammit_!" Hiruzen cursed, visibly strained. "Turn him over, perform CPR!"

"Naruto!" Iruka screamed, stumbling to his feet.

Hiruzen just glared furiously, forming hand seals in rapid succession. Quickly, he generated lightning chakra on his palms and pressed it to Naruto's chest. The boy's body shuddered.

"Nothing," Kakashi warned.

"Adrenaline," he ordered, biting his lip as he gathered lightning again. "I need adrenaline now."

Kakashi produced a syringe and jabbed it into Naruto's sternum. Hiruzen abandoned the lightning, and instead used chakra to try and massage his heart. The minutes dragged on in a frantic, tense silence. Iruka couldn't even breathe with the tension. Hiruzen was sweating madly.

Naruto never moved.

After what felt like a lifetime, Kakashi slowly stopped monitoring his pulse and stood up. Hiruzen never stopped attempting the medical jutsu. Kakashi's voice was so quiet. "Sir…" He whispered gently.

"No!" Hiruzen snapped, his composure visibly cracking. "Not yet!"

Iruka's face was deathly pale. "…No…" He muttered in pure horror.

Another two minutes ticked by in silence. Iruka collapsed to his knees. Hiruzen's hands were trembling, struggling to maintain the chakra.

" _No!_ " He shouted in frustration, panting heavily as his control failed him. The Hokage looked older than ever at that moment.

Slowly, Kakashi took Hiruzen's hands and pulled them away from Naruto. "He's dead, sir."

The room turned deathly quiet. Nobody dared to even breathe. For a few seconds, everything was still.

They were all smart men, but they were also very emotional and very focused on their task, and sometimes even smart men took a long time to realise obvious things. Even when that obvious thing was quite literally standing right in front of them.

The Naruto-clone looked between each of them hesitantly. "Huh…" Naruto announced in a tense, quivering voice. "…That was _so_ weird…"

Everyone froze. They turned to stare at the Naruto standing in the office, and then at the other Naruto lying dead on the desk. Their bottom jaws hit the floor.

* * *

"Can you please tell me what's going on here, old man?" Naruto pleaded nervously, as Hiruzen pulled him into the adjoining room. The normally calm Hokage was visibly shaken. The twelve year old boy couldn't understand what was happening, and he was nearly bouncing around in apprehension. The questions were killing him. "What _was_ that back there? What's up with this Shadow Clone Jutsu? What happened to Mizuki? Just what is that weird guy hiding under his mask–"

"Naruto," Hiruzen said in a firm voice that made Naruto stop talking. The Hokage wasn't strict very often, but when he was everyone knew to listen to him. Still, Hiruzen's voice sounded just a bit… _off_. "Please calm down. I wish to examine you for a moment. Then I will answer your questions."

Naruto gulped. "Alright," he said nervously.

Hiruzen bent down and used medical-jutsu to examine Naruto's body. His skin tingled as the Hokage's glowing hands swept over his body. Hiruzen frowned. Naruto did his best to stay still, but it wasn't easy.

"What is your favourite food?" Hiruzen demanded after a pause.

Naruto frowned. "What?"

"Answer the question." The Hokage's voice left no room for argument.

"Ramen, of course," Naruto said with a frown. "Ramen is awesome."

Hiruzen kept his face calm, but Naruto could see the lines around his eyes tighten. The Hokage then formed the hand seals to dispel genjutsu, examining Naruto critically. Nothing changed.

"What mark did you score on the last Academy exam?" Hiruzen asked eventually.

Naruto's shoulders sagged. "I failed…" he muttered miserably. "Seven percent…"

The Hokage hesitated for a moment. Then, he knelt down next to Naruto and stared at him critically in the eyes, as he took Naruto's hand. "Tell me something," Hiruzen asked finally. "Does this hurt?"

As quick as flash, Hiruzen fingers flashed out with a tiny blade of chakra, sharp enough to cut through Naruto's skin. Naruto flinched, clutching at his hand, but Hiruzen's grip was firm. "Ouch!" Naruto exclaimed. "Of course that hurts!"

Nimbly, the Third Hokage caught and examined a drop of blood trickling out the tiny cut. "Shadow Clones don't bleed…" he muttered, so quietly Naruto could barely hear him.

"Old man, you're freaking me out now…" Naruto muttered nervously. "Seriously, what's going on?"

Hiruzen paused, struggling with some internal dilemma. "Naruto…" he said quietly. "Please wait here. I promise I will be back shortly to answer all of your questions."

With that, the Hokage returned to his office. He paused to order an Anbu to retrieve the Scroll of Seals from the woods, and then he spent most of the next hour critically examining the forbidden scroll in great detail.

* * *

It was nearly dusk by the time Hiruzen was finally able to talk to anybody. He had ordered several jounins to keep a very close eye on Naruto, while he spent most of the time researching everything his mentor, the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju, left behind.

Roughly two hours ago, he had reached a conclusion, but he kept on researching because he really didn't like the conclusion he reached.

Now, though, he had to act, and he summoned both Kakashi and Iruka into his office for a private meeting. Hiruzen was pacing across his office as he waited.

Iruka had been bandaged up and treated, but he was still fidgeting with nerves. He had watched the Anbu take Naruto's corpse out of the office. There were still bloodstains on the carpet. The chunin was a wreck of nerves and doubts.

"What is happening here?" Iruka demanded as soon as he walked through the door. "What happened to Naruto?"

"I'm fairly curious about that myself," Kakashi chimed in. The jounin was already sitting, but his single visible eye was alert. "Shadow Clones should disappear when the original is knocked unconscious. How did that one survive when the original was dead?"

Hiruzen didn't respond straight away. "Please, Iruka," he said in the softest voice possible. It had been a long day for all of them. "Sit down. We need to talk."

Grudgingly, Iruka dropped to the chair in front of the Hokage's desk. Hiruzen sighed, and then took his seat. The old man hesitated.

"Tell me something…" The Hokage said slowly. "Have you ever heard of the concept of the perfect jutsu?"

Iruka frowned. Kakashi's eye narrowed. "Yes," the jounin said carefully. "My mentor talked about it once."

Iruka nodded. "Yes, Minato would know," he mused. "The Flying Thunder God Technique has long been cited as a candidate for title of the 'perfect jutsu'. However, the actual term was coined by the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju, who spent a great deal of time trying to develop the elusive _perfect jutsu_."

Hiruzen paused to light his pipe, taking a deep breath. "Tobirama believed that he could develop a jutsu so flawless; one with no disadvantage, with no equal, and then he could use this jutsu to bring peace to the world. If there was ever a technique that powerful, then one man could effectively render every other jutsu completely obsolete," the Hokage explained carefully. "And Tobirama came fairly close, as well. Of all the hundreds of jutsus that Tobirama created, there are two that potentially deserve the title of the 'perfect jutsu': the infamous Impure World Reincarnation, and the Shadow Clone Technique."

Kakashi frowned. "What?" He muttered. "But _lots_ of people know how to use the Shadow Clone Technique. I can use it. It's a fairly useful, sure, but it's definitely not unbeatable."

"Yes," Hiruzen agreed. "That was because, in Tobirama's eyes, the Shadow Clone Jutsu that he invented was always just a pale imitation of what he wanted to create. You are completely correct; the Shadow Clone Technique has many disadvantages."

He leaned forward is chair, stroking his beard softly. "Shadow Clones are chakra constructs of the original. They may be able to siphon the original's strength, but that is all they can do. They can mimic the original's personality and skills, but they have none of their own. Each shadow generally has very limited intelligence, and they aren't actually _alive_ ," Hiruzen explained. "Shadow Clones are simply _projections_ of the original at a certain point in time. They are essentially empty shadows of the user, hence the technique's name.

"But, originally, Tobirama wanted to create something more. He wanted the ultimate clone technique," Hiruzen said with a distant look in his eyes. "Tobirama failed, but now it seems that, somehow, Naruto Uzumaki has succeeded where the Second Hokage could not."

Iruka looked confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that the Naruto downstairs is not a Shadow Clone," Hiruzen with a sigh. "He is an exact, living, breathing, flesh and blood, clone of Naruto Uzumaki. In other words, Naruto has just discovered the _true_ perfect jutsu."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes:
> 
> Well, this is my first Naruto fanfic. I've been wanting to write one for ages, but this is the only one that I've actually been comfortable with uploading. There are a lot of God-Mode Naruto stories on this site, so I figured that I wanted to do my own version. I wanted a story with a good justification for Naruto becoming really strong. More details about Naruto's new power will be coming next chapter.
> 
> Current release schedule is undecided, though the next chapter should hopefully be coming fairly soon.
> 
> As for pairings? Yes. There most definitely will be... :)
> 
> Reviews and comments are always much appreciated!
> 
> This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net, but I'm moving it over to AO3 as well. I don't want to dump all the chapters at once, so I'll be moving them gradually.


	2. Doomed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I still do not own Naruto.

It was past midnight as Naruto shuffled tiredly up towards the Hokage's office, yawning tiredly and rubbing his eyes. He was still wearing his pyjamas, but the boy had been shook out of bed by the masked Anbu and told simply that the Hokage needed to speak to him. At this time of the night, the village was quiet and asleep, but the light in the Hokage Tower was still on.

Naruto paused to glare angrily at the two Anbu flanking him on both. The masked men were professional to the point that they almost seemed like robots. Naruto was used to the Anbu following him occasionally, but the Hokage had assigned an entire four man squad to look after him for the night.

As Naruto approached the office, he could just hear the sound of indistinct yelling coming from inside. There were people arguing in there. _Something's going on_ , Naruto decided, staring suspiciously at the door, but he just couldn't make sense of it. His head was a turmoil of emotions and doubts that left him physically shattered. All he wanted to do was just collapse onto the floor and sleep.

And he was also exhausted. He had never felt chakra fatigue like this before. He had to eat through all of his emergency ramen stash before he even had the strength to move. His body groaned in protest with every step.

After a few minutes, the Hokage walked out the door and met Naruto and the Anbu stiffly. The old man looked tired.

"Naruto…" He said gently. "Thank you for coming."

"What's happening, old man?" Naruto demanded. "You promised you'd explain everything."

"And I will," Hiruzen nodded, before turning to one of the Anbu. "Captain. Were there any difficulties?"

The Anbu captain saluted sharply. "He tried to run away five times, two of my men were hit by stink bombs, and we had to disarm several traps before we could even enter his apartment."

There was just the faintest hint of accusation in the Anbu's tone. Even despite his tiredness, Hiruzen's eyes shone with humour. "Well then," the Hokage said sternly, glancing down at Naruto. "Thank you, Naruto, for doing your part to ensure that Anbu's finest stay alert. Now, excuse us, captain, please return to your post."

The Anbu disappeared in a flicker of speed. "Old man," Naruto protested. "What was that with the–"

"Not here. Inside my office," Hiruzen ordered. Naruto glared at him and folded his arms stubbornly, and the Hokage's face softened. "Please, Naruto."

Naruto fumed slightly as he walked into the office. The room was still a mess of blood and papers across the floor. There were two people in the room; Iruka was pacing by the bookshelves, while Kakashi was sitting down, but looked visibly agitated. As soon as Hiruzen entered the room, he closed the door firmly and activated the privacy seals.

"Lord Hokage!" Iruka demanded. "So what are we going to –"

"Not now," Hiruzen interrupted, with a pointed glare at Naruto. Naruto remembered the arguing he had heard. "We will save that discussion for another time. For now, Naruto, I need your help."

"My help?" Naruto repeated, looking towards Iruka questioningly. "Iruka-sensei, what's going on here?"

"It's alright, Naruto," Iruka soothed. "We just need to sort a few things out first."

"I will answer your questions," Hiruzen promised. "But first, you need answer something for me."

"What?"

The Hokage took a seat, picking up his pipe and taking a large breath. "Naruto, when you were in the woods with Mizuki, and you performed that clone jutsu," Hiruzen asked carefully. "Do you think you could do it again?"

Naruto hesitated. The memory of that tense moment, that fear, and that weird black chakra was so intense it hurt. "You mean the Shadow Clone Technique?"

"Yes," Iruka said quickly, glancing at Hiruzen fleetingly. "If you can do that again, then you can graduate."

Graduate. That word caused Naruto's face to light up. It was the whole reason he stole the scroll in the first place. "Alright," Naruto said with a big smile. "I remember how I did it."

He took a deep breath as he raised his hands into the pose, moving through the seals carefully. The room was quiet as they watched him crudely mould chakra with horrible precision. Discreetly, Kakashi slowly levered up the headband covering his other eye, burning Naruto's every movement of into his memory.

"Ok…"Naruto panted, trying to recall how the technique had felt when he used it at last time. His chakra was bubbling, but it was easier second time around. "…Here goes…"

" _ **Shadow Clone Jutsu!**_ "

It was lucky that Hiruzen's office was sealed to conceal chakra, otherwise the sudden outburst would have caused alarm. Still, the explosion of raw chakra took them all off-guard, while Naruto groaned as he continued to force the power out of him. His chakra swirled around him like a blue cloak, while Naruto's eyes bulged under the strain.

Then, with a grunt of exertion, Naruto's chakra turned pitch black. Hiruzen dropped his pipe in surprise, even as the chakra suddenly churned and took shape. It materialised into a single figure standing next to him, appearing with a blur of energy as all that chakra solidified.

"Fascinating…" Hiruzen mumbled quietly, eyes unblinking. In an instant, there were two identical Narutos standing in the centre of the room.

Naruto blinked, shoulders sagging as he turned to face his doppelganger and smiled widely. "I did it!" Both Naruto and the Naruto-clone shouted happily, before high-fiving each over. Then, they both shuddered and collapsed with a groan of pain.

"Naruto!" Iruka shouted in alarm, rushing to catch his student before hesitating as he realised he didn't know which one to catch.

Both Narutos were pale and sweaty, struggling to stand. Hiruzen was there quickly, propping them up against the chair as he checked the temperature of the first one.

"Extreme chakra exhaustion," the Third Hokage decided, in a low mumble. "Nasty, but not life-threatening. Remain calm, Naruto."

Hiruzen's hands glowed with energy as he pressed his palm to Naruto's chest, expertly healing the student's burnt out chakra coils. Quickly, Naruto began to stir, while the other Naruto was still mumbling weakly. Iruka took the opportunity to poke the clone curiously.

"Urgh… sorry, it's still not perfect…" Naruto mumbled, pulling himself up slowly. He looked between his fatigued clone and Iruka awkwardly. "But, I did it, right? That's a Shadow Clone, yeah? So I graduate then?"

No one replied. Slowly, Hiruzen bent down to inspect the clone. The other Naruto was mumbling slightly, eyes unfocused and weak, but he was definitely alive. The Hokage stared at the clone for a long time. "Naruto…" he asked finally. "Could you do me a favour? Could you please turn around and look at the wall?"

Naruto frowned confusedly, but he turned hundred and eighty degrees to face the wall anyways. "Why?"

Hiruzen slowly extended three fingers in front of the face of the Naruto-clone, all the while staring intently at the standing Naruto. "Naruto, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Huh?" Naruto mumbled bewilderedly. "Three, of course."

He never turned around. Nobody else in the room spoke. "Naruto…" Hiruzen asked very carefully. "How did you know that?"

Naruto turned to stare at him as if were the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, I can see you, obviously–" He started before realising what he saying. Naruto blinked repeatedly. The clone started to stir, frowning as he looked up at Hiruzen.

"Oh, _that's_ weird…" Naruto muttered quietly, realisation dawning. Both clones turned to stare at each other carefully, frowning as they looked into each other's eyes and saw reflections. "I can see out of his eyes. Wow, this is _so_ freaky…"

"Tell me about it," the other Naruto agreed, tilting his head as they looked at each other. The two Narutos mimicked each other's motions perfectly.

"Indeed," Hiruzen mumbled quietly, before pausing in thought. Then, the old man's hand shot out, flicking the closest Naruto on the forehead with a dull snap.

Both Narutos flinched. "Ow!" The both exclaimed at the same time, hands going up to their forehead. "What was that for?!"

It took one Naruto a few seconds to realise that _his_ forehead didn't actually hurt. " _Oh_ …" he muttered slowly, staring at his hand in realisation. The two clones looked at each in realisation.

Everyone was staring at him in speechless silence. "How is this is possible?" Iruka asked breathlessly, glancing at the Hokage.

"Two bodies, two minds, but only a _single_ consciousness," Hiruzen mumbled quietly, deep in thought. "Thoughts and feelings are transferred freely between both hosts."

It took a while for Iruka to realise the consequences of that statement. "So any pain is transferred…?"

"Yes, pain is transferred. However, the physical injury is not," Hiruzen said quietly, eyes focused solely on the Narutos. He hesitated for half a second. "Naruto, do you remember that injury Mizuki gave you?"

In an instant, the bright smile disappeared with memory. "Umm…" Naruto muttered uncomfortably, scratching at the back of his head instinctively. "…Yeah, I remember… I mean, I was pretty out of it at the time, but…"

His voice trailed off into an indistinct mumble. Hiruzen was looking at him quickly. "What did it feel like to die?" He asked in a quiet voice.

Narutos' eyes dropped to the floor, shifting his feet awkwardly. "… It didn't actually _hurt_ …" He mumbled, trying to find the words to describe that surreal experience. "… I mean, it wasn't nice, but… Well, it was just really strange…"

Nobody spoke. Hiruzen turned to look between Kakashi and Iruka, a silent conversation passing between them.

"Naruto," Iruka said quietly, taking Naruto's hand gently. "I need to talk to the Hokage for a bit. Would you mind waiting outside?"

"Does this mean I've graduated?" Naruto said eagerly.

Iruka nodded. "Yes, you've graduated," Iruka paused and then took off his head protector, handing it Naruto gingerly. "I will see you at the Academy tomorrow."

Naruto stared at the head protector in awe, a huge grin splitting his face. The other Naruto jumped for joy, and they both laughed happily. "Yes!" He shouted, looking around the room cheerfully. Hiruzen smiled softly. Both Narutos hesitated, before nodded eagerly and running out of the room.

Kakashi closed the door behind him. "Well then…" Hiruzen muttered after a pause, making sure that the Narutos had left. "That answers many of our questions. Multiples bodies, but a shared consciousness."

"So when Mizuki killed the original Naruto…?" Iruka asked with a knot in his stomach.

Hiruzen shook his head, smoking on his pipe as he thought. "That is the beauty of this clone technique; any distinction between the original and the clones becomes meaningless. They are both simply Naruto," Hiruzen explained. "Two bodies, _one_ person. Mizuki might have killed one body, yet Naruto's soul was still bound to the mortal coil by his second body. When one body died, his conscious simply transferred to its remaining host. So no; Naruto didn't die, and there are now two Narutos standing outside this room. Both of them are Naruto in every sense of the word."

"What about the Nine-Tails?" Kakashi asked quietly. "Is it still sealed even after the body died?"

"The Nine-Tails is a being of pure chakra. It does not have a physical form, per se," Hiruzen mused. "And the Eight Trigrams Seal bound the demon to Naruto's spirit, not to his body specifically. Naruto's spirit remains intact, and so the seals remains intact. Naruto is still the container of the Nine-Tails, regardless of how many pieces that container has been split into. Remarkable…"

The room was quiet as they digested the information. Hiruzen took continuous breaths of his pipe. "How did this happen?" The jounin asked after a moment's silence.

"I'm not sure," Hiruzen admitted, sitting down back at his desk. "A combination of raw power, determination, emotion, a fairly unique heritage, all amplified by the presence of the Nine-Tails, perhaps? Beginner's luck? You'd be amazed at the number of impossible things that have been achieved by novices with no understanding of why they should be impossible."

Hiruzen quite deliberately didn't mention that black chakra. He had his theories, but they weren't very nice ones. He would have to investigate more, but it would do no good to say them now.

Iruka frowned, still processing the Hokage's words. "Wait, unique heritage? Naruto's an orphan."

The Third Hokage sighed. "Yes, but his parents…" he hesitated. "… the Uzumaki have always been characterised by a natural vitality and large chakra reserves. Naruto is a direct descendent of the first clan of the Whirlpool Village."

Kakashi looked at the Hokage curiously. "I thought that all the main clan were all killed in the world war," he noted. "I just assumed that Naruto was from some distant branch family that kept the surname."

"Most of the Uzumakis were," Hiruzen admitted. "The survivors were scattered across the globe. Precious few of the main line survived, but…" He paused. "… but there was _one_ Uzumaki that was living in Konoha at the time Uzushiogakure fell."

Kakashi looked confused. Hiruzen hesitated. "Naruto's parents…" Hiruzen explained carefully. "… _Both_ died the night the Nine-Tails attacked."

After a few seconds, understanding clicked. Iruka never got it, but Hiruzen saw the realisation flicker in Kakashi's eye. The jounin glared at the Hokage, putting the pieces together silently.

"Oh, you _bastard_ …" Kakashi cursed angrily, hands tightening into fists.

"I don't understand." Iruka looked between the two men uncertainly. "Who were Naruto's parents?"

"Naruto's parents…" Kakashi said in quiet outrage, before Hiruzen could respond. "… Are Minato Namikaze and his wife, Kushina Uzumaki. That makes _me_ his bloody godfather, doesn't it?!"

Iruka's mouth dropped open. Hiruzen just nodded. "Yes," he replied quietly. "Both you and Jiraiya were named as Naruto's godparents."

"Does Jiraiya know about him?" Kakashi demanded.

Hiruzen shook his head. "Oh, _you bastard_!" Kakashi repeated furiously, glaring at Hiruzen angrily. " _You_ said the child died with Kushina!"

"I lied. Kushina survived long enough for Minato to seal the Nine-Tails inside of Naruto," Hiruzen admitted.

"Wait, Naruto is the son of the _Fourth Hokage_?!" Iruka exclaimed, gaping at the revelation. "But… But…"

"That information will not leave this room," Hiruzen warned darkly, his eyes flashing. "Naruto's parentage is an S Class secret and it will be preserved."

Kakashi looked uncharacteristically furious. Iruka's mind was still reeling. "Yet Naruto was raised as an orphan!" Iruka exclaimed. "If he's the Fourth's son, then he has a clan! Hell, he has an estate! He… He should be a–"

Hiruzen raised his eyebrow. "–A _hero_?" He said coldly, the implication clear.

Iruka gulped. There had been a time not long ago when Iruka had been one of the ones staring at Naruto with cold, dead eyes. "You should have told me," Kakashi growled. "You left my godson to be raised alone, _I_ would been there for him. Jiraiya would have been there."

"I never _denied_ his parentage," Hiruzen said in a forcefully calm voice. "It's not like I changed his name or gave him a new identity. I simply quietly enrolled him in the orphanage and distracted everyone with the announcement of Minato's and Kushina's death. You're a smart man, Kakashi. If you had cared to pay attention you would have realised who Naruto was fairly quickly, but let's be honest – twelve years ago you were in no state to look after a child."

Kakashi's eye narrowed, clutching the chair tightly. "You should have told–"

"What? Told the world that he was Naruto Namikaze?" Hiruzen snorted. "In Konoha, Minato is considered a hero, but in every other nation he is 'Minato the Butcher', the man who singlehandedly slaughtered countless troops on the battlefield. The Elemental Nations has a long memory. Even today, there are so many who would gladly murder a child as a final revenge against the Namikaze line."

The Third's expression was solid stone. "I made a _choice_ , Kakashi," Hiruzen said sternly. "It wasn't a nice choice, but I made it anyways. I ensured that Naruto grew up safe and sound in the most normal environment I could provide. I ensured that he was well-fed and cared for, and I tried to honour Minato's legacy in the best way that I could."

"And you ensured that he grew up alone and isolated," Iruka added in a voice so quiet it was barely audible. The Third heard it anyways.

"Alas, not even I can force people to be friendly. Nor can I change the perception of the public," Hiruzen replied coolly. "I did the _best_ that I could. And I would do it again. We will not talk anymore on the subject."

Kakashi looked like he wanted to protest, but he bit his tongue. After a pause, Kakashi asked in a quieter voice. "Just tell me this," the jounin muttered. "What happened to Naruto's inheritance?"

Hiruzen's eyes softened. "All of Minato's and Kushina's belongings have been carefully sealed and placed in storage. I kept it very discreet, very well hidden, but it's all been preserved. I intend to present Naruto with it when he comes of age."

Kakashi nodded in disgruntled silence, but seemed to settle done. Hiruzen sighed, filing the matter away for another time. "Now then, we must discuss the more pressing matter of Naruto's new clone technique," he said quietly, returning to the topic at hand. "It is… troubling…"

Iruka frowned. "Could anyone use this jutsu?"

"No," Kakashi replied quickly, shaking his head. "I copied Naruto's movements with my Sharingan. His hand seals were meaningless and his chakra was all over the place. It was a mess. He must have read the scroll back to front or something. I don't understand how he managed to achieve anything at all."

"Raw determination," Hiruzen mused. He was called the 'Professor' for a reason; his knowledge of the fundamental principles of jutsu exceeded every other man alive. "Hand seals allow the user to focus chakra into predefined structures to perform jutsu, but they aren't necessarily essential for all techniques. Perhaps if Naruto, through pure strength of will, managed to unlock an innate affinity for cloning, and the forcefully created a doppelganger's body. If the proto-clone was stable enough, then his own Uzumaki vitality would fill up the empty shell. I suspect that the advanced regeneration granted by the Nine-Tails also had a large part to play. In essence, this clone technique is something that only he can use."

"Oh," Iruka nodded dumbly. "So then it's basically a Kekkei Genkai?" He looked the Hiruzen and Kakashi curiously. "Well, that's not a problem, is it? I mean, bloodlines are really valuable to the village. And it's not really that powerful–"

"Naruto has effectively just became immortal," Hiruzen interrupted suddenly.

Iruka blinked. "I'm sorry," he said stupidly. " _What?!_ "

"By continually generating new clones as his body ages, Naruto could quite conceivably live forever," the Hokage said simply. "As well as that, so long as even one clone survives, no matter where it is in the world, then Naruto cannot be killed."

The statement caused Iruka's head to spin. "Ok," he nodded slowly. "That's a bit more of a problem…"

Hiruzen shook his head solemnly. "Oh, if only that was the only issue. You do not understand the severity of this particular technique," He said quietly. "In normal Shadow Clone Jutsu, the user splits his chakra to form a clone; there are two bodies, but the power of each one is halved. With Naruto's technique, the opposite is true."

The Third's gaze was grim. "Each time Naruto uses his technique, his strength is effectively _doubled_."

"What…?" Iruka murmured in confusion.

"Allow me to use an example," Hiruzen explained. "His technique requires a massive amount of chakra. He cannot use it frequently, and he is left fatigued after each use. Let us assume he can perform it only once every twenty-four hours. Naruto uses the technique once, he forms a clone, and then he is left weakened for a period.

"However," Hiruzen continued. " _The_ clone also has a fully functioning body and working chakra coils. Remember that all clones are completely identical to the original. The clones don't require chakra, they _provide_ it. Both clones will then generate and recuperate chakra and, thus, the total chakra pool has been doubled."

"Oh," Iruka said dumbly, mind reeling as he considered the significance of that statement. The dread came slowly.

"Twenty-four hours after that, then…" Hiruzen continued slowly. "… _both_ Narutos will be capable of using the technique again, producing another two. As a whole, he is now four times more powerful. The day after that, _eight_. The day after that, _sixteen_. And this is the really frightening thing about this ability, because, as far as I can tell, there _is_ _absolutely no limit to the number of times he can use it_."

Kakashi's eye widened in shock. "But that's…"

"That is why I called it a ' _perfect jutsu_ '," Hiruzen explained darkly. "I do not use those words lightly. In a week, there could be up to a hundred and twenty eight Narutos. Within a month, he could potentially outnumber everyone in the Elemental Nations several hundred times over."

The image of millions of orange jumpsuit clad, hyperactive ninjas burned through Kakashi's mind. "We're all doomed," Kakashi said with a gulp.

Iruka shuddered. "The ramen industry will collapse," he muttered under his breath. "But are you really worried about a… a… an _invasion of Narutos_?"

"No," Hiruzen replied coolly. "I'm worried about how Iwa will react when they learn that Minato Namikaze's son has achieved the perfect jutsu and could, quite literally, form a one-man army and march upon them."

Kakashi winced. "Ok, that wouldn't be good," he admitted. "Iwa would form a lynch mob if that news got out…"

"And Iwa isn't the only one," Hiruzen agreed. "Power makes you a target. There is a very long list of people that would want Naruto's ability for themselves."

 _And at very top of that list_ , Hiruzen thought silently, _Orochimaru_. His former student had inherited the Second's lust for knowledge but none of his morality. Orochimaru had been striving to achieve the perfect jutsu for years. If the traitorous Sannin ever found about Naruto…

Hiruzen shivered at the thought. The memory of that room full of dissected corpses still haunted his dreams. Yes, Orochimaru would be dangerous. If discovered, Orochimaru would stop at nothing to get Naruto's power. The Sannin would capture Naruto, dissect him, and cut the child to pieces to try and reproduce that cloning technique.

 _Perhaps he may even do worse_ , Hiruzen thought darkly. If the whispers were true, then Orochimaru might have already mastered a forbidden body possession jutsu…

That was where Hirzen's worst nightmares really began. With Naruto's power in Orochimaru's hands, then the world would face an unstoppable _army_ , each one just as crazed, cunning and dangerous as the original. Oh, that would be a dream come true for Orochimaru; to be able to split himself up into a thousand clones, and then he may very well achieve his ambition of mastering every jutsu in the world. The thought of what Orochimaru would do with that sort of power made Hiruzen's skin crawl.

 _No_ , Hiruzen decided coldly, _I will die before I let that monster get his hands on Naruto_.

"So what now then?" Iruka asked uncertainly, shaking the Hokage out of his unhappy daydreams. "What are we going to tell Naruto?"

"I don't know," Hiruzen admitted after a pause. He hesitated. "Although I am seriously considering sealing Naruto's chakra so that no will ever use that technique again."

Iruka's eyes widened in alarm. "You can't! If you seal his chakra then…"

"Then he will never be a ninja," Hiruzen nodded silently. "He will despise me for the rest of his life, I will be crushing his only ambition, but, maybe, the world will be better off without this Perfect Clone Technique in it. A technique like that could cause _so_ much grief." _If that's what it takes to make sure Orochimaru never gets that ability_ , Hiruzen added silently.

"But it might also bring peace," Kakashi added. "Isn't that what the Second believed?"

"True," Hiruzen conceded. "…Hence my dilemma."

Iruka's foot tapped nervously against the ground. "You can't punish someone for something that they _might_ do," he said after a while.

"No? Even when that person _might_ , conceivably, destroy the world?" Hiruzen retorted. "The whole concept of the perfect jutsu is one which is shrouded in controversy. If it were to become a reality, it might very well start a war."

"When Minato invented his Flying Thunder God Technique, you didn't punish him for it," Kakashi interjected, his eyes cool.

"True," Hiruzen conceded with a nod. "But Naruto is not Minato."

There was a stretch of silence. Hiruzen turned to look between both men in turn, recognising the determination in their eyes. Slowly, Hiruzen reached a decision. He sighed, dropping his pipe onto the desk. "I will not be able to keep Naruto's ability a secret for very long," he admitted. "There are too many eyes and ears in this village. I do not know how long it will take for people to realise the significance of Naruto's power, but if a storm is coming, then perhaps it is best to face it head on."

He turned to look at the jounin. "Kakashi," he said firmly. "I hereby assign Naruto Uzumaki to your team. You will be his jounin supervisor."

Just for a second, a flicker of doubt flew past Kakashi's face. It was gone quickly. Kakashi nodded. "I always assumed that you would assign the Uchiha to my team," he commented. As the only remaining Sharingan user in the village, Kakashi was the natural choice to teach Sasuke Uchiha.

"Very well," Hiruzen agreed. "Both Naruto and Sasuke will be on your team. You may have your choice of the third member, as well. Iruka, please sort this out with the Academy. Keep any talk of Naruto's ability quiet for now."

"And what about Naruto?" Kakashi asked quietly. "What should I teach him?"

The hesitation was hardly noticeable. "Teach him how to use his power," Hiruzen instructed. "He is going to need to learn how to use it. Just… Just don't let him _overuse_ his power."

Kakashi nodded quickly. The mental image of a small army of Narutos, all loud, brash, and jumping with energy, lingered in the room. It was a horrifying thought. Hiruzen stood up, walking to the door to call Naruto back in.

"As far as I am concerned, Naruto has one of the most powerful bloodlines in the world," Hiruzen said quietly. "Let us ensure that he uses it responsibly."

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

"Score!" Naruto shouted excitedly, climbing up the cupboards in the waiting room. There was a small metal container at the back of cupboards, and Naruto grinned as he saw clambered up to reach it. "I _knew_ that the secretary had a sweet tooth!"

Two sets of stomachs rumbled eagerly. From the other side of the room, the other Naruto sniffed as he realised what his doppelganger was smelling. "Oh! Cookies!" That Naruto exclaimed, recognising the tin. It was still so strange being able to see out of another set of eyes. "Gimme!"

The first Naruto grabbed the tin and jumped downwards on to the desk. It smelt so delicious he was practically drooling. Using that jutsu had left him completely famished. He giggled as he pulled over the lid.

"Me too!" The other Naruto demanded. "I'm starving too!"

He shook his head. "No, they're mine! I'm hungrier!" Naruto stuck out his tongue at the clone. "You're just the clone anyways, you don't need to eat."

The other Naruto frowned. "I'm not the clone," he protested. " _You're_ the clone."

"I am?" He frowned. They stared at each other for a while, but neither of them could actually remember who came first. In perfect synchronism, they both just shrugged dismissively. It felt like a fairly pointless question anyways. It was like asking which one of your own arms formed first.

"Anyways, give me the cookies!" Naruto demanded.

"Get your own!" The other Naruto said possessively, holding the cookies away.

Naruto's stomach growled hungrily. He was getting irritated now. "Bastard!" He shouted, before lashing out with sharp uppercut to the other Naruto's head. As soon as his knuckles collided, they both flinched and felt the pain.

"Ow!" They exclaimed together, rubbing their own foreheads. Both Narutos stared at each other in realisation.

"Oh right, we both feel the same pain," one of them muttered.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

They stared at each other for a bit longer, looking at the images coming from the other's eyes. "Ha!" The other Naruto mocked after a pause. " _You've_ got a bruise on your forehead now and _I_ don't."

Naruto bristled. "Really, wanna bet?"

Suddenly, he lashed out and punched his doppelganger straight in the forehead with a sharp jab. Both of them winced in pain and cursed. "Dammit!" They both shouted, rubbing their respective foreheads.

They glared at each other. " _Bastard!_ " They shouted in perfect synchronism.

Sensing an opportunity, the first Naruto grabbed the tin of cookies and quickly climbed to the top of the cupboard before the other could react. He stuck out his tongue mockingly, sitting on the top of the cupboard. "Heh! _I've_ got the cookies!" He teased, shaking the metal tin. "And _you_ can't reach me now!"

The other Naruto growled, glaring at his double angrily. Suddenly, an idea struck. It wasn't a very good idea. "Oh yeah?" He shouted, raising his fist. Without warning, he suddenly punched himself in the face. "I can hurt you just fine!"

Both Narutos winced in pain, but one of them had a triumphant smirk on his face. "Ha! Take _this_!" He shouted, ignoring his bloody nose as he clobbered himself in the forehead with a dull thump.

The first Naruto, on top of the cupboard, groaned as he clutched his head. He stared at his clone furiously. "You want to fight?" Naruto demanded angrily, raising his hands. "How about _this_?"

Quickly, he slammed his hand in his mouth and bit down quickly, teeth sinking into skin. Both Narutos yelped in pain. They glared at each other. "It is so… _on_!" They bellowed, before pounding their fists into their own stomachs.

By the time the Third Hokage opened the door again, the three men inside were all left speechless at the side of two Narutos writhing at opposite sides of the room, desperately trying to hurt themselves and each other by proxy. Hiruzen's mouth dropped open. Iruka face-palmed.

Kakashi just stared at the mindboggling display of stupidity. "Yep," Kakashi nodded definitely after a couple of seconds. "The world is doomed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes
> 
> Well, to everyone wondering what so great about the Perfect Clone Technique, hope this chapter clears things up. I was a bit more wordy than I would have liked, but everything goes from here.


	3. Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I currently don't own Naruto, but the hostage negotiator should be phoning me back any moment now.

The morning light sprinkled through Naruto's window, causing him to stir as he groggily tried to cling on to his dream. He moaned tiredly, feeling his mind slip into consciousness even as his body protested and demanded sleep. Naruto hugged the blankets tightly, and he might have managed to stay asleep longer if something moist and smelly hadn't collided roughly against his nose.

Naruto's eyes shot open. He was suddenly looking at a pair of dirty feet slammed into his face. There was no crueller way to wake up.

"Ugh!" Naruto shouted loudly, pushing the legs away. "Yuck! You're meant to stay in _your_ half of the bed!"

Suddenly, Naruto felt the thoughts and feelings churn in his other body as the second Naruto woke up. It was like a door opening in his mind, and instantly both Narutos could see out of two pairs of eyes.

"…Ummm…" The other Naruto muttered tiredly, struggling to focus. He was draped across the bed in a near identical position, but resting his head on the bottom such that his feet were in the first Naruto's face. "Don't blame me!" He protested weakly. "You moved around in your sleep!"

"No I never! _You_ were the one that moved!"

They were both right about to start another argument when the realisation hit them at the exact same time. Last night they had split the bed vertically, and they had both ended up twisting almost ninety degrees and swapping sides. Both Narutos frowned.

"Oh," they muttered dumbly. It was an awful thing trying to argue with yourself. You could never win.

"We need another bed," One of them said after a pause.

"Yeah," the first one agreed, before adding, "Next time, you sleep on the floor."

He bristled. "Why should _I_ have to go on the floor?!"

"Because… because…" The first Naruto struggled and failed to think of a good reason. "Because I say so!"

"Well, _I_ say that you should go on the floor!" The other Naruto snapped, throwing a dirty sock at his doppelganger's face.

"Bastard!" Naruto shouted angrily. They both raised their fists at the same time, but then paused. The memory of their 'fight' from last night was a fresh and humiliating memory. There was a moment of silent contemplation.

"We'll take turns with the bed," one Naruto said grouchily after a pause.

"Fine," the other agreed unwillingly, and then added, " _And_ with the housework."

"What about food?" The doppelganger moaned. "We both need to eat! You're going to hog all of _my_ ramen!"

"That's _my_ ramen!"

"Is not!"

"Bastard!" They screamed, before frowning and dropping their fists moodily. Living with yourself was an awful experience. Naruto was beginning to realise why all his teachers got so annoyed with him all the time.

There was another pause. They had been too tired last night to think about it, but now Naruto's new situation was becoming more and more awkward. His apartment was barely big enough for one, and he only had so much money for groceries.

"We'll have to share," Naruto muttered, dropping off the bed irritably. Smelly feet and half servings of ramen was a horrible way to start the day.

"Fine," the other agreed. He thought about it for a while. "But I should get the bigger portion, since _you_ hogged all of those cookies last night."

"That wasn't me! That was you!"

"Was it?" Both Naruto's frowned as they struggled to remember. Both their memories merged into one and they both could remember everything that the other felt and saw. It made any distinction between the two clones nearly impossible.

"That's it! I'm sick of getting confused between me and myself," Naruto protested. He paused to frown at how strange the statement sounded and wondered briefly on the correct pronoun, but then shook himself off and continued. "From now on, _I'm_ Naruto-One and you're Naruto-Two."

His doppelganger glared. "Wait, why should I be Naruto-Two?" He argued loudly. " _I_ want to be Naruto-One!"

"But… but…!" The first Naruto's mouth dropped open in wordless confusion at the dilemma. His brain was starting to hurt. Both of them. "Alright, how about this; I'm Naruto-One and you can be Naruto-A."

They thought about for a bit. "Ok then," Naruto-A agreed. "That works. So what happens now?"

Naruto-One shrugged. "We've got to get ready I suppose. Let's keep out of each other's way for the rest of the day. Only one of us has to go to the Academy for the orientation."

"So how do we decide?" Naruto-A pondered.

They both stopped to rub their chins in thought. The solution hit Naruto-A a millisecond before Naruto-One could react. "Shotgun!" Naruto-A shouted loudly.

"Shot– Dammit!" Naruto-One cursed moodily. He had been just about to say the exact same thing _. Does it even make a difference who went?_ They both mused silently, feeling the thoughts echoed across two brains. _We both experience the exact same memories and feelings simultaneously_.

"Fine," Naruto-One conceded. "You go to school for the team assignment. I've got to go for the registration photo anyways."

The photo-shoot should really have been yesterday, but with all the excitement Naruto had missed it. They both grinned with the thought. "Oh, make sure you make that photo badass!" Naruto-A said eagerly. "It's got to look cool!"

"I know, right?" Naruto-One agreed with a wide smile. "I was thinking war-paint."

"Awesome!"

They grinned wider, staring at each other through two sets of eyes. They were both perfect doppelgangers; short, spikey blond hair with the exact same orange tracksuit. Naruto-One hesitated as he reached for the head protector. Since Iruka gave him it after he was cloned, there was still only one headband.

"Here," Naruto-One offered quietly, handing Naruto-A the dull, strip of fabric as if it were a priceless treasure. "You'll need this."

Naruto-A nodded solemnly and took the headband. "I'll ask Iruka-sensei for a second one," Naruto-A promised. They smiled softly, and they could both feel each other relax slightly with the gesture.

 _Perhaps this could work_ , Naruto thought quietly, and both of his bodies nodded in agreement.

 _Huh, so don't we have to talk to communicate with each other_ , Naruto-One thought wordlessly.

 _Looks like_ , Naruto-A agreed.

 _You know, we're going to run out of food pretty quickly_ , Naruto-One suggested.

 _Yeah, and our pocket money from the old man isn't going to cover both us for very long_ , Naruto-A continued. Their individual thoughts were nearly indistinguishable from each other's now. _One of us is going to have to have to earn some cash._

They both grimaced at the thought. Most of the villagers would never even interact with Naruto, but Hiruzen had been known to hire Naruto to do odd little jobs when he wanted to earn more spending money, and some of the merchants always needed extra hands. None of it was high paying stuff, mind.

 _We need a job_ , Naruto-One thought miserably, in the same way he would think a swear word. _Plus…_

… _we need to clean up this place_ , Naruto-A added, motioning to the filthy apartment. Their thoughts were fluidly meshing together. Two brains, one mind. _And what…_

… _about our pranks?_ Naruto-One continued. _We've got a reputation as a prankster to uphold!_

They paused to think about the dilemma for a while. Slowly, a mischievous grin started to form across both their faces.

 _You know, splitting all this work between two people sounds a like_ …

… _a lot of work_. Naruto-One didn't even realise that he wasn't the one thinking anymore. Their thoughts were mirroring each other perfectly. _But what_ _about_ …

… _splitting it between_ three…

… _well_ that _sounds a lot easier_. They both nodded at the same time, grinning excitedly. The old man had warned them not to go overuse their power, but he hadn't said they couldn't use it _at all_.

 _Do you want to do it or should I?_ Naruto-A offered.

 _I will_ , Naruto-One volunteered. _You've got a graduation to go to_.

 _Ok then_ , Naruto-A nodded. _Ready?_

If there had been anyone spying on them, such as through a crystal ball, then all they would have seen were two Narutos standing quietly looking at each other wordlessly, occasionally nodding and smiling. One of the Narutos dropped into a stance and put his hands together.

"Yep," Naruto-One muttered, before taking a deep breath and focusing his chakra. It was definitely getting easier each time he used it.

" _Perfect Clone Technique!_ "

* * *

"What are you doing here, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked lazily, half asleep as he watched the blond walk into the classroom disinterestedly. "This is for graduates only."

Naruto stuck out his tongue and pointed to his forehead. "You see the headband, Shikamaru?" Naruto shouted triumphantly, while the rest of the classroom stared at him with various degrees of interest. "I'm right where I belong!"

Shikamaru just scoffed and muttered 'troublesome' under his breath, before resting on his desk and trying to get back to sleep. From the other side of the room, Kiba laughed as Naruto strolled eagerly up to his desk.

"Heh, looks like the examiners are handing out pity marks this year!" Kiba taunted. His wild hair was hidden under his hoodie, while Akamuru, nestled into his collar, barked in agreement. The feral Inuzuka's smirk was mocking, challenging Naruto to take the bait. The blond just shrugged, before sitting down quietly in the corner.

He didn't notice the dark-haired, petite girl sitting next to him. Hinata was blushing furiously as a Naruto unwittingly sat beside her, avoiding eye contact and shuffling away as her mind whirred with possibilities.

 _Naruto is sitting next to me!_ Hinata thought furiously. _I'm so glad he passed, but why is sitting next to_ me _?! Did he notice me tailing him the other day?_ She was panicking so hard with the thought that it became hard to breathe.

As a matter of fact, Naruto was barely paying attention to anything that happened in the room. Even as he sat down at the desk, Naruto-One was on the other side of the town, playing with a kid named Konohamaru after coming back from getting his photo taken, while the most recent clone, Naruto-Alpha (it had taken a very long time for them all to settle on a name), was recovering his strength as he pigged out on ramen at Ichiraku. All three clones could all taste the delicious ramen even as only one of them ate. It was heaven.

 _From now on_ , all Narutos decided at the same time, _we're going to be eating ramen constantly_.

Naruto was so distracted that he didn't even pick a fight with Sasuke Uchiha, despite the later looking even more broody than normal. Even when Sakura charged in to the room, arguing viciously with Ino as she barged towards Sasuke, Naruto never even spoke up.

As far as everyone else in the room, the normally hyperactive ninja was completely subdued and calm. The whole classroom seemed a lot more peaceful as a result.

None of them knew that at the exact same time, Naruto was also duelling with Konohamaru's teacher, Ebisu. Things had been going badly for him for a while, but then Naruto-Alpha rushed to Naruto-One's aid. The pair of them caught Ebisu in the newly created Sexy Technique: _Twin_ _Version_. The closet pervert never stood a chance.

In the classroom, Naruto smiled faintly as he stared distractedly in to thin air, drawing a few strange looks from the people around him.

"Settle down class," Iruka ordered instinctively as he marched through the door with a clipboard. He stopped and frowned confusedly when he realised that the class was already pretty settled, but then shook himself off and continued. "From this day forward, you are all officially ninja of Konohagakure. You are expected to carry out your missions, and to follow the code of the ninja. I just want to say how proud I am of all you for being here." His gaze lingered on Naruto briefly as he spoke.

" _However_ …" Iruka continued, his voice becoming stricter before anyone had the chance to look smug. "You are still genin. The hard journey that lies ahead has just started. Today we will assign teams, and each team will have a jounin sensei. You will have to follow your sensei's instructions in the field, and your sensei will guide you in your training."

He cleared his throat and slowly read off the clipboard. "Now then, Team 1 will be…" Iruka explained, going through the class one by one.

His gaze drifted over the classroom slowly as he spoke, quietly judging his students. He had been an instructor for a long time, and he knew how the process worked. It was harsh, but the vast majority of the graduates in the room would never make it as a ninja. The Hidden Villages valued quality over quantity when it came to their military.

Although technically Konoha could field an army of approximately twelve thousand strong in times of war; in truth the vast, vast majority of that number was made out of intelligence analysts, scouts, armourers, field and supply units and semi-trained brunt forces. For every one fighting ninja, there were hundreds of support units in the background. Skilled, experienced ninja were very rare and very valuable. Jounin-level ninjas could be worth whole armies by themselves. The whole training program employed by the village was designed to maximise the number of elite ninjas.

Hundreds of people went through the academy every year; there was a graduating class every six months, and there were multiple academies across the village. This was to ensure that even civilians had some sort of ninja training, even if it was very basic. Teams were assigned to weed out the graduates with real potential, while the others either returned to the process or resigned to a civilian life. Even if graduates didn't have the talent to be 'typical' ninjas, there were still a whole range of careers in maintenance, cryptology, interrogation, administrative, and support fields that were available. Everybody had the _chance_ to eventually become a jounin, but there were an extreme number of cutbacks that just didn't meet the requirements. As far as the training system was concerned; one professional ninja was worth filtering through hundreds of rejects.

Still, it was quite common for people to leave the academy and become blacksmiths or merchants, but they still contributed to the prosperity of the village in their own way. Again, the process recognised and appreciated this, which was why the curriculum included so many mundane subjects like maths and history, rather than solely fighting skills. Everybody was taught rudimentary ninja techniques too, of course, because civilians should have some knowledge of how to defend themselves in a ninja village, and even merchants needed to be able to tell whether their customer was paying them in henged coins. Graduates were encouraged to drop out if they didn't have the skill, and many left without even going through the team assignment. For the majority of its graduates; the academy acted not as a ninja training school specifically, but simply as a school.

After so long being an instructor, Iruka could guess which of his students would go on to become career ninjas and who wouldn't. Out of the large class, the instructors would be completely satisfied if even ten of them went on to be professional ninjas. The clan heirs; Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru, Ino, Hinata, Shino, Sasuke, and even Naruto too (Iruka's mind was still buzzing over the Hokage's revelation of Naruto's parents), all had a natural advantage against the others. There were also some from civilian families, such as Sakura, that showed talent too, though it was to be expected that those from a civilian background would be at a disadvantage compared to born and bred ninjas.

A hell of a lot of care and deliberation had went into the team assignment to make sure that everyone went into their right place, reflecting both the jounin supervisor, individual skills and the group's dynamic.

The ones with the most potential would be passed onto highly-skilled, professional jounin, such as Kakashi, Asuma or Kurenai, to ensure that they were given the best opportunity. The others would be assigned to specialist jounin, such as Ebisu, for a thorough evaluation and examination, although there was always the unspoken likelihood that the team wouldn't last very long. If the jounin supervisor found certain members to have talent that previously hadn't been recognised, then that team would be modified. If a graduate was borderline, or not utilising their full talent, then they were placed in referral and could always repeat the final semester.

 _There was an element of favouritism_ , Iruka confessed to himself, _but ninjas had to be pragmatic_. The instructors wanted everyone to become elite ninjas, but at the same time they knew that most people wouldn't be able to. They made every effort to give them all a fair opportunity and achieve their best, even if that wasn't so obvious from the point of view of the graduates.

Iruka's gaze lingered on Naruto with a flash of pride. Naruto had been a difficult case; he had the potential, but he just didn't show it very well. Iruka had wanted him to succeed so badly even when the other instructors tried to fail him. Naruto had already been through referral five times, but Naruto hadn't really appreciated the reason why. It hadn't been because everyone around him was being favoured over him, but it was a chance for him to do better the next time around.

Mizuki had wanted to pass Naruto in the last exam, Iruka recalled darkly, but that hadn't been an act of kindness. Mizuki had wanted Naruto to go through to the next stage because then the jounin supervisor would surely fail him once and for all, and then Naruto's dream would be over. When Naruto hadn't been able to use the clone technique, Iruka had been quite prepared to put him in referral once again. Iruka hadn't believed that Naruto was ready and so Iruka failed him to give him another chance, but Naruto hadn't seen it like that. As far as Naruto saw, Iruka had just been the bad guy.

The thought that Naruto would finally be graduating almost made Iruka jump for joy. His classroom would be so much quieter, cleaner and safer without the blond-haired ninja. Iruka wouldn't have worry about pranks, or cleaning up after Naruto's mess. It would be so nice, peaceful and quiet.

 _And I'll miss him_ , Iruka thought with a soft smile of remorse. _I'll miss the noise, and the pranks, and the mess._

Iruka had to clear his throat as he finally reached the name on the list that he had been waiting for. "Team 7 will be…" Iruka announced to the room. "… Uzumaki Naruto…"

The blond was instantly alert, ears pricking with the sound of his name. _Please be Sakura_ , Naruto thought wistfully, looking longingly at the cute pink-haired girl.

."… Sasuke Uchiha…"

"Goddammit!" Naruto cursed loudly, dropping into his chair. Across the room, Sakura and Ino both moaned at the same time. Sasuke didn't visibly react, but a very keen eye might have notice him wince slightly.

"… and Hinata Hyuuga."

There was a dull thump. Everyone turned to stare at the back of the room, where Hinata had suddenly collapsed to the floor. Her face was so bright red it looked ready to burst.

Naruto only groaned. "Aww, _great_ ," he moaned miserably under his breath. "… _another_ Sasuke fan girl…."

* * *

 _Ready?_ Naruto-One thought gleefully, sitting in the room, watching the scene from his doppelganger's viewpoint.

 _Oh yes_ , Naruto-Alpha thought cheerfully, _I've got the chicken feathers right here_.

 _The glue bucket is in place_ , Naruto-A confirmed.

 _How about the tripwire?_ Naruto-One asked curiously, as scrolled through his clone's memories to check if they did it. _Ah yes, that's done. This is going to be awesome!_

 _Our best prank yet_ , Naruto-Alpha agreed cheerfully.

 _We could do better_ , Naruto-One argued. _How about rotten fish, green gloop or pink paint?_

This had all started as an eraser over the door. Things had spiralled out of control since then.

 _Glitter!_ Naruto-Alpha thought with sudden inspiration. _We need sparkly glitter!_

 _Go for it!_ Naruto-A thought furiously as their imaginations whirred into gear. _Right now! I want every trap known to man! Hell, I want to invent a few of my own! I want to make prank history here, people! I want that corridor more booby-trapped than the Hokage's underwear drawer!_

 _On it!_ The other two Narutos shouted with a mock salute, before racing away.

"That's what you get for being late," Naruto muttered to himself with a satisfied giggle, folding his arms as he awaited his jounin supervisor. He figured that one body should stay completely still with the others to divert suspicion from himself.

In the room, Sasuke rolled his eyes irritably. Every other team had already left with their instructor. Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru left with their instructor Asuma, while Sakura, Kiba and Shino left with Kurenai, but Team 7 was waiting in an empty classroom. It had been two hours already, and the silence was getting on Sasuke's nerves. Sasuke was good at being quiet, but this type of silence was annoying him.

Naruto had tried to make conversation at the beginning, but Sasuke wasn't interested and Hinata looked like she was about to have a heart attack whenever Naruto tried to talk to her. After a while, Naruto just gave up and sat by himself.

That's when the silence got weird. Naruto wouldn't talk, but he would stare distractedly into the distance and occasionally smile and mutter to himself under his breath. It was like he just got so distracted that he forgot about the other two people in the room. Hinata was just as bad. She was twitching constantly; looking like she wanted to say something but too hesitant all the time. It was like she was always on the verge of speaking up, but instead would just hesitate, blush and retreat into herself.

Sasuke _liked_ silence. He even enjoyed ignoring people. He hated, however, being trapped in a room with two people that were too busy in their own minds to even say a word.

The minutes ticked by slowly. After a while, Sasuke just snapped. "What the hell are you doing, idiot?!" He demanded at Naruto.

Hinata jumped in shock. Naruto blinked. "What the hell is your problem, jerk?"

"You!" Sasuke shouted. "You're my problem! You keep on smiling and talking to yourself! It's distracting."

Naruto hesitated. _I am?_ He thought with surprise. It was easy to get distracted when you were having a conversation in your mind.

 _We need to be careful about that_ , a clone conceded reluctantly. _That could get really weird_.

In the room, Naruto bristled. "None of your business, jerk!" Naruto shouted defensively. "Stop looking at me, anyways, _that's_ weird!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, still glaring at Naruto suspiciously. Outside in the corridor, there was a crunch of something heavy dragging across the floor.

Naruto's eyes shot open. One of his clones was rolling the oil drum into position.

"What's that noise?" Sasuke muttered, standing up and going for the door. Naruto was instantly there, blocking the door with his foot.

"Nothing!" Naruto gulped. Both of his clones were busy working rigging up the corridor with traps.

Sasuke glared at Naruto. The sound of hammering filled the room; his clones were replacing the floor tiles now.

"What are you doing, moron?" Sasuke asked suspiciously, trying to dart past him.

Naruto kept his foot jammed under the door frame. There was a creak from outside; his clones were installing the spring-loaded launchers in the lockers now.

"Nothing. I just want to keep this door closed!" Naruto protested weakly. "I… um… I like this door closed. It looks better when it's closed."

"What's going on outside?" Sasuke demanded.

"Nothing!"

A ferocious hissing sound echoed down the hall. Naruto winced; they were back from the pet store, and they were now filling up the snake pit.

A flash of pride hit him. _Damn, I work_ fast.

"Get out of my way," Sasuke ordered. The corridor sounded like a construction zone.

Naruto stuck out his tongue. "Make me!"

Hinata trembled, speaking up for the first time. "…Please don't fight…" She muttered quietly, looking between Naruto and Sasuke with wide, nervous eyes.

Naruto glared at Sasuke. Carefully, Sasuke dropped backwards into a fighting stance.

 _Open the door_ , Naruto-Alpha insisted. _We'll take him together_.

 _We can't_ , Naruto-One thought reluctantly; _we told the Hokage that we'd try to keep the clone technique secret_.

Naruto growled, judging Sasuke up and down critically. _I'll take him by myself_ , Naruto-A thought determinedly; _you two just stay back_.

Sasuke's eyes were dark. He cracked his knuckles carefully. "Ready, moron?"

Naruto grinned tauntingly. "Bring it, idi–"

The blow hit him so quickly Naruto never even had time to react. One second, Sasuke was standing perfectly still, and then the next his fist was slamming against Naruto's cheek.

 _Damn it!_ Naruto growled. He suddenly remembered that he had never come close to beating Sasuke in the academy duels. _He's fast!_

Sasuke darted in again, a swift elbow slamming against Naruto's chest, followed by a painful swipe to the back of Naruto's neck. An easy combo; quick, painful and paralysing. Naruto could barely even react as his body toppled over and the floor rushed up to meet him.

 _This is going to hurt_ , both Narutos clones thought with a wince.

The impact sent his head spinning. Naruto could barely concentrate, but then there was a voice in his head, firm and reassuring. _Left arm_ , one of his clones ordered, and Naruto lashed out quickly. _Now!_

Sasuke barely had time to look surprised as Naruto recovered instantly, twisting off the ground and lashing out towards him with a left uppercut. Sasuke blocked, but barely. Naruto couldn't even see straight, but then he could feel his clone's presence in his mind, commanding his body.

 _You're concussed_ , Naruto-One explained simply; _but_ we're _not. We'll take over_.

Naruto-A couldn't even focus, but he just followed blindly as his clones guided his arms. They could see and feel everything he could, but they weren't in the moment. The minds of two the other clones took over, reacting much faster than Naruto-A was able to.

Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise as Naruto suddenly struck out with a series of fast, sudden jabs. The Uchiha caught each fist, but it still pushed him backwards. His footwork was poised and perfect as he danced around Naruto's flurry of attacks, his body tensing and coiling in preparation.

 _Watch out_ , Naruto-Alpha warned. While the other two were focused on the present, he was searching through the memories of their previous duels and recalling Sasuke's fighting style. _He likes spinning kicks - right leg._

Half a second later, Sasuke's body twisted and his leg struck out in a lightning fast arc. Naruto was already reacting. With three minds behind him, Naruto could already visualise his next moves faster than ever. Only one of him was actually fighting; but the other two could think with crystal clarity. Their brains meshed together with perfect synchronism as Naruto dropped to the ground, raising both hands to block Sasuke's leg.

 _Wait a second_ , Naruto-A thought dazedly, _am I sharing brain power?_

_Have I just gotten smarter?_

Sasuke's leg crashed against him. Naruto managed to brace in time, but the impact still took his breath away. Still, he gritted his teeth and grabbed a hold of Sasuke's leg. The dark-haired boy barely even had time to be surprised. Suddenly, Naruto twisted their positions around and pulled Sasuke's leg away. For one second, Sasuke wobbled and tried to balance himself, but Naruto was already pulling backwards.

Finally, Sasuke lost his composure. His arms swung madly as he toppled to the ground, but Naruto kept a hold of his leg. With a grunt of exertion, Naruto swung Sasuke upwards and around like a hammer.

With a satisfying crunch, Sasuke crashed headfirst into the wall. The plasterboard smashed.

Outside the room, two Naruto clones high-fived each other in a leap of joy.

Hinata gasped, looking between the two boys in nervousness and shock. Naruto pulled himself up, still trembling as the adrenaline rushing through his body. Sasuke groaned in pain, staggering to his feet as he clutched his forehead. His eyes were furious.

 _He's tough_ , Naruto thought with gritted teeth. An ugly bruise was already forming across the side of Naruto's face.

"Come on, jerk, I'll–" Naruto bellowed loudly, just as Sasuke darted off the ground.

 _Right arm!_ Both Naruto clones screamed together, but it was too late. Sasuke's fist zoomed into view. Naruto swung out with his. Both pairs of knuckles crunched against foreheads with a dull thud at the exact same time.

And then two bodies toppled limply to the ground.

* * *

 _What happened?_ Naruto-One demanded confusedly as the vision went blank abruptly. It was like a window slamming shut in his mind.

 _I think he was knocked out_ , Naruto-Alpha thought slowly, darting up the corridor to peek through the crack in the door. _Yep, Naruto-A is_ down.

Inside the room, both Naruto and Sasuke were unconscious on the ground, with a flustered Hinata standing over them. Hinata looked nearly crazed with worry and indecision.

 _Damn_ , Naruto-One groaned with a sigh. _Well, at least he took Sasuke-jerk down with him_.

 _Yep_ , Naruto-Alpha agreed. _That was good_.

They both glanced nervously around the pranked corridor; it was still only half-done. The glue bucket and feather trap was finished. The glitter launchers needed a bit of work, but the oil drum was a work of art and the tripwires were in place. The snake pit was filled and ready (non-venomous snakes only), but the lasso still needed positioning. With a bit of work, the next person to walk down the corridor would be in for a hell of a surprise.

It was glorious. Both Narutos wished that their third doppelganger was conscious enough to revel in its magnificence.

 _Come on_ , Naruto-One decided finally. Naruto-Alpha nodded at the exact same time. _Let's finish this off and get out of here._

* * *

Half an hour later, Kakashi Hatake strolled upwards towards the academy, observing the building with a lazy eye. He was exactly three hours late. Normally he went for two, but with this team he just wanted to be safe.

The academy was deserted as he casually walked through the door. Three steps later, he stopped suddenly, his eye narrowing.

"Hmm…" Kakashi muttered quietly, bending down to inspect the tripwire hidden across the corridor. It was so fine that a less experienced ninja would never have seen it.

Kakashi carefully stepped over the tripwire and kept on walking. Two steps later, he found a second tripwire. Four steps later he found a lasso hidden underneath a rigged tile.

"Huh," Kakashi murmured, before walking forward again. He was walking much more slowly, mind.

Around the corner, Kakashi noticed a huge oil drum hidden in the ceiling; rigged to the lasso and ready to fall. There were more traps concealed in the walls and lockers. Two large buckets of glue and feathers were rigged to fall from the ceiling. Kakashi kept on walking forward, eventually coming across a deep, hissing hole that had been dug into the centre of floor. The snake pit was filled with garter snakes, if Kakashi was any judge.

"You know…" Kakashi mused, staring at the rigged corridor. He had seen professional traps that were a lot less innovated. "… that's actually pretty impressive."

The jounin walked towards the room were his team was waiting. He looked at the door with sudden hesitation.

Five minutes later, Kakashi entered the room via the window.

Inside, Naruto and Sasuke were sitting on opposite sides of the room, scowling darkly at each other as they nursed bruised faces. Hinata was caught in the middle, sitting like a timid rabbit as she glanced between them. They all looked surprised, angry and exhausted as Kakashi idly dropped down from the windowsill, scratching his head as he examined the scene critically with a lazy eye.

The air in the room was tense. Underneath his mask, Kakashi hid a smirk.

"Hmm… how can I say this…?" Kakashi rubbed his chin in thought as he muttered to the newly formed Team 7. "…my first impression of you guys is…"

Three infuriated eyes glared at him. "…I think this could be _fun_ …"

* * *

The meeting was short and crisp. Kakashi carried an air of absentmindedness like someone too preoccupied to pay much attention to anything. The jounin only checked that his three genin were present, told them all to meet them up on the roof in an hour, and then casually jumped back out of the window.

All three of them were left in shocked and infuriated silence. Their nerves were already frayed into pieces. Naruto and Sasuke never stopped glaring at each other the entire time.

"…Um… um… Naruto? Sasuke?" Hinata muttered bashfully, as she hesitantly stood up. She had been blushing madly all day. "…He said we should go to the roof…"

With deliberate care, they both stood up together, heading towards the door. When they got within two metres of each, they both froze.

"What are you staring at, jerk-face?" Naruto demanded, hesitating before he went for the doorknob.

Sasuke scowl was murderous. "Listen up, dead-last," he said darkly. His face was just as bruised and bloodied as Naruto's. "I didn't _ask_ to be on a team with you. I don't _want_ to be on a team with you. As far as I'm concerned, you are nothing more than _dirt_ that I have to step over on my way to becoming a ninja. If you ever dare get in my way, I will wipe you off the face of the earth, do you understand?"

Naruto paused. Sasuke's eyes were deadly serious. Hinata looked up at Sasuke timidly. "…Um… Sasuke… you shouldn't…"

Her voice trailed off helplessly. "From now on…" Sasuke muttered coldly. "…You stay out of my way. Don't interfere, don't talk to me. Stay out of my way, and we'll both be much happier."

Naruto clenched his fists, and took a deep breath. An idea hit him. For once, he didn't feel like picking a fight.

"Fine!" Naruto snapped, holding both his hands up. "You want me out of your way; I am _out_ of your way. Look, completely out of the way!"

He took two steps backwards. "See?" Naruto said, unable to hold back the evil smile that flashed across his face. He motioned to the door. "I'm out the way – you can go first."

Sasuke glared at him, before scoffing in triumphant, snatching the door open and stomping out of the room. Hinata was about to follow him, but Naruto quietly held out his arm to stop her. Together, they stood in the doorway as they watched Sasuke walk down the corridor.

A tripwire clicked.

Naruto should have brought popcorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing that always bugged me about the Naruto-verse were the numbers. In the Fourth Shinobi World War, each of the Hidden Villages had over ten thousand ninjas, which was completely contradictory compared with everything that has ever been seen before. I mean, there were twenty-seven graduates from Naruto's Academy class, and only nine of them actually made it to genin. The chunin exams were even worse; I mean, a hundred plus hopefuls and only a handful of promotions each year. There's no way that that sort of intake could ever add up to an army of thousands.
> 
> Instead, I figured that the Hidden Villages were more like Special Forces; training a very few, highly elite forces while the rest of the army were support roles that were somewhere in the background. It also explains why each stage of the ninja career was so harsh; everyone who failed at each stage went on to some background role. For every elite ninja like the ones the series focuses on, there must be hundreds of support and backup units making up the numbers.
> 
> Also, just a clarification; I'm not anti-Sasuke. Later in the series he became a complete douche with one of the most flimsy motivations for being evil that I've ever heard, but in the early story I actually really liked him. He was brooding and aloof, sure, but understandably so, and he did have some pretty awesome moments. I think he had a great dynamic with Naruto, and I want to show that.
> 
> As for Hinata, I did seriously debate on whether to keep the original teams or swap Sakura out with someone. Hinata is just a character with so much potential, mind, and I think that, since the Hokage gave Kakashi his choice of the third member this time, there is a lot of fun I can have with the new Team 7. Plus it gives three people each with their own bloodline, which is nice.


	4. Team 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
> 
> ... and I will shoot one hostage every hour until that is corrected.

Hinata's hands never stopped trembling as she walked through the quiet streets towards the Hyuuga District. The whole day had been a whirlwind of emotion so intense she was left physically shattered, but still her heart was pounding furiously. Even in the turmoil of her thoughts, there was one that stood out louder than all the others.

 _Naruto! I'm actually in a team with_ Naruto _!_

She had had a crush on Naruto since before she had even understood what a crush was. Hinata had spent countless days staring at him in class, wishing that she actually had the courage to approach him. Now, she was actually in the same team as him, meaning that they would see each other every day and would actually interact.

Hinata should have been over-the-moon with joy. And there was a lot of happiness in her too, but that feeling was completely overshadowed by the doubt, the anxiety, and the fear – oh so much fear. The very thought of actually having a chance terrified her more than she could have possibly imagined.

She had to brace herself as she headed towards the doors of the compound – tall, white, unadorned and imposing. Hinata had to take a deep breath to steady her nerves and try to stop the twitching of fear, but it was no good. She knew her father would get mad if he saw the clan heiress looking so undignified.

With one last breath, Hinata carefully pushed the door open and walked inside the house. Even if she was born here, it still had never felt like home.

Inside, a servant, a young woman from one of the branch families, approached quietly to take Hinata's jacket. Hinata nodded meekly as the servant approached, while trying to avoid staring at the Cursed Seal on her forehead. Hinata's shoulders were stiff as she pushed off her shoes and walked barefooted through the compound.

The Hyuuga compound was large and airy; with wooden floors, screen doors and décor-less white walls. It was an ancient building, and the family was incredibly wealthy, but the Hyuuga had never been ostentatious with their wealth. There was some code among her family that seemed to encourage simple living, preferring plain robes and simple sashes, even if every member of the Main House was served hand and foot by the Branch Houses.

Her father's office was a large room on the far side of the building. Hiashi Hyuuga sat at his desk, carefully reading through a stack of papers, while his eldest daughter approached timidly. He didn't even look up as she entered the room.

"It was graduation today," Hiashi said simply, without greeting. "You were assigned a team."

It wasn't really a question, but Hinata nodded anyways. "Yes," she muttered quietly.

Hiasha kept on reading the papers. His pale blue eyes weren't focused on her, but Hinata knew that he could see absolutely everything anyways. Hiashi's body was completely composed as he quietly placed the page down on his desk with quiet grace. Hiashi Hyuuga excreted dignity and pride in the same way that normal people sweated.

"Who is your supervisor?" He asked quietly, while Hinata tried not to flinch as he stared at her.

"Kakashi Hatake," she replied in a meek voice. Every time she stood in front of her father, Hinata felt completely out of place and helpless. Perhaps she was.

A flicker of a frown passed through Hiashi's face briefly. "Kakashi Hatake," he repeated slowly. "I _had_ made arrangements for you to be assigned to Kurenai Yuhi. I believed her temperament would be better suited for you. The Hokage had no right to change teams without informing me."

Hinata flinched. "I'm sorry, father," she muttered monotonously, staring fixedly down at the wooden floor.

Hiashi stared down at her critically. Hinata honestly couldn't recall a time when she felt like anything other than a complete and utter disappointment to her father.

"Who are your team members?" Hiashi asked quietly.

"Sasuke Uchiha," Hinata replied, before hesitating slightly. "… and… and Naruto Uzumaki…"

Hiashi's fingers curled as soon as she said Naruto's name. "I see," he muttered, before looking at her sharply. "You are not, under any circumstances, to involve yourself with that Uzumaki boy, do you understand?"

Her eyes widened. Her body trembled. "But why–"

"He is a delinquent and a cancer in this village," her father said sharply. "Avoid any interactions with him, for I will not allow his influence to impede your training. Fulfil your required duties as a team member but do not socialise. I will have words with the Hokage about his placement on your team."

Hinata wanted to react. She wanted to scream, or to protest, to pull out her hair, but instead all that came out was a dull mumble. "…Yes father…" She muttered under her breath. She couldn't even meet her father's eyes. She had to blink repeatedly to hold back the tears, but Hiashi would be beyond furious if he saw her crying.

"Sasuke Uchiha is good," Hiashi continued with a nod. "I hear that the boy is quite talented. Perhaps his skill will rub off on you too."

Hinata nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Her father looked at her critically. He gripped his quill tightly.

"Your grandfather and I had an interesting conversation today," Hiashi continued after a moment's pause. "We are both concerned with your progress. You are already a genin, and yet you have yet to even awaken your Byakugan. Your techniques are basic at best. Your stances are sloppy. Hanabi is five years your younger, but she is already superior to you in so many aspects.

Hinata felt numb. The response was an automatic mumble. "I'm sorry, father."

"The Hyuuga Clan needs a strong leader."

"I'm sorry, father."

Hiashi paused. "You grandfather proposed an idea," Hiashi's voice was as calm and collected as always. "He suggested a duel between you and Hanabi to decide the succession. The stronger one would become the clan heir. The loser would not. I understand that many of the Hyuuga elders are in support of the suggestion."

The quiet, unemotional statement sent daggers of ice into Hinata's heart. She wasn't surprised, though. Her father was effectively choosing Hanabi over her. "… If I lost…" she muttered in a quiet voice. "… Would I have to go into the Branch House?"

"Possibly." Hiashi replied simply, as if the concept of abandoning his daughter to servitude and carving a Cursed Seal onto her forehead was unimportant. He paused for a few seconds. "It would be the decision of the clan elder's to decide."

Hinata didn't trust herself to reply. Her father nodded and returned to his paperwork. "We will discuss this later," he said in a voice that left no room for discussion. "There are arrangements to make before any change in succession can be made. In the meantime, I understand that you have a team evaluation tomorrow to prepare for. I suggest you go train."

Hinata nodded. She had to clutch her leg to stop her arms from trembling. Her father had never yelled at her, he had never lost his temper and he had never even raised his voice. Instead, he just talked to her with an expression of quiet disappointment that he had worn so long that it had become his face.

She was just about to leave the room, when Hiashi spoke up again, even as his quill darted across a sheet of parchment.

"Hinata," he said coolly. "I _expect_ you to pass this evaluation."

* * *

Naruto sighed as he traipsed through the door of his apartment, throwing his jacket onto the floor and kicking off his shoes. His apartment building was dirty, messy and unkempt. It wasn't a rundown hovel by any stretch, but it had just grown dirty, and neglected. Naruto honestly never even knew his neighbours; they had never had anything to do with him in any case.

His two doppelgangers were already inside the cramped room; one of them was cooking ramen cups while the other was training with a motionless Kakashi doll. As Naruto stomped into his apartment, his clone wordlessly shifted to one side so he could drop onto the bed.

It had been a long day. He was stuck on a team with Sasuke-jerk, he had a lazy jounin for a supervisor, and his face was still bruised and swollen after his fight with Sasuke.

There was just a hint of guilt as he thought about Sasuke. The dark-haired genin had been nearly frothing at the mouth murderously after he had fallen in to Naruto's prank. Apparently, he really hadn't appreciated being covered in feathers and dropped in a snake pit. If Kakashi hadn't been there to stop him, Sasuke might have quite possibly beaten Naruto senseless.

 _Ok_ , Naruto conceded after a few seconds of quiet thinking, _I_ might _have taken things a little too far with that prank._

 _It's Sasuke that was being the arrogant jerk_ , Naruto-One argued, shifting uncomfortably slightly. _He deserved it._

All three Naruto's paused slightly at that thought. Naruto wasn't a mean person, yet he had been so egged on by the presence of his clones that he might have crossed the line a bit. Every prankster had to know where the line was between harmless fun and actual cruelty. Pranking a jounin supervisor was acceptable, because it probably wouldn't work anyways and there was student-teacher dynamic to be upheld. Pranking a teammate, well, that got a bit dubious. Even if that teammate was Sasuke-jerk.

Naruto-A took a deep breath and sighed. The sun was just setting and there was an early start in the morning. Naruto-Alpha dropped a ramen cup down next to him, while all three of them mused quietly, feeling the same thoughts echo across three minds.

Naruto was quickly beginning to realise that even if he had three bodies, there was only one Naruto. They were all the same person. Talking to his clones was exactly the same as talking to himself.

He couldn't help but grimace slightly at the irony. For so long, Naruto had been isolated and lonely. Now, Naruto never had to be alone again, but he still felt just as lonely. Being surrounded by yourself was not the same as actually having company. It was a sobering thought.

All three bodies fell silent as they all thought the exact same thing. Quietly, they all picked up the ramen cup and started eating. Three sets of mouths chewed with perfect timing.

 _We've got an examination tomorrow_ , Naruto-One recalled quietly. _Survival test._ _We're not allowed breakfast_.

 _Yeah_ , Naruto-A agreed. Three stomachs winced slightly at the thought. _That sucks_.

Naruto-Alpha paused between bites of ramen. _You know_ … he mused quietly. _Really, only_ one _of us actually has to go without breakfast…_

Naruto-A turned to Naruto-One smugly. _And it is_ your _turn tomorrow_.

Naruto-One groaned. _Dammit!_ The clone cursed mentally, before adding, _Although you know that you're both going to feel my hunger as well, right?_

The whole idea of a survival test started to whir through Narutos' minds. If he went in with three bodies, then he'd be just about unbeatable. Only one clone had to participate visibly, when the other two could support. Hell, he could have one of him solely supplying food for the other two if he needed.

The thought made them all smile. With a mischievous grin, Naruto-One thought slowly, _It seems like this whole exam would be a hell of a lot easier if we brought more people to our side…_

All three of the smirked and put down their ramen at the same time. _Come on,_ they thought together; _let's get working_.

* * *

Sasuke quietly walked through the empty street towards his home, as dusk settled over the village. His house was one of the old Uchiha apartment buildings, a relic of the prestige clan, and he had it all to himself. Even after most of the Uchiha properties were confiscated by the state after the massacre, Sasuke remained the sole legal heir of an incredibly wealthy clan. His building was large enough to house several whole families, furnished and cleaned to perfection, but Sasuke was in absolutely no rush to get back home. After all, there wasn't anything waiting for himself there.

Despite his best efforts to clean himself up, there was still some pink glitter in his hair and he stunk of snake. Sasuke's still growled and tensed when he thought of Naruto and his prank, but he wasn't _really_ angry.

 _Naruto is nothing but an irritating annoyance_ , Sasuke decided finally. _He's not important enough to waste my anger on._

The setting sun cast long shadows across the street, as Sasuke walked, very slowly, through a deserted alley.

 _All of my hatred is reserved solely for big brother_.

* * *

_Early next morning…_

_I have five clones now_ , Naruto-One thought to himself, looking out over the training ground, moving through the senses of his doppelgangers. Naruto-Alpha and Naruto-A were both nearby, ready to assist when necessary.

His two newest clones, Naruto-Prime and Naruto-First, still weak from being created last night, were keeping their distance; Naruto-Prime was in the treeline, keeping watch, while Naruto-First was in reserve.

All five Naruto's paused. _We can't keep on naming ourselves different variations of number one_ , Naruto-One thought slowly. _We're running out of different names here._ Eventually _, someone is going to have to be named number two._

 _Not going to be me!_ All five Narutos snapped instinctively.

They all paused, and then grimaced. _God_ , they thought with a sudden realisation, _I'm a stubborn bastard sometimes_.

Naruto had half expected himself to be the first one there. Naruto had an entire game plan prepared for facing Kakashi and all his clones were in position, but Sasuke was there first. The dark haired boy was sitting crossed legged by the trees, and both of them quite deliberately didn't interact with each other as Naruto moved to sit down on the opposite side of the clearing.

About fifteen minutes later, Hinata arrived, looking even more nervous than usual. She hesitated for a long time, before sitting on the opposite side of the clearing from Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto thought about starting a conversation with her for a while, but she always mumbled incoherently whenever he tried, so Naruto just assumed that she wasn't interested in talking.

About thirty minutes later, all three of them started to realise that Kakashi's tardiness was obviously going to be a recurring theme, and they settled in for the long wait.

Meanwhile, Naruto's doppelgangers went to get a snack. In the clearing, Naruto was left stewing in uncomfortable silence as his stomach churned with hunger.

About two hours later, they glimpsed Kakashi casually strolling towards the train ground. By that time, Naruto was nearly growling with hunger and frustration.

"Hey guys, good morning!" Kakashi shouted cheerfully. His single visible eye was totally relaxed and casual.

"You're late!" Naruto bellowed loudly. Sasuke just stood with his arms folded, glaring at Kakashi, while Hinata was too busy staring at the ground.

"Ah, I lost track of time as I was contemplating the meaning of the universe," Kakashi said in mock apology, idly flexing his arms and rummaging around in his pockets. "Now then, let's get started. Survival training."

With frustrating slowness, Kakashi pulled out a small alarm clock from his flak jacket and placed it on a tree stomp. All three genin looked at him curiously as he wound the clock up.

"Ok, it's set for noon," Kakashi said lazily, turning to face the three of them. He slowly pulled out two small bells out of his pocket, as they rung gently. "Here are two bells. Your task is simple. You've just got to take these from me before the time is up."

He gestured to the three stumps at the edge of the clearing. "Those who don't have a bell by noon, gets no lunch. I'll not only tie you to one of the stumps but I'll also eat in front of you." Three sets of stomachs rumbled at the thought. Naruto felt like collapsing. In the distance, four other Narutos were laughing. "You only need one bell," Kakashi continued, shaking the bells gently. "There are only two, so one of you will definitely be tied to the stump."

His voice didn't change, but his gaze became slightly darker. "And…" Kakashi muttered quietly. "I've got no time for _three_ genins. The person who doesn't take a bell fails the exam. At least one of you will be sent back to the Academy."

The mood became darker. Sasuke slowly cracked his knuckles, discretely tensing his body. Naruto's fists clenched. Hinata looked nearly frantic with worry. "… But… but you can't do that!" Hinata protested in a squirrely voice. "Every genin group needs three –"

"I can do whatever I want," Kakashi countered coolly, turning to Hinata. "You think I care that you and Sasuke are both clan heirs? I honestly couldn't give a damn what your father would say; I'll fail anyone who doesn't meet _my_ standards."

Hinata gulped and backed down slightly. Kakashi eye swept over her, lazily critical. "If you want to pass, all you need to do is get a bell. Like I said, it's simple," he said dismissively. "If you want, you can use shurikens and kunais. You're not going to succeed unless you come at me with intent to kill."

"That's easy!" Naruto shouted triumphantly. "I'll get both of those bells no problem!"

"Don't make the mistake of confusing 'simple' with 'easy'," Kakashi muttered, looking at Naruto teasingly. "Well, ignore Mr. Dead Last here and start when I say… Dead Last! Dead Last! _Dead Last!_ "

A vein bulged on Naruto's forehead as his whole body tensed in anger. Quick as a flash, Naruto snatched a kunai from its hoister, swirling the sharp blade around his fingers as he prepared to throw. Kakashi didn't even move. Naruto's arm tensed.

And then, so fast he didn't even blur, a firm pair of hands grabbed Naruto's wrist and the back of his head. By the time Naruto's eyes even registered that Kakashi had vanished, the sharp pinpoint of the kunai pressed slightly against the back of his neck.

"You know, I'd have thought that your experience with _Mizuki_ would have taught you not to be so reckless," Kakashi whispered quietly into Naruto's ear. The blond barely had time to comprehend what had just happened. Naruto tried to struggle, but Kakashi's grip was iron.

"Allow me to teach you one of the most fundamental moves in a ninja's arsenal," Kakashi announced to the team. " _The execution strike_."

Hinata gasped in shock. Even Sasuke looked alarmed. Kakashi's hand wrapped tightly around Naruto's throat. "Firstly, get behind your opponent like this. Clutch his throat like this, and then hold his arm backwards like _this_." Naruto winced in pain as Kakashi twisted his shoulder back, but Kakashi clutched his throat so tightly he couldn't even gasp. The jounin's voice was as lazy as ever. "The trick is to stay close and keep the momentum. If your opponent has leverage, he can throw you off. Do it properly, and he's helpless."

"After that, you need the finishing strike. It has to be quick, clean and quiet. Snapping the neck is a nice option; simply move your body weight and twist counter-clockwise." Naruto gulped, but Kakashi's voice was frighteningly calm and instructive. It was the voice of experience. "Don't ask me why counter-clockwise; it's just easier that way for some reason. Alternatively, you could pull backwards and snap their spine."

With practiced easy, Kakashi twisted Naruto's arm around. He was clutching Naruto's wrist so tightly he couldn't even move his fingers. "Or…" Kakashi continued slowly, pressing the sharp metal edge a bit further on to Naruto's skin. "… there's the old ninja favourite; a kunai, right through temple, into the _brain_."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. He heard Kakashi whisper quietly into his ear. "… you know what that feels like, don't you, Naruto?" The jounin whispered. Naruto was left absolutely speechless with dread, even as Kakashi let go of his grip and Naruto toppled to the ground.

Hinata rushed to Naruto's aid quickly. Kakashi measured their expressions slowly; Naruto was shocked, Hinata was scared, while Sasuke looked almost… _hungry_. Kakashi tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Like I said, come at me with intent to kill," Kakashi said quietly. "You can't be a ninja if you're afraid of drawing blood."

A tense silence settled over the clearing. "Now then… Begin!"

* * *

 _So then_ , Kakashi mused quietly as he glanced around the clearing. _I've got three genin each from prestige clans and very powerful bloodlines. This might be interesting._

He glanced around the clearing as Hinata and Sasuke disappeared into the woods. Kakashi could still tell where they were, of course, but they were still fairly well hidden. He nodded approvingly, before turning his attention to the bright orange figure demanding his attention.

"Come here and fight me!" Naruto bellowed, standing in front Kakashi boldly.

The jounin rubbed his head in doubt. "Umm… You're a little bit off…" He mumbled.

"The only thing that's off is your haircut!" Naruto bellowed defiantly, before charging at Kakashi quickly.

Underneath his mask, the jounin smirked. _Alright, if you want to play that game_ … "Ninja fighting lesson number one…" Kakashi mumbled, digging into his bag. " _Taijutsu_."

Naruto nearly collapsed when he saw Kakashi pull out a little orange book. The words 'Come Come Paradise' were emblazoned brightly on the cover. Kakashi was already grinning under his mask as he flipped to where he left off. Naruto looked confused.

"I just want to know what happens next," Kakashi explained simply, hunched over his book. "Don't worry, it won't make a difference against you guys."

It took a few minutes for the statement to sink in Naruto looked confused for a moment, before his face twist in anger. "I'll totally kick your ass!"

Naruto leapt off the ground with a backwards fist. Kakashi blocked it so casually he barely even noticed. Naruto screamed in rage as he twisted around in mid-air with a spinning kick. Kakashi had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

 _Honestly_ , Kakashi thought to himself, turning the page. _He might as well just put a big sign telling me how he's going to attack next._

Kakashi ducked as Naruto's foot went over his head. The genin recovered quickly, bouncing off the ground and striking downwards with his fist. Naruto never even registered that Kakashi disappeared right up until the moment he heard a quiet voice from behind.

"A ninja isn't meant to be caught from behi–" Kakashi started, but then he caught a flash of movement leaping from the trees at him. Suddenly, a second Naruto, an exact doppelganger to the first, leapt out of the ground, screaming as he jumped down at the jounin.

 _Ah, this clone jutsu… I'm quite interested in testing this one, actually_ , Kakashi mused, idly twisting the side as he avoid the second Naruto's surprise attack.

"You know you shouldn't scream when you're launching an ambush," Kakashi chided, leaping backwards gracefully. The Naruto clone missed and went rolling to the ground. "It kind of gives away any element of surpris–"

If it hadn't been for years of experience and honed reflexes, the two hands bursting out of the ground would have caught Kakashi. Instead, he only just managed to jump over them as they snatched for his foot. _A third clone, camouflaged in the ground, just waiting to get me_ , Kakashi realised. _The other two were loud and brash deliberately – distractions. He actually managed to distract to me_.

Underneath his mask, Kakashi grinned, while his foot slammed against the third Naruto's head and buried his face into the ground. _Not bad_ , Kakashi conceded.

All three Narutos staggered to their feet, glaring at Kakashi furiously. Without even a moment of hesitation, all three of them leapt at Kakashi with a swift combination of kicks and punches. The coordination was perfect. Unnaturally perfect. Kakashi surpassed Naruto in speed and reflexes by a huge margin and still managed to dodge each blow, but the flurry of kicks and punches was still formidable.

"So this is your new technique," Kakashi commented lazily, weaving between the orange blurs launching themselves at him. "Hmm… No matter how many of you line up, you still can't beat me with that jutsu."

"Shut up!" Naruto grunted loudly. It took Kakashi a few seconds to realise that it was actually three Narutos speaking as one. They really were _that_ in synch. "I will make you acknowledge me!"

One Naruto grabbed another and spun him forward for a powerful spinning kick. Kakashi smirked, channelling chakra with practiced ease and quickly disappearing with a barely noticeable blur. In an instant, Kakashi was walking behind the clones, while the third Naruto suddenly found himself masked in an illusion and dropped in the way of his doppelganger's kick. The Kawarimi, Body Replacement Technique, was so perfect that not even a Sannin would have been able to notice.

 _Let's see how you like kicking_ _yourself_ , Kakashi thought smugly, just as Naruto unwittingly charged at his clone.

Except that was what should have happened. Instead, as soon as Kakashi flickered away, all three Narutos changed direction and jumped after him. Kakashi reacted a second too late, just as realisation struck him.

 _They see through each other's eyes!_ Kakashi cursed himself silently. _Of course the Kawarimi was never going to work!_

Naruto was too close; there wasn't even time to dodge. Instead, Kakashi reacted quickly, his hand flashing out as he swatted two of the clones to the ground with a sharp jab. The third one dived at him, just as Kakashi sidestepped and stuck out his foot. Naruto toppled to the ground, but all three bodies were up again in seconds.

 _I'm too used to fighting against Shadow Clones_ , Kakashi mused. He still half-expected the clones to turn to smoke with a slight knock, but these clones all felt just as solid as a real person.

"I've got you now!" Naruto roared, just as all three bodies twisted around to surround Kakashi. The jounin looked completely unconcerned, yet he wasn't reading his book anymore.

They leapt at him together. Kakashi sidestepped and spun, tripping one body over and sending it falling into another. Generally, when he was surrounded, it was good practice to play his opponents against each other, but it was no good. The Naruto clones were better coordinated than a team that had a spent decades working with each other, and they all just adapted and moved as one.

Kakashi was beginning to realise that they weren't three different people; he was facing a single opponent with three different bodies. Individually, each Naruto was weak and untrained, but as organised team, it was actually proving to be a surprisingly difficult challenge.

Still, there was no point letting Naruto know that. "Is this all you can do, dead-last?" Kakashi taunted, raising an eyebrow. "You'll never become Hokage like _this_."

"Shut up!" All three Narutos bellowed, the doppelgangers charging as one. Kakashi kept both hands by his side, agilely stepping behind them and kicking one to the ground with a lazy kick. Another Naruto tried to react, but Kakashi swept his leg out and knocked him off his off his feet. The other Naruto couldn't even turn around in time as Kakashi sidestepped behind him and struck downwards for a debilitating swipe to the back of the neck.

Or, at least, he tried to. Naruto managed to drop to the ground at the last second, just as Kakashi's hand hit nothing but air. Kakashi's eye widened in shock for a moment. _Now how did you do that?_ The jounin mused. _You shouldn't have even been able to see that attack from behind, and the other two Narutos were on the ground, so – oh, of course, you must have a fourth clone hiding in the trees somewhere._

The thought made Kakashi smile, not that Naruto could see it. Naruto was definitely prepared, and putting up a good fight. He didn't stand a chance to get the bells, of course, but at least Naruto had the teamwork amongst himself down. _If only he actually learns to work with the others now…_

Kakashi didn't have time to waste on Naruto. The clones were stubborn to defeat, and he had two other genin that he needed to test. It was time to end this.

"Alright then," Kakashi mused, absentmindedly dodging a flurry of attacks. Two clones were trying to get him close quarters, while the third had started launching kunai from a distance. Kakashi lazily dodged every blow and caught every kunai. "It looks like you're ready to proceed to ninja lesson number two: _genjutsu_."

"Shut up!" Naruto bellowed. All three of his bodies were out of breath. "Stop acting so arrogant! I'm going to get those bells!"

"No you're not," Kakashi said pleasantly. His hands flicked through the handseals so quickly that Naruto couldn't even recognise them. "You're going to sleep now."

A phantom wind surrounded them. The Naruto clones all paused, staring in shock as their eyelids started to flicker. Naruto had such incredibly terrible chakra control that he never even sensed the foreign chakra invading his system.

"Umm…uh… what did you do to me…?" Naruto mumbled confusedly, staring at Kakashi in shock. His vision wavered. Suddenly, all of his perceptions changed. He blinked multiple times, twisting his head as instantly everything turned upside down. "Say… how come you're standing on the ceiling…?"

Naruto blinked again. In an instant, the world was twisted a hundred and eighty degrees, and Naruto was left clinging onto the floor as he hovered over the bottomless pit of sky. Then, gravity reasserted itself and he was left falling downwards up into the air. Naruto couldn't even scream as the air was wrapped out of his lungs, arms flapping madly.

In the real world, Kakashi watched curiously as all three Naruto clones tremored, convulsed and then dropped to the floor like a stone. All three of them were completely unconscious. "Damn," Kakashi muttered to himself. "You really don't have any resistance against genjutsu at all, do you?"

Kakashi stood over the limp bodies for a few seconds. He paused, glanced into the woods, and then slowly drew a kunai. Without warning, Kakashi suddenly struck downwards with the kunai, thrusting it straight towards Naruto's defenceless body.

Suddenly, a shuriken collided with the kunai, taking the metal blade straight out of Kakashi's hand. He nodded smugly, and then turned around to face the figure dropping out of trees. Hinata was staring at him breathlessly.

"I figured that you would appear if you thought that Naruto was in danger," Kakashi explained, turning to face Hinata. Her face was flushed. "But tell me, if you care so much about him, then why didn't you fight beside him when he needed help the most?"

She didn't respond, but Kakashi saw the blush rise on her cheeks. Even from this distance, Kakashi could clearly see how much her hands were trembling as she dropped into a fighting stance. A typical Hyuuga pose.

 _This one has some serious self-esteem issue_ , Kakashi noted curiously. Still, Kakashi could recognise the signs of talent in Hinata's pose. Naruto's form had been wild and all over the place, but Hinata's was reserved, poised and obviously well-practiced.

 _She won't make the first move_ , Kakashi realised, sizing up her stance expertly. It was only because she thought Naruto was in danger that she came out of hiding at all. _Oh well, I'd better attack her first_.

In an instant, Kakashi's body grew hazy and flickered. His mastery of the Body Flicker Technique meant he could use it without handseals, which caught Hinata off-caught. Still, she recovered quickly, just as Kakashi appeared behind her and struck out with a lazy kick. Hinata dodged, jumped backwards and lashed out with a kunai. Kakashi swatted the metal blade away absentmindedly.

"Come on now, you can't beat me with attacks like that," Kakashi teased gently. While Hinata took her stance again, staring at him with wide eyes. She was very defensive, always hesitant to attack. _She was definitely less aggressive than the other two genin in the group_ , Kakashi decided. _Then again, what reason did she have to attack? The Hyuuga style was always much more effective at reflecting attacks than delivering them._

"Alright," Kakashi decided finally. "Ninja lesson number three; _ninjutsu_."

Hinata's eyes widened in shock as Kakashi's hands flickered through the handseals. She started running as she felt the chakra pulse, but it was too late. The ground beneath her feet suddenly turned soft and twisted as the earth rose up to grab her ankles, but Hinata reacted quickly. A sharp pulse of chakra launched from her feet to break away the earth, just enough for her to jump out of the range of the jutsu.

 _Not bad_ , Kakashi nodded. She had very good chakra control and a nice stance. Just as her feet hit the ground, Kakashi charged in with a deliberately slow uppercut. Hinata dodged the blow easily, but just when she had the chance to counteract, she hesitated. Kakashi responded by tripping her over and easily pushing her to the ground.

She recovered quickly. This time, she did strike, but it was with a normal soft-palm attack rather than a chakra infused scalpel. As far as the Hyuuga Gentle Fist style went, she was obviously well practiced with the stances and forms, but not so much with the jutsu element of it. Again, Kakashi could feel the doubt and hesitation in every move she made.

 _It's a shame too_ , Kakashi decided. _She'd be quite formidable if she had more confidence_.

"I'm guessing you haven't awakened your Byakugan yet, right?" Kakashi asked conversationally, as he easily twisted Hinata's arm around her back. His voice was sincere. "It was a good effort, though," he praised, just as he gave her a sharp push forward. Hinata tripped, and toppled straight downwards into the earth jutsu trap. She squealed as the earth wrapped around her and hardened, encasing her limbs tightly.

As Hinata struggled to escape, Kakashi glanced around. "Alright then," he muttered out loud. He slowly turned around to stare out into the distance. "I guess there's only one left to–"

The barrage of shurikens and kunai hit him as soon as he turned his back. Kakashi had already predicted the surprise attack and Kawarimi'd away, but the viciousness of the blow was still fairly impressive. If Kakashi hadn't been so suspicious, then that attack would have turned him into a pincushion.

In the distance, he heard Sasuke curse as the genin realised that Kakashi had left the opening on purpose. Before Sasuke could even find a new hiding place, Kakashi was standing behind him, leaning against a tree, reading his book coolly, as he inspected the young Uchiha. Sasuke clutched a duel pair of kunais tightly.

"Be careful," Sasuke muttered quietly, not turning around. "…I'm not the same as them…"

Kakashi looked up from his book curiously. He'd barely had a chance to read anything of Come Come Paradise. Strangely, though, he wasn't too interested in his smut anymore.

"I'm counting on it," Kakashi replied simply, looking at Sasuke with an attentive glimmer in his eye.

* * *

 _Wake up! Wake up you moron!_ A loud voice bellowed in Naruto's mind.

Groggily, Naruto's eyes flickered open, unfocused. As soon as his pupils managed to focus, he gasped and recoiled at the sight. Around him, the whole world was spinning in dizzily spirals. It was so disorientating he almost collapsed again.

 _The world!_ Naruto thought with panic. _It's gone haywire!_

 _No it hasn't!_ The voice snapped irritably. Naruto-A slowly recognised the voice as Naruto-Prime, yelling mentally at him. _It was Kakashi, he used some sort of illusion thing on you. Your perceptions have gone mad. Just ignore absolutely everything you think you're seeing and focus on my vision instead._

Slowly, Naruto-A concentrated on the presence in his mind, opening up the senses until it was all he could see. In an instant, the spinning stopped and Naruto-A was looking through Naruto-Prime's eyes, staring at himself, Naruto-Alpha and Naruto-One all lying on the ground; blinking and looking around uncertainly. The other two Naruto clones were all coming to their senses as well.

Uncertainly, the three clones stood up wobbly. Their senses were off; it was like they had to control their own bodies through the third person, and Naruto-Prime was some distance away, hiding in the trees. The viewpoint was disorientating to say the least. Still, it was a lot better than feeling like everything was spiralling around them.

In the distance, there was a huge rumble, followed by a plume of smoke rising over the treeline. _What was that?!_ Three Narutos demanded together.

 _Sasuke-jerk_ , Naruto-First replied bitterly, relaying the scene to them. _He's fighting Kakashi now and he's making us look bad. Come on, we've got to go beat him up right now_.

_You mean Kakashi?_

_Him too_.

The memories of their last battle with Kakashi were still fresh and the bruises were still sore. Even three on one, with every trick Naruto had, the jounin had still owned him without breaking a sweat. _We need a plan_ , Naruto-One decided firmly; _we need to catch him off-guard and get those bells!_

 _How?_ Naruto-Alpha argued. _He's too fast. He just doesn't make mistakes_.

 _Actually, that's not true_ , Naruto-Prime realised as he reviewed the memories of their fight. _Remember, he made quite a few mistakes. I don't think he's used to our clone technique; he doesn't know much about it and he tripped up a few times._

 _So we've got to work together here_ , Naruto-A mused. He rubbed his chin as his brain strained to think of a plan. Four other Narutos were thinking just as hard; their brains meshing together as they concentrated. We need some sort of distraction. It's got to be something he won't expect – an absolutely unpredictabl–

Inspiration struck. The idea made them all gasp. _Ohhh!_ They paused for a second. _Yeah, that'll work_.

 _It'll take me twenty minutes to run back into the village and back_ , Naruto-First offered. _Keep him busy until then, I'll get the supplies._

 _Good. Remember, he's only knows that we've got three clones_ , _but he might suspect a fourth_ , Naruto-One reasoned. _Let's keep the fifth one as a surprise_.

 _Ok, battle time, people!_ Naruto-A thought determinedly. _Let's roll!_

* * *

Kakashi looked at Sasuke bemusedly. Only the genin's head was visible, the rest of him had been swallowed by the earth. The dark-haired boy was quite impressive, and he definitely deserved his title of rookie of the year. The jounin was pretty impressed that he had even managed to touch the bells, but of course Sasuke was never good enough to win. Still, Kakashi nodded approvingly as he strolled away, head in buried in his book again.

 _Yeah, Sasuke is definitely good. He'll likely get even stronger if he awakens his Sharingan. His team-working skills have a lot to be desired, but I can work with that_ , Kakashi mused. _Both Hinata and Naruto did pretty well too. Naruto's clone technique is definitely formidable and he uses it well, and Hinata has very good chakra control and strategy. Hinata just needs a bit more confidence while Naruto probably has a bit too much._

Still, the bell test was useless unless they could actually all work together. Unless they could make that first step from being three individuals to being an actual team, Kakashi was quite prepared to fail them all.

It was nearly noon already. Sasuke might well escape from the earth trap before the time limit, and Kakashi suspected Hinata would too. Kakashi might have gone a bit overboard with that genjutsu on Naruto, so those three clones would be down for the count. Naruto might have other clones running around, but otherwise Kakashi didn't really expect any more major challenges to get the bells. Right now, it was simply a matter of walking around and waiting for the bell to ring.

 _I think I'll have to tie Hinata to the post_ , Kakashi decided. _I'd have to plant more posts if I wanted to tie up all of Naruto's bodies, for one._

There was a light rustle in the bushes. A less suspicious man would have mistaken it for a bird, but Kakashi might as well have invented suspicion. The jounin didn't noticeably react and kept on walking normally, but he was also fully prepared for the moment when two Naruto's leapt out of the foliage towards him.

Kakashi quickly sidestepped, reaching out and grabbing a clone by one of its legs, then throwing him into his partner. Both doppelgangers landed on the ground with a painful thud.

"Hey there Naruto," Kakashi said casually, not looking up from his book. Behind him, a third clone burst out of the bushes and threw a shuriken at Kakashi's back. The jounin idly caught the blade. "You're here to try again, then?"

All three of them growled, pulled themselves up and yelled, "I'll get those bells!"

Curiously, Kakashi recognised the light bruises and scuff marks on their clones. These were the three clones that Kakashi had hit with that genjutsu. Naruto most certainly didn't have the control to dispel it. "Say, how did you escape that illusion?" Kakashi asked curiously. "It shouldn't have worn off yet."

Naruto didn't respond, but instead he charged at Kakashi from three sides. The jounin's eye was alert for any trap, but instead it was just a normal and completely futile frontal assault. All three Narutos were sent skidding to the ground by a series of swift, light kicks.

They didn't pause. Instead, Naruto leapt upwards, launching at Kakashi with duel spinning kicks followed by an uppercut. Kakashi pushed two clones into each other casually, before tripping the other one over. Again, all three of them stood up and attacked once ore. They panting heavily, but still going.

"You don't learn very quickly, do you?" Kakashi teased as he weaved easily through the blows, but inside he was alert. Previously, Naruto had been stubborn, yes, but also clever. Now, he was using nothing but futile frontal assaults. _Is he just desperate, or is he trying to lure me into some trap?_ Kakashi mused. Either way, it justified Kakashi putting his book down.

"I've learned how to kick your ass!" Naruto bellowed, lashing out with an easily predictable right hook. Kakashi had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as he caught the blow and planted the clone's face firmly into the ground.

They kept on attacking with the same useless attacks. Now Kakashi was certain; Naruto was deliberately wasting time. Kakashi might have suspected these clones were distractions while another one went for the food, but that didn't make sense. The majority of Naruto's bodies clearly weren't hungry, and anyways the lunch boxes were so heavily booby-trapped that no one stood a chance of getting them. In normal circumstances, Kakashi would have taken all three of the clones down and interrupted whatever Naruto had planned, but this was a test and Kakashi was curious. He played with Naruto for a while longer, casually kicking his bodies to the ground while waiting for whatever was coming.

"This is getting boring," Kakashi yawned eventually, nonchalantly blocking a barrage of rapid punches. All three Narutos were tiring now.

"Be quiet!" Naruto snapped, panting as he pulled himself off the ground again. "I'll make you acknowledge me!"

"Acknowledge you as what?" Kakashi asked dryly. "A massive annoyance?"

"Shut up!" They all bellowed, charging at him together. Kakashi's leg whipped out in a blindingly fast spinning kick, knocking all three of them onto the ground.

It was only when they hit the ground that Kakashi noticed they were all clutching something. It was a single, long piece of rope, wrapped around Kakashi like a net. The realisation hit quickly. _He used the momentum of my own kick to position it around me_. All three Narutos must have past it between them as they charged, and now the rope surrounded Kakashi like a net. The jounin recognised the grin on all three Narutos' face as they all pulled the rope tight as it whipped towards Kakashi like a lasso.

"Now!" The Naruto clones bellowed, and Kakashi glimpsed a flash of orange in the foliage trigger something. There was a whip of tripwire being cut, followed by the sharp lash of a trap bursting through the vegetation.

Suddenly the air was covered in kunai and shuriken, launched from both sides in a deadly rain of sharp metal. Kakashi didn't appear to move, even as the metal hit him straight on, repeatedly puncturing his body.

For half a second, the clearing was deathly silent. Then, 'Kakashi' disappeared with a puff of smoke, leaving behind a pile of splinters that was once a log.

A few seconds later, the real Kakashi appeared from the side, folding his arms as he looked at the fourth Naruto clone doubtfully.

"Seriously?" Kakashi asked sceptically. The air blurred, and with three sharp blows the trio of Narutos collapsed to the ground, unconscious. " _That_ was your plan? Distract me while you had time to set up the trap? I don't know; I was expecting something a bit more… impressive…"

There was only one Naruto clone still standing now. His arms were shaking, his face contoured in rage. "Shut up!" Naruto screamed. "Don't you _dare_ look down on me!"

His voice tremored with rage. Kakashi paused. "It's over, Naruto," the jounin said lazily, motioning to the alarm clock. "There's three minutes left, and you're not going to get a bell so why not just–"

"I said shut up!" Naruto screeched, quickly drawing a kunai and throwing it at Kakashi with all of his might. Kakashi had time to roll his eye before snatching the metal blade out of the air. Naruto was snarling with rage.

"Naruto, you–"

"Shut up!" Naruto bellowed. A vein bulged on his forehead. Suddenly, there were half a dozen shurikens in his hand and then they were all spinning at Kakashi. "You don't get to talk to talk down to me!"

The jounin deflected them all with ease. Naruto just screeched in fury and drew more. He barely even paused to aim, and then Naruto was hurling every kunai and shuriken he had, the air shimmering with metal.

Kakashi barely even needed to dodge the weapons. Naruto was just throwing blindly now. "Naruto, you're wasting ammunition now," Kakashi said irritably, just as metal star thudded into the trunk of a tree with a cloud of splinters.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Naruto screeched, as trembling hands unfastened more and more pockets on his jumpsuit. The orange jumpsuit held a lot of ammunition. _Perhaps I pushed him too far_ , Kakashi thought with a grimace, just as Naruto madly threw a hail of shurikens.

The metal stars twisted in the air. Kakashi easily sidestepped them, but he never looked behind him.

He never even noticed the figure approaching from behind until he heard the dull thud of impact.

* * *

Struggling, Hinata finally managed to break through the earthen bounds. The dry dirt broke off her wrists, and then she managed to drag herself out of the ground. Her heart was pounding frantically.

She was going to lose. That was the only thought that spiralled in her head. She wouldn't get a bell, and Kakashi would fail her. Her father would disown her, and exile her.

And Naruto would never even look at her again.

Hinata's hands trembled with pure panic. _I can't lose here_ , she thought frantically. I can't, I can't, I can't…

That was the only thing going through her mind as she stumbled to her feet and started running. She could hear Naruto screaming as he fought Kakashi. _I have to help_ , Hinata thought desperately. _I have to be there. Failure is not an opti–_

She never even had time to react as she saw the stray shuriken fly out of the clearing. There was a sickening crunch of metal through bone, and then a body dropped to the ground.

* * *

Dark blue hair. Cream jacket. Pale skin. Wide eyes. And a shuriken jutting out of her forehead.

Kakashi's eye widened in pure and utter fear as he saw Hinata crumple to her knees and collapse. Blood splattered onto the ground. All casual laziness was gone as Kakashi raced to catch her. He was there in a blur, but it was too late. The shuriken split straight through her skull. He could see her brain leaking onto the ground.

"No…" Kakashi gasped, hands tightening into fists. "No! No! _No!_ "

A stray shuriken. Hinata must have walked straight into its path. An accident. The thought made him sick. She wasn't even a teenager yet. A genin straight out school. And now Kakashi had to stand in front of the Hokage and her father and explain that he let her die…

He clutched her shoulders tightly, but he could tell without checking that Hinata was well and truly dead.

_She had been part of my team._

The thought brought back so, so many memories of the last time he had been in a team, and the last time he had let an innocent girl die…

For an instant, Kakashi was left completely and utterly paralysed. Vaguely, he was aware of Naruto rushing to his side.

Then, the sound of laughter cut him out of paralysis. Reeling in shock, Kakashi turned to stare at Naruto, who was laughing furiously as he clutched both the bells tightly. Kakashi hadn't even realised he took them.

"Got them!" Naruto shouted triumphantly. All previous anger was gone. Kakashi couldn't believe his eye as he saw Naruto's smile. " _Told_ you that I would get both of the bells!"

Kakashi's hands tightened into fists. All composure was gone. "Naruto, _what are you doing?!_ " He bellowed furiously. "Hinata is dea–"

His voice stopped as he looked to the edge of the clearing. Suddenly, he saw Hinata, standing completely unharmed, as she looked at the scene in front of her with utter shock. Kakashi's mouth dropped open.

For a few seconds, he didn't move. Then, Kakashi turned around towards the corpse of 'Hinata' and gently pulled her hair. The dark blue wig came off easily, revealing a mop of blond hair underneath. Kakashi's eye bulged.

It took the normally composed jounin a while just to form the words. "…This…" Kakashi stammered, pointing between the dead body and Naruto in dumb realisation. "…This is your _clone_!?"

"Yep!" Naruto said cheerfully, holding the bells tightly. "I just had to distract you while my clone ran back to Konoha and bought a dark blue wig and a change in clothes." He looked at the dead body curiously. "It's not a _perfect_ copy," Naruto admitted. "But I used a henge and, after that, you were too shocked to notice. That made it pretty easy to swipe the bells while you were distracted."

Kakashi was still trying to recover himself. In Naruto's hand, the two bells jingled happily. From the distance, Sasuke staggered out to stare at what was happening. Meanwhile, the alarm clock finally triggered, signalling that the bell test was over. The training ground was still stuck in stunned silence.

"But this was your _clone_ ," Kakashi said finally, lowering his voice as he looked at the dead Naruto. "You mean actually killed yourself just to get those bells?"

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, why not? I mean, he was only a clone. I could just make another one tomorrow." He paused slightly, and then grimaced as he rubbed his forehead sorely. "Don't me get wrong; it wasn't _pleasant_. I felt everything he felt, and it _hurt_. But still, Naruto-First agreed that it was the only way we were going to catch you off-guard, so he took one for the team."

Kakashi paused, trying to think. Around him, Sasuke and Hinata were staring between the dead Naruto dressed as Hinata, and then three unconscious Narutos lying on the ground. They must have seen Naruto's clones and assumed they were Shadow Clones, but now they were confused. Kakashi's fists tightened as he stared firmly at the two bells jingling in Naruto's hand.

Naruto had actually beaten the bell test.

 _This is wrong_ , Kakashi thought furiously. The whole point of the bell test was that the genin never got the bells. The principle didn't work otherwise. The bell test itself was a futile challenge designed to teach and test teamwork. The genins were _supposed_ to fail the first test.

"I've got both bells anyways," Naruto said eagerly; completely oblivious to the growing confusion of Sasuke and Hinata. "That means I pass, right?"

Kakashi's eye narrowed. _Ok, if you want to play it_ that _way_. "To pass, you need to get a single bell," Kakashi said coolly. "But you've _two_ bells there. You can't have a team of just one."

Naruto paused in realisation at what Kakashi meant. "Oh," he said dumbly, before shrugging. "Ok then, Hinata take this." Naruto casually threw a bell towards Hinata. She caught it easily, despite the blush rising up her cheeks. "You're pretty nice. I saw you try to help me, and I guess if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have caught Kakashi out."

Hinata never responded. Sasuke looked between Naruto and Hinata confusedly. Nobody spoke. Kakashi's eye was cold.

"Alright, I guess that solves that one," Kakashi said with frosty cheerfulness. "Congratulations, Hinata, Naruto, you two pass. I'll see you tomorrow." The jounin looked at Sasuke dismissively. "Sasuke, so sorry, but you fail. Tomorrow you're going back to the Academy."

* * *

There was a silence as Kakashi's words were slowly digested. Naruto's smile gradually disappeared. For a few seconds, Sasuke looked confused. And then, Sasuke felt the anger seeping through. He glared at Kakashi with furious eyes.

" _What?!_ " Sasuke bellowed, glancing between Naruto and Hinata, and then back to Kakashi. "You're choosing _them_ , over _me_?!"

The jounin just shrugged. "Hey, you knew the rules. Whoever has a bell passes, and you don't have a bell," he said simply. The jounin held his hands up in mock innocence.

"You can't do th–"

"Oh, but I can," Kakashi interjected coldly. "At the end of the day, the genin teams are solely the responsibility of the jounin supervisor. If I say you're out, then it's back to the Academy you go. Better luck next time, I guess."

For half a second, Sasuke was speechless. His face was red and his fists were constantly clenching and releasing. He looked ready to kill someone. Kakashi was as cool and as composed as ever.

Sasuke took a deep breath. "This is ridiculous! How could you possible choose –"

"Hey, _I_ didn't choose anyone," Kakashi said with a shrug. "If you want someone to thank, thank Naruto. _He's_ the one who chose Hinata over you."

Sasuke turned to glare at Naruto with mad, furious eyes. The blond haired genin floundered, speechless, growing more uncertain with every passing second. Kakashi just continued almost conversationally.

"I mean, Naruto, how _does_ it feel to have casually ruined Sasuke's ambition?" Kakashi asked pleasantly. "Sasuke here has been devoted to being a ninja for years, and, well, after getting rejected by one team… he might never actually get another chance again. He could be trapped as an Academy student for the rest of his life, which is _such_ a shame considering everything he aims to achieve. Hell, you might have just ruined Sasuke's life right then." His voice turned cold. "So, then Naruto, are you feeling proud of that _decision_?"

Nobody spoke. Naruto wasn't smiling triumphantly anymore. His face was pale as he stared at Sasuke uncertainly, all the while clutching his bell tightly.

Kakashi just shrugged. "Then _again_ …" The jounin continued. "I might be being too harsh here. After all, Hinata has a lot to lose as well." The young girl retreated slightly as Kakashi motioned to her. "If she fails here, I expect her father wouldn't be very happy at all. Her father has always had very high expectations of her. If she fails this genin exam, well, she might even be exiled from her clan. She might lose her whole family." Kakashi looked between Naruto and Sasuke curiously. "I'm sure you two boys would know _all_ about what it's like to not have a family."

The atmosphere turned tense. The three genin were staring at each other and Kakashi quietly. The jounin let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I'll tell you what…" Kakashi continued pleasantly. "…I'm probably being unfair. So _I'm_ going to go for a walk around the village, maybe grab some lunch, and I'll be back in about two hours, and while I'm gone, I'm going to let the three of you have a _really_ good think about who deserves to be a ninja the most. After all, there are only two bells."

He slowly started to stroll away, hands in pockets. Before Kakashi left, he paused, glancing back to his team. "When I get back…" Kakashi muttered quietly, his voice turning dark. "… I _expect_ to see two genin waiting with bells and one without. Whoever has a bell and whoever does not is entirely up to you. I will happily fail the whole group if I have to."

The jounin walked away. Nobody moved. After a few seconds, Sasuke turned to Naruto, with a dangerous scowl on his face. "Naruto," Sasuke murmured coldly. "You're going to give me that bell _right now_."

* * *

 _Oh crap_ , Naruto thought with panic as he stared at Sasuke's expression. The dark-haired genin quietly cracked his knuckles. Naruto's grip around the bell tightened. His three other clones were still unconscious, and it was just him vs Sasuke, one on one. The thought wasn't reassuring.

It was a while before anybody spoke. "Allow me to explain what's going to happen," Sasuke said finally, in a forcefully steady voice. His eyes blazed with dark anger. "You're going to quietly hand me that bell, and you're going to walk away."

"And why should I?" Naruto said defiantly, shifting his body weight slightly.

"Because if you don't," Sasuke replied in painful calmness. "I'm going to beat you bloody and then I'm going to take the bell. So save yourself some hurt and just hand it over."

"No!" Naruto snapped. "I got this bell fair and square, you arrogant jerk!"

Sasuke's eyes flared with anger. Hinata trembled nervously. "Um… we can't fight like this… let's just be reasonable!" She protested timidly.

"Oh, I am being reasonable here!" Sasuke retorted, his voice breaking with rage. "As matter of fact, I'm going to be so reasonable that I'm going to let you keep your bell, fine," he said motioning at Hinata. "I've got absolutely no problem with _you_ , Hinata. Instead, I'm going to take _his_ bell, because he's the dumb, dead-last waste of space around here!"

"Go to hell, jerk!" Naruto shouted loudly, pushing the bell safely into his pocket of his jumpsuit. "Why do you think you're so special, you pompous prick?!"

The last residual of Sasuke's composure vanished. " _Fuck you!_ " Sasuke bellowed. The intensity of statement caught Naruto off-guard. " _I'm_ special because _I'm_ the better ninja. _I'm_ special I spent all that time in classing _training_ and _studying_ to get better, while _you_ were goofing around. _I_ was the one who earned first place by actually working for it, while _you_ earned being dead-last by not doing a damn thing!"

The fury in Sasuke's voice stung. Naruto's fists clenched. "You don't know a damn thing!" Naruto screeched. "You're a stuck-up bastard who's had everything handed to him on a silver platter because you're the favourite!"

Naruto couldn't stop himself. There was too much adrenaline pounding through his body and his arm acted on its own. Suddenly, Naruto's fist shot out, catching Sasuke firmly on the chin. The dark-haired genin reeled backwards, but took the blow like a champ.

The next second, Sasuke's foot collided with Naruto's stomach and suddenly Naruto was flying backwards into the dirt.

" _You've got no idea what I've been through_ ," Sasuke growled through gritted teeth, standing over Naruto. "Don't you _dare_ think that you know me, because you haven't a got a clue. And you don't have any right to take my dream away from me."

The kick was so hard that Naruto could barely breathe. He was gasping for breath as he glared at Sasuke. "You're an obnoxious bastard with a stick stuck up his ass!" Naruto spat.

"And you're an irritating moron with absolutely no talent," Sasuke replied coolly. "But do you seriously hate me just because I'm _better_ than you are? What the hell does that say about you; that you would blame someone else rather than try to get better on your own?!"

"Shut up!" Naruto screamed, jumping up off the ground and swinging a wide uppercut at Sasuke. The other genin easily dodged, and retaliated with a quick swipe to Naruto's legs. In an instant, Naruto was face down in the dirt.

"Stop it!" Hinata screamed loudly, looking between Sasuke and Naruto uncertainly. She was clutching her bell with both hands. "Please, just stop it…!"

Sasuke didn't seem to hear her. "You're a _monkey_ that doesn't deserve to be here," Sasuke growled angrily at Naruto. "You think that just because you've got big words than that makes you a ninja?! Until you can support those words with actions, then you belong in the Academy with all the other little children. _That's_ why I'm going to take that bell off you."

Naruto's head was spinning as he staggered off the ground. Kakashi had been quite gentle with his ass-kicking, but Sasuke held nothing back.

"Don't talk down to me, bastard!" Naruto snarled, struggling for breath. "You're the one who is too stuck up to even look at anyone face to face!"

He launched himself at Sasuke with a wide kick, but Sasuke caught Naruto's leg by the ankle, and spun him around, sending him skidding into the dirt.

 _Goddamn it!_ Naruto cursed as he spat out dirt. In an instant, he remembered the reason why Sasuke got top marks in taijutsu all those years at the Academy.

"You seriously think that, don't you?" Sasuke muttered coldly. "You seriously think that it's me? Just tell me something; exactly how easy _was it_ to pass that bell to Hinata instead of me?"

Naruto didn't reply. He was still clutching his chest painfully. Sasuke stared at him darkly. "The truth is that you dismissed my whole life without a second thought," Sasuke muttered quietly, his eyes burning holes through Naruto. "So I'm just going to do exactly the same."

He raised his fist again. Naruto's body tensed, and suddenly he was charging straight into Sasuke. The dark-haired boy lashed out with a fleeting hook to Naruto's shoulder, but Naruto had momentum. He shoulder barged into Sasuke's chest, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

"Bastard!" Naruto screamed, elbowing Sasuke in the face as they rolled across the dirt together.

"Brat!" Sasuke snapped, kneeing Naruto in the stomach and trying to kick him away. Naruto held on tight and they both tumbled together.

"Prick!" Naruto spat, just as he slammed his head forward with bone-crunching force into Sasuke's face. His nose crunched, splattering blood everywhere. Sasuke yelped in pain.

" _Moron._ " Sasuke growled, before wrapping both hands together and whipping out in a devastating double-handed blow. He could feel the air being punched out of Naruto's lungs as his hands crashed into his stomach.

"That's enough!" The shrill voice caught them both by surprise. Suddenly, Hinata was between them, struggling as she pulled Naruto off Sasuke by the collar. "This isn't helping!"

Her voice had never been so strong. Her hands were trembling and the tears were rolling down her face, but her voice was louder than ever. Both Naruto and Sasuke were bruised and bloody, gasping for breath as they stared at her in surprise.

Hinata seemed to falter for a moment. "We can't do this," she said finally, quieter but without the stutter. "We're supposed to be a team. How are we ever meant to work together if this is how Team 7 starts off?"

Sasuke wiped his bloody nose as he staggered upwards. "I don't need a team," he snapped. "I can do just fine by myself."

She glared at him. "Then you're a moron," she retorted. Sasuke blinked at the unexpected insult. " _Everybody_ needs a team."

There was a pause. Hinata glanced back to Naruto, still struggling to stand up. "Everybody including Naruto," Hinata said quietly, her voice gentler.

The silence stretched out again. Naruto was bruised and gasping for breath, but he had stamina. Sasuke was blazing with fury, showing no sign of backing down. "I'm not leaving without a bell," Sasuke snarled.

Hinata's hands were trembling madly. She had to blink repeatedly to hold back the tears, but it wasn't working. She still kept on clutching the bell with both hands, as tightly as possible. Her heart was skipping with utter dread, but then she looked between Naruto and Sasuke and saw the defiance in both of their eyes. Somehow, they both looked similar.

"Fine," Hinata said, gulping in fear. "You want a bell?" With great force of will, she pulled the bell out of her own grasp and threw it at Sasuke's feet. "Here, take mine."

Sasuke blinked in surprise. Naruto gasped. "Hinata, don't!" He shouted, instantly concerned.

Hinata simply shook her head. The tears were pouring down her cheeks and she didn't trust herself to speak. Nightmares of what her father would say flashed in front of her eyes.

"Take your bell back!" Naruto demanded, before turning to Sasuke. "Give her back her bell!"

"No, I don't want it," Hinata whimpered quietly.

Sasuke didn't respond. For a moment, the dark-haired genin looked lost. "Sasuke, give Hinata her bell!" Naruto ordered. "She doesn't deserve to fail!"

"And neither does Sasuke!" Hinata snapped. Naruto had never known her voice to be so sharp before. Their eyes met, and Hinata's voice turned softer. "And neither do you…"

No one spoke. Naruto looked between the two genin in confusion, before turning to stare at his own bell. The anger and tension building up inside of him was unbearable. Naruto felt like tearing out his own hair in frustration. He had to scream just to let the pressure out, pounding his fist against the earth with a dull thud.

For a long moment, nothing happened. Naruto couldn't afford to fail. He had dreamt for so long about being a ninja, it was all he had ever wanted. He didn't think he could take having to go back to the Academy. He refused to fail this test.

But he couldn't pass it either. Not like this.

Naruto clutched the bell so tightly it hurt. Strangely, the image of Iruka flashed before his eyes; smiling gently as the older man jumped in front of shuriken to save his life…

"Argh!" Naruto screamed, before turning to point at Sasuke angrily. "Sasuke! You're an arrogant, self-righteous prick and I have wanted to punch you _right in the face_ since the moment we met! You've got no idea what it's been like, trying to compare to the 'Great Uchiha'!"

Sasuke's lip curdled. "And you're an irritating, immature man-child that I've severely wanted to repeatedly _slap_ ," Sasuke retorted. He paused slightly. "And you've got no idea how hard is, trying to keep up with what everyone expects you to be."

"Fine," Naruto growled angrily. "So how about we both just accept that neither of us knows a damn thing about the other one?"

There was a pause. Naruto's hands were twitching. "But I suppose we've got to learn," he muttered, very quietly under his breath.

Naruto took a deep breath, and then threw his bell towards Sasuke. Suddenly, there were two bells lying on the ground at Sasuke's feet. Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise.

"It's your choice now," Naruto muttered quietly, defiantly folding his arms as he glared at Sasuke.

* * *

Kakashi was honestly not sure what to expect as he ambled casually back towards the training ground. He was actually twitching with nerves as he thought through all the possibilities. He was a trained jounin; he had been through wars and fought countless battles against the odds, but he was actually _nervous_ with the thought of what he would find back at the training ground.

Team 7 had so much potential. That was one thing Kakashi was absolutely certain about. The only question was whether they would ever be able to use it.

For once, Kakashi wasn't late as he returned to the training grounds. It was early afternoon by the time he came back, and it had been exactly two hours since he had left.

Kakashi hadn't known what to expect, but he certainly hadn't counted on seeing all three members of Team 7 huddled together in a circle, each of them holding a set of cards in their hands. Naruto and Sasuke were both bloody and bruised, but no one was arguing or trying to kill each other. It took a while for Kakashi to register the sight. _They were playing poker_ , he thought dumbly. _They were actually all playing poker together._ He wondered briefly where they got the cards.

The genins saw him coming, but didn't turn their attention away from the poker game. Kakashi approached slowly. "Hello there," he said casually to his team.

They each muttered various forms of 'hey', but never even glanced up at him. Apparently, it was quite an intense poker match they were having. Bemusedly, Kakashi took a seat by the poles and waited.

Nobody paid him any attention. After a few minutes, Kakashi finally had to ask. "So then," Kakashi questioned loudly. "Who here has the bells?"

They glanced upwards, but no one responded straight away. "Hmm?" Kakashi pressed. "Anyone?"

Naruto frowned in mock confusion. "I thought Hinata had them?"

She shook her head. "Really? I was pretty certain you took them," she said loudly, with just a glimmer of a smile playing on her lips.

"No," Naruto argued. "I'm pretty sure I gave both of them to you."

"Huh," Hinata said dismissively. "I guess I gave them to Sasuke then."

Three sets of eyes turned to stare at Sasuke. The dark-haired boy just shrugged nonchalantly.

"I don't know," Sasuke said simply, scratching his head. "I must have dropped them somewhere. They didn't seem that important, anyways."

The three genin returned to their poker game. Kakashi looked between them curiously. He wondered about pushing the subject further, but then decided against it. Kakashi had already gotten the result he was really after.

"Alright then," Kakashi said with a shrug. Slowly, the jounin stood up and started to walk away. "I guess I'll see you all tomorrow at eight, then."

"We'll be there at ten!" Sasuke yelled loudly, before turning back to the game.

They might not have been able to tell, but underneath his mask Kakashi was grinning from ear to ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like this chapter; I spent a long time trying to get it right. Please tell me what you think.
> 
> This Team 7 is going to have a completely different dynamic. With the addition of Hinata, the group is a bit less volatile and I think she's a good balance between Naruto's and Sasuke's personalities. Small changes and everything building up quickly.
> 
> Quick point to the people asking why I replaced Sakura with Hinata: It wasn't to do with Hinata's bloodline, really, I just figured that the teams made a lot more sense that way. Really, Sakura would probably be better off in Kurenai's group anyways; Sakura has always had a talent for fine chakra control like genjutsu and medical jutsu, and Kurenai would be better teacher for that. Likewise, Hinata is a close-combat specialist, so she would probably benefit more from Kakashi as well. Even their personalities just seem to fit better in their respective groups.


	5. I'm a Ninja Now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Does anyone have any more hostages I can borrow?

Kakashi strolled casually down the street towards the Hokage Tower, his head buried deeply in 'Come Come Paradise' as he walked. Quite a few pedestrians recognised the cover and gave the jounin dirty looks, while mothers rushed their children out of his path, but Kakashi didn't care.

 _Honestly_ , Kakashi mused, grinning under his mask as he read the vivid descriptions; _what is the point of being an elite ninja if you_ couldn't _publically read porn in the middle of the day as you walked down a busy street?_

The guards at the gate were more used to Kakashi's behaviour; they only just rolled their eyes as Kakashi walked by wordlessly. Kakashi had an abundance of respect in the ninja community, particularly among the Anbu, and it was testament to his skill that not even his personality could diminish it.

The Hokage Tower was bustling with people. This close after the graduation, the tower was heaving with new genin teams reporting for assignments, or instructors handing in their evaluation reports, or complaints from irritated clans and parents. There was so much paperwork and administration involved in the team assignments that it was a wonder that the clerks didn't drown in bureaucracy.

Still, for some reason, the Hokage was sitting at the front of desks, handing out assignments and filing reports with all the other clerks. Sarutobi was an immensely powerful and respected ninja; he certainly didn't have to do such a grunt job personally, but nevertheless the Third insisted. Sarutobi enjoyed staying involved with the day-to-day activities of the village, particularly where the next generation of ninjas were concerned.

"Kakashi!" An irritated voice shouted at the jounin. Kakashi looked up from his book unwillingly, to see Kurenai scowling at him. "Would you put that away?" She scolded, glaring at his orange book. "There are _children_ present."

There were not many people that still bothered to try and tell Kakashi to put his books away. Even the Hokage had resigned himself to that particular tendency of Kakashi's. Kurenai was a new jounin, though; she was undoubtedly talented and experienced and one of the best genjutsu experts in Konoha, but she had still yet to accept the madness that came with being an elite ninja. All jounin were allowed to be eccentric, unusual or just plain weird in some way or another – it was a perk afforded by being incredibly dangerous.

Still, Kakashi just shrugged and dropped the slender book into his pocket. The red eyed, white robed and dark haired genjutsu master was surrounded by her new genin team, clearly coming to pick out assignments. In the background, Sakura was arguing with Kiba, while Shino was as stoic as only an Aburame could be.

"Kurenai," Kakashi greeted, looking at her bemusedly. "How are you?"

"Fine," she replied coolly. "Just picking out assignments. You're alone – does that mean you've failed yet _another_ team?"

His eye grinned. "No, actually they did quite well. Team 7 is in active duty."

"Really? Now there's a surprise. It's been a long time since you've actually passed a team," Kurenai glanced around, looking through the bustle of ninjas. "So where are they?"

"Still recovering." Kakashi shrugged.

"The bell test _again_?" There was just a hint of criticism in her voice.

"The bell test is a classic!" Kakashi protested, but good-naturedly.

"It drives a wedge through teams! It is unfair and overly brutal to the participants."

Kakashi chuckled. "Well, how do _you_ test them, then?"

"A written aptitude test, followed by individual one-on-one physical examination, and then a _structured_ teamwork challenge," she replied promptly, looking pointedly at Kakashi. "You know, exams that can actually _accurately_ and _quantifiably_ judge a genin's performance."

"Not everything can be measured by exams." Kakashi shrugged. "Sometimes you've just got to throw them into a situation and see if a team comes out of it."

In the background there was a sudden bark, followed by a yelp. Sakura had just kicked Kiba in the shin, and the two of them were still squabbling over a sheet of paper. Kurenai turned quickly. "Enough!" The jounin ordered firmly. "Sakura, Kiba, Shino, please leave the room. If you can't act sensibly then you can wait outside while I'll select the missions for you."

There was a brief protest, mainly from Kiba, but Kurenai left no room for argument. They handed over the sheets of paper to her, and then turned around to leave. As the three genin trundled out of the room, Kurenai turned back to Kakashi, looking slightly unhappy.

"Kiba has a difficult personality, and Sakura needs development. Shino is quite stoic, but he doesn't interact with the others easily," Kurenai explained simply to Kakashi. "All three of them are talented enough, though. How is your team?"

"Challenging," Kakashi conceded. He paused, before adding, "So much potential, though."

"Hmm," Kurenai glanced through the sheets of paper she was holding. Each of them showed a date, a task, and a reward. The majority of the genin in the room were milling around the desks as the clerks handed out similar sheets of paper. "You know," Kurenai commented. "If you're here to collect missions then you should really bring your whole team with you. You should be quick too; it won't be long before all of the good D-rank missions are gone and you're left with the bad ones."

"I hope so," Kakashi said with a shake of his head. "I'm not here to collect any of the good missions. I want to reserve a few of the bad ones."

Kurenai raised her eyebrows. "The _bad_ ones?" she repeated. "You mean like painting fences, babysitting, or cleaning the monument…?

"Yep," Kakashi said cheerfully. The D-rank missions were like an assorted box of chocolates; some of them were interesting, enjoyable or even challenging, and then there were all the _others_. Generally, you had to get there early for any of the good missions, but Kakashi always came late. He paused. "Say, do you know if Tora the cat has escaped recently? That one would be perfect."

Kurenai stared at him incredulously. Tora, the abused cat of the Fire Daimyo's wife, had a reputation for torturing whatever genin team unlikely enough to get the mission to search for it. "Are you _trying_ to torture your team?" She asked finally.

"We clearly have different teaching methods," Kakashi said simply.

"Except your methods are silly," Kurenai replied critically, placing her hand on her hip. It was no secret that she thought that he was a poor teacher. "Tell me, what techniques are you actually planning on teaching your genin?"

"Teaching?" Kakashi mused on the question for a while before answering. He scratched his mask absentmindedly. "Absolutely nothing."

Kurenai looked at him doubtfully. Kakashi just shrugged and continued. "There's absolutely nothing they actually need to learn," he explained.

"You don't think that individual training is important?"

"Of course it is. It's vital," Kakashi retorted. "But it's not the _most_ vital thing, not at this stage at least. Right now, my team has a terrible dynamic. They need proper connections with their teammates before they can start proceeding individually. _Team-work_ is the most critical thing to teach them, and I'm not going to train their individual skills at all until they've got that sorted. I need them to establish that group dynamic because _that's_ what they're lacking more than anything."

"So you're basically going to give them the worst of the worst of the D-rank missions until they act as a group?" Kurenai asked incredulously.

"Basically." Kakashi nodded. "Every group has start from somewhere. Bonding over meaningless missions seems like as good a time as any."

Kurenai sighed. She remembered some of the D-ranks missions she had been saddled with as a genin. Some had been so horrifyingly boring she had nearly went insane, and some had been so infuriating that really had gone insane for a while. Those unlucky genin were the ones left hunting for missing cats or babysitting spoilt toddlers for days.

"Those poor genin," Kurenai muttered with an exaggerated shiver, before sorting out her pile of papers and turning towards the door.

Kakashi just chuckled as Kurenai straightened out her papers heading to the door. "You have your teaching methods, and I have mine," Kakashi commented, just before she left.

She rolled her eyes just before she left to meet up with her team. Kakashi spent a few seconds standing still, quietly thinking over the conversation. Then, he headed towards one of the desks and ruffled through the papers. He found the one he wanted right at the very bottom of the pile.

"Ah, _Tora_ ," he said cheerfully, discreetly folding the paper and pushing it to one side. "Perfect."

* * *

True to the team's agreement, it was ten before Naruto finally decided to head towards the training ground. All of his clones were so battered and bruised that the majority of them were still resting up. Kakashi might have just been toying with him during their spar, but the bruises were still very real. Even after his clones had awoken, they still had been so exhausted they had to stagger back to the apartment.

Instead, only a single Naruto was left to head towards the meeting, and he couldn't help but be slightly anxious. Yesterday had been a flurry of shouting and fighting. Even after Naruto had surrendered his bell, he and Sasuke continued to argue. It had been nearly an hour until Sasuke finally decided to call Kakashi's bluff, and throw both bells in the river.

The 'poker game' had been a complete bluff of its own. Naruto couldn't quite remember who suggested the idea, but the team had just wanted to appear nonchalant for when Kakashi returned. Pretending to play poker had been a good way for them to do that, but Naruto doubted if the members of the team had even said two words to each other for the rest of the day.

Overall, it had been an exhausting and bloody evaluation. Naruto still felt a tingling from throwing a shuriken through his clone's forehead. Not to mention having a front row seat when Kakashi used his Anbu gear to unceremoniously dissolve the deceased clone, which had been an experience that showed up in his nightmares.

Mind, the memory of Sasuke; face flushed, eyes angry and screaming at the top of his lungs, was still at the forefront of Naruto's mind. The memory still caused Naruto to pause.

 _Apparently Sasuke-jerk actually has feelings_ , Naruto realised dumbly, and it was a revelation that nearly blew his mind. _Who would have guessed it?_

At the training ground, Sasuke was there waiting, standing stoically by a tree. His arms were folded, clothes dark and impeccable, leaning backwards and every bit as composed as always. Still, maybe there was just a flicker of emotion in his eyes as he saw Naruto approach.

For a few seconds, Naruto wondered whether he should say something. After a moment's hesitation, Naruto realised that he honestly had no idea what to say. Instead, he just sat on the ground at the edge, not quite at the opposite side of the clearing.

The training ground was silent. Naruto shifted uncomfortably. After a couple of minutes, Sasuke finally spoke.

"Naruto," Sasuke said slowly. His voice was measured, low, and deliberately unaggressive. "What was that clone technique that you used yesterday?"

Naruto paused. "Um…" He hesitated as he thought back to the Hokage's warning. "…I'm not allowed to say."

Another awkward pause. Sasuke expression just darkened and he wordlessly just leant backwards. Naruto was half-expecting some outburst, or a demand for information, but instead the quiet, brooding silence was somehow even more annoying. The arrogant scowl on Sasuke's face sent spikes cutting through Naruto's spine.

"Bastard," Naruto muttered, not quite under his breath. The atmosphere darkened further.

A few minutes later, Hinata arrived. The interruption was a welcome distraction from the broody silence. "Hinata!" Naruto greeted cheerfully. "You're here!"

The lavender-haired girl blushed furiously, hiding her face in her collar as she muttered something that sounded vaguely like a greeting. Hinata glanced between Sasuke, Naruto, and then back down at her feet.

A few awkward stabs at conversation later, and Naruto finally gave up. Kakashi was almost an hour after that, by which time Naruto was almost pulling his hair out in impatience. Naruto had never been very good at staying still for any length of time.

"About time!" Naruto screamed angrily.

Kakashi held up his hands innocently. "Hey, don't say it like that. _You're_ the ones that were late," he said smugly. " _I_ was here at eight."

The simple statement sent various degrees of irritation through the genin. Naruto looked ready to explode, except the words jammed in his throat. Of course there was no way to proof that Kakashi was lying – they hadn't been present. Even despite the jounin's mask, Naruto could just tell that Kakashi was grinning.

"Right then, let's get started," Kakashi said cheerfully, patting Naruto on the shoulder. "I took the liberty of selecting out your missions for the rest of the day."

"Missions?" Naruto said quickly, instantly alert. "We get missions?"

"Yep." Kakashi nodded. "You're ninjas – you collect mission, you hand in the completed assignment, and you get paid for your efforts. I've even picked out three different missions for you. I figured since this was your first time, you should have a choice on which one you want."

The grin spread over Naruto's face slowly. Thoughts of hunting bandits and rescuing princesses flickered through his head. Even Sasuke looked interested. Kakashi just looked at their responses in turn, smiling with his visible eye.

"Brilliant," he said cheerfully, before pulling out a wad of official looking papers. Naruto's heart was like a drumroll. "Ok, then, your choices are…" He leaved through the papers slowly. "…we can either…" He paused for a bit longer, just to stretch out the moment. "…paint a local merchant's fence… or… look after an old lady and picking up her shopping… or… Oh! We could search for the Fire Daimyo's wife's missing cat! Which do you prefer?"

Nobody said a word. They all looked frozen in place. _Oh, I wish I had a camera_ , Kakashi mused happily, watching the tremors in Naruto's jaw.

Kakashi looked between the three genin expectantly. "No preference?" He continued conversationally, before putting two of the papers away. "Alright then, let's go with the old lady." _It's probably best I leave Tora for a while,_ Kakashi decided _; it would give the cat some time to become_ really _territorial_. "Come on then, my cute little genin, your mission awaits."

The statement seemed to shake Naruto out of his daze. "Wait a second!" Naruto shouted suddenly. "Those aren't missions! They're… _chores_!"

"Well… yeah," Kakashi said with a shrug. "What you were expecting?"

His mouth dropped open. "But we're ninjas, we can't–"

"You've been ninjas for all of a few days," Kakashi noted. "Somebody's got to do the menial chores, and, sorry, but you're at the bottom of the chain right now. So, anyways, let's go our meet our client. I hear she's eighty-one years old, so be nice."

"But… but… but…!" Naruto stammered uselessly. Hinata followed Kakashi meekly. Sasuke looked just as shocked as Naruto was, but he just was a lot more stoic with his outrage.

For a few seconds, Naruto and Sasuke both stood completely still, watching the jounin walk away. Then, they both turned to stare at each, moodily cross their arms, and walked reluctantly after him.

The first mission went quite well, Kakashi thought, all things considered. He never actually took part, of course, he was too busy reading his book, but from what he saw everything went nicely. The client was an old and very sweet lady living by herself, with whole list of chores that she needed help with.

Hinata did very well. Kakashi had half-expected her to be as stuck-up as the rest of her clan, but if anything the young girl just seemed happy to help. She talked with the old lady quite amicably, did every task she was assigned and then more, and overall just made the old woman feel a bit better. Kakashi casually made a note on his form to give Hinata a bit of bonus, just for the extra effort.

Naruto and Sasuke, on the other hand, were much more difficult. Sasuke was probably the worst. He had barely even started scraping the grime off the roof before coming to demand a more meaningful task. Kakashi never even glanced up from his book as Sasuke tried to argue with him, and eventually the dark-haired boy stormed off angrily.

Naruto managed to do the grocery shopping and then the dishes, before finally breaking down after he was asked to unplug the drains. Kakashi could practically see Naruto's fuse shortening with every minute.

"This is pointless!" Naruto screamed finally, slamming the hands onto the counter. "I'm a _ninja_ now, this is just meaningless!"

Kakashi shrugged and didn't look up. "It's not meaningless to the client," he said simply.

"Then why aren't you are helping?" Naruto demanded. The jounin was just sitting cross-legged on the sofa, reading his book while the three genin worked around him.

"Not my job," Kakashi replied.

Naruto scoffed. "Well then, I shouldn't have to do it either!" He said firmly, folding his arms and slamming the rubber gloves on to his desk. "I'm not doing another chore!"

"Ok," Kakashi said with another shrug. "You're welcome to leave, if you want." He absentmindedly turned to the page , before glancing briefly at Naruto. "Just be sure to hand in that head-protector before you go."

There was a pause. The meaning of the statement started to sink in. Naruto's triumphant grin slowly faded. After a couple of minutes, he picked up the rubber gloves again. Kakashi kept on reading.

It was late evening by the time they were done. Afterwards, their client kindly offered all of the ninjas some cake as a reward, and Kakashi impressed them all by somehow managing to eat a whole slice without removing his mask. Hinata was quiet, but she still seemed more comfortable. Both Naruto and Sasuke were both in a bad mood by that time; neither of them even touched their cake, but Kakashi was happy to take their slices.

 _You are never too good of a ninja to turn down free cake_ , Kakashi thought firmly.

Team 7 headed back to the Hokage Tower to get their reward. Kakashi split up the money evenly, with a little bonus towards Hinata. Naruto was a bit happier after receiving the money, but Sasuke didn't seem to care at all.

"The mission is over," the dark-haired boy said firmly. "Are you going to _train_ us now?"

"Oh?" Kakashi said in surprise. It was already close to dusk. "Really? It's a bit late. Are you sure you want to?"

"Yes," Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

Kakashi shrugged. "Alrighty then," he said cheerfully as he turned to walk towards the training ground. Both Sasuke and Naruto were nearly jogging impatiently. Hinata followed from behind. "First things first; you guys need to warm-up. Do… let's say… four dozen suicide runs around the training ground."

A vein throbbed in Sasuke's temple. " _What?_ " Naruto exclaimed loudly.

"You heard me. From here, to that tree up there," Kakashi said, pointing out the course. "You need to build up stamina before you can learn anything. Suicide runs are a great way to do that."

"We don't need stamina training!" Sasuke snarled, hands clenched at his sides.

"Come on, it's _all_ training," he glanced at their expressions curiously. Hinata wasn't showing much, but both Sasuke and Naruto looked irritated. "Tell you what," Kakashi said reasonably. "If you do the suicide runs, then I'll teach you one of my special, top-secret, completely unique ninjutsu techniques."

Sasuke glared at him suspiciously. Naruto didn't look convinced either. "Top-secret?" Naruto asked sceptically.

"Yep," Kakashi promised. "I can absolutely guarantee that no one else in the village knows the technique I'm about to show you."

Quietly and with one last glare, Sasuke took off running in a blinding sprint. Naruto hesitated slightly, but he refused to let Sasuke beat him and then chased after Sasuke with a furious charge. Hinata was much more reserved, silently running behind them in a more composed pace.

Kakashi pulled out his book once more, sat on the ground, and started to read. _Ah… genin…_ He mused silently. _I forgot how much fun they were…_

An hour later, Sasuke collapsed at the finish line. The Uchiha was gasping and sweating heavily, yet still glaring angrily at Kakashi. Not long after, Naruto staggered after him. In truth, Naruto wasn't as fast as Sasuke, but he still managed to keep up with pure grit and stamina. Both boys seemed to share a common hatred for Kakashi at that moment.

Then, ten minutes later, Hinata arrived in a measured sprint. The Hyuuga was exhausted too and the last to arrive, but had paced herself better and still managed to recover almost as fast as Naruto.

"Brilliant," Kakashi said pleasantly, closing his book. "You're done. As promised, I will now teach you a new technique."

They crowded around, still panting heavily. "Behold…" Kakashi said dramatically, placing his hands together. "…The One Thousand Years of Death!"

Naruto's shot up straight, grinning eagerly. Sasuke looked completely focused and attentive. Hinata frowned as she watched closely. Kakashi slowly demonstrated.

"Now then… first… you form the Tiger seal," Kakashi explained, showing the movement clearly. "…And then you crouch down…" He exaggerated each action in comical slowness. "...Take a deep breath, focus your concentration… and then…!" He paused. The genins watched him intently, leaning in closer.

"You slam both fingers up into your opponent's ass!"

Naruto's head went so far forward that he toppled and slammed face first into the earth. Sasuke started twitched. Hinata blushed so bright red her brain might have overheated. Kakashi just grinned, already standing up. "Like I said, completely unique," he explained brightly. "And one hundred percent effective!"

Nobody moved. Kakashi glanced around. "Well then…" He said after a slight pause. "Have fun. Don't practice too hard."

With that, the jounin turned around and walked away. Sasuke was still twitching. It took a while for any of them to snap out of it. Finally, Naruto managed to come to his senses. He looked incredulously at the jounin walking away quickly, and screamed.

" _WHAAATTT?!_ "

 _Oh, genin are fun_ , Kakashi thought fondly.

* * *

It was dark as Team 7 finally started to head home. They were all exhausted, irritated and moody, still mentally cursing Kakashi to various degrees. Hinata was so tired that she didn't have the energy to be nervous around Naruto anymore, and neither did Sasuke seem to object to the other's presence as they all walked quietly towards the village.

"Good night," Hinata muttered sleepily, heading towards the Hyuuga compound. Nearly five minutes passed before Naruto realised that that was first thing she had ever said to him without blushing.

Later, just before both boys were about to go their separate ways, Naruto recalled the first conversation they had today. He felt a twinge of sudden regret.

"Hey," Naruto said, his voice free of any aggravation. Sasuke turned, cautiously. "…About my clone technique… it's actually a type of bloodline," Naruto admitted quietly. "It's a bit of secret, so don't spread it around."

Sasuke paused, hesitantly, and then nodded. Without another word, they both just walked away. Naruto was so tired that he collapsed into bed as soon as he entered the door. Fortunately, he had other clones to take over from him for tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning, Team 7 had to paint a fence. This time, there weren't as many arguments, just reluctant acceptance. Sasuke glared daggers at Kakashi the whole time, but the jounin didn't seem to care. It was fine if they hated their instructor, so long as they got along with each other.

Actually, Kakashi noticed curiously, the genin did seem a bit more at ease with each other. Hinata was a bit less timid in their casual interactions, Sasuke didn't bristle so much around them, and Naruto seemed slightly more reserved. They weren't friendly, not even slightly, but they were just bit more… comfortable with each other.

As far the jounin was concerned, that was a win.

The assignment didn't last as long as the previous one, but it was more boring. When they once again collect their pay, Sasuke once more demanded that Kakashi had to teach them something.

Once more, Kakashi told them they had to do the suicide runs first. This time, however, both Sasuke and Naruto were in complete agreement as refused, point-blank, to do anymore suicide runs.

And so, Kakashi just walked away without teaching them a thing.

* * *

The next day, the Naruto clones had to draw straws to decide who was going to go with Team 7 today. That unlucky clone was pretty much left by himself while the others went to do something more interesting.

They all went their different ways. Naruto had been warned not to draw attention to his clones, so he made sure to keep the clones separate. One of them went to eat ramen, the other went shopping, and the final one decided to try and train by himself.

Training was harder than it sounded. Naruto knew the basic Academy taijutsu moves, but he had been through them so many times that it felt pointless. He could do E-rank jutsu, barely, but his chakra control was absolutely horrendous and he had no idea how to improve it. Kakashi was obviously not going to teach his team any jutsu anytime soon, so that left Naruto at square one.

He spent a while thinking on where he could find an instructor. The Hokage wouldn't help him, and Iruka would be too busy. Naruto had a free body, a whole day, and absolutely no idea how to fill it. He stared blankly at his old Academy scrolls, willing them to make more sense.

 _This is ridiculous!_ Naruto thought angrily. His head was aching from constantly rereading the scrolls. _How the hell am I ever meant to be Hokage like this?_

It took him a while before inspiration struck. _Hmm…_ Naruto thought carefully. _There might be one way I could find someone to teach me…_

The training grounds were at the edge of the village. There were several, assigned primarily to the different genin teams, although there were a few open ones. Other teams used private or clan training grounds, which Naruto couldn't reach, but the village training grounds were more or less public. He had seen Teams 8 and 10 head there occasionally.

 _I doubt intruders are encouraged_ , Naruto admitted to himself; _but I don't think they're actually forbidden either_. Either way, Naruto was bored/desperate enough to give it a shot.

At once, he left his apartment and dashed towards the village. The training grounds were huge and nobody really seemed to pay him any attention, but he approached cautiously. Most of the teams there he didn't recognise, but then he glimpsed Sakura's pink hair in the distance.

He found Team 8 huddled into the corner of a large field. Kurenai was in the centre of the group, surrounded by Sakura, Shino and Kiba, giving an explanation about something. Naruto doubted that any jounin would welcome eavesdroppers – there was an element of competition between the teams after all, and Naruto really didn't want to have to explain himself, so he edged in as close as he dared to listen in on what Kurenai was saying.

She was talking about chakra control, but that was all Naruto managed to pick up on. He spent ten minutes straining to hear, before deciding it was too boring to be helpful, and moving on.

Naruto couldn't find Team 10 anywhere. The other teams in the grounds were either sparring or kunai training, but there was nothing that was really helpful. He spent nearly an hour creeping through undergrowth separating the fields, feeling more and more useless, before finally he came on upon a team of experienced genin, possibly close to becoming chunin, that were practicing some kind of ninjutsu. Naruto heard the crackle of lightning long before saw where it was coming from, but as approached his heart started to race.

"Whoa…" Naruto muttered in awe, watching the genin practice. They were gathering crackling lightning in the palm of their hand, and it looked like they were trying to fire it and the targets. Naruto slowly started to grin. "… _Lightning jutsu_ …!"

The genin themselves were having trouble with the technique. They were at the edge of the field, next to the small forest, and Naruto managed to get quite close while hiding in the bushes. He spent a long time trying to decipher the hand seals they were making, and memorising each movement intently.

He was just close enough to hear snatches of what their instructor was saying. "…Focus it! Just like the paper…!" The instructor ordered, barely audible over the crackle of electricity. "… Pulse the lightning in to a… Remember, lightning has to _flow_ …!"

Naruto watched for a long time. Cautiously, he retreated into the forest to try it himself. "Ok…" Naruto muttered, closing his eyes as he tried to focus his chakra. It felt like trying to steer a cruise ship. "Let's try this… I think it's… Monkey… Dragon… Bird…"

He performed the three seals carefully. Nothing happened. His chakra didn't even fizzle. Naruto frowned in annoyance, trying to remember it exactly. "… Hmm…" He growled. "Maybe it's Monkey… Dragon… Snake…?"

Again, there was no result. Naruto had to creep back to check, but even several attempts later he had gotten nowhere. Somehow, the ninja were managing to gather lightning in their palm, while Naruto was failing miserably at every combination he tried.

The hours passed slowly in frustrated failure. _Even my clone with Kakashi is achieving more than I am now_ , Naruto thought angrily.

"Dammit!" Naruto cursed as nothing happened. His chakra just wasn't doing what he wanted it to do. He didn't notice the footsteps approaching from behind as he attempted the hand seals sequence once more. "Come on, work!"

Nothing happened. Naruto sighed, before gathering chakra again. "…Alright… Monkey… Dragon… _Bird_!" He thrust hand out dramatically. There wasn't even a fizzle. "Do something already!" Naruto snapped, staring at his palm intently and willing it to spark. He tried slamming his hand repeatedly on the ground. " _Work!_ "

A few minutes later, he had resorted to swinging his hand around and making crackling noises under his breath, just so he could pretend. That was the point when laughter burst out from behind him, and Naruto spun around, red-faced.

There was someone standing right behind him, watching his efforts intently. Naruto instinctively tried to hide his hand behind his back, guiltily.

If there had been another of his clones around, then Naruto would have slapped himself.

His watcher was a ninja; another genin, by the looks of her, young, not that much older than Naruto himself, with brown hair fastened into two buns, a round face with a bemused expression. She was wearing a pink sleeveless vest with dark trousers.

"Um…" Naruto muttered uncertainly. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Longer than you would like," she replied, a smile still playing on her lips. "Are you having fun there?"

He looked down at that ground and mumbled something incoherently. The girl glanced towards where the other genin were still practicing with the lightning jutsu.

"Did you know that a lot of ninjas are really sensitive about technique copycats?" She said, a hint of teasing in her voice. "A lot of ninjas have their trademark techniques, and it's _really_ bad form to steal them. I think it's even illegal among allies, actually."

"Are you going to report me?" Naruto asked nervously, eyes wide.

She snorted. "No. You're not just _good_ enough at jutsu-swiping to be reported for it." She grinned brightly. "Besides, _that_ jutsu is pretty the most basic lightning technique around. If you really wanted to learn it, then why not just go to the library and have a look at the scroll?"

Naruto's mouth dropped open. "We have a _library_?" He said incredulously.

The girl burst out in to giggles. "Oh dear," she muttered, rolling her eyes playfully.

The blond couldn't help but look sheepish, but he was smiling too. In the distance, there was spark as the genin succeeded in firing off a bolt of lightning. The girl glanced around curiously.

"Besides," she commented idly. "You'd be wasting your time trying to learn that jutsu."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Why? It looks so cool!"

"Well, sure it does," she admitted. "But it's also pointless. Look at how _long_ it takes them to gather up the chakra. Look at the rubbish range they've got with that attack. There's no accuracy with a lightning bolt. They've got no talent with Lightning Release, they're just trying to learn it because they think it looks 'cool'. If they ever tried to use that technique in a real fight, then they'd better hope their opponents laugh themselves to death."

"I don't get it," Naruto said confusedly.

She sighed. "In the time it takes them to perform that jutsu, you could throw a kunai much faster. A kunai would have better range, better accuracy, and it'd be easier." She shrugged. "Why _bother_ with a complicated jutsu when a kunai is just so much more effective? That's what a lot of people don't understand; there's no point in learning a jutsu just for the sake of it."

"Oh." Naruto frowned. "I guess that makes sense. It's just that–"

"It's not as 'cool'," the girl agreed. "But ninjas aren't meant to be _flashy_."

The girl seemed to hesitate, pausing to think about that statement. "Ok, _most_ ninjas aren't," she conceded after a while. "Though I admit that there a few jounin that seem confused about the basic principles."

They both grinned. "What's your name?" Naruto asked finally.

"Tenten," she introduced. "Yours?"

"Naruto," he said awkwardly. Meeting new people didn't generally go well for him, but his reputation didn't seem to mean anything to her. She must have been only a few years older than him, max, but he couldn't remember ever meeting her at the Academy. _That was probably for the best_ , he thought bitterly.

"Hey Naruto," Tenten said politely, holding out her hand. Naruto shook it. "You're a new genin, I'm guessing. Who's your instructor?"

"Kakashi Hatake."

She winced. "Oh, I'm sorry."

The statement made Naruto burst out laughing. Tenten smiled. "Hehe… thanks."

"Mind, Kakashi _is_ a good ninja. I've met him a few times," Tenten continued reassuringly. "He's just a bit… um… weird sometimes, but I guess it's a genin's job to work around that. Believe me; I know a thing or two about weird instructors." It looked like she had to suppress a shudder with that last statement.

 _This is the most normal conversation I've had in weeks_. The thought hit Naruto like a hammer. It felt so weird having a friendly conversation with someone that for a second Naruto wasn't sure how to proceed. He hesitated slightly.

Tenten didn't seem to notice. "If you want to practice something more useful," she offered kindly, drawing dual kunai. "Then I could use a sparring partner."

"Umm…" Naruto didn't hesitate for very long. "Alright… yeah."

She passed him one of the kunai. It was black metal, smooth, and lighter than what he was used to. "That tree over there," Tenten said, pointing out a large tree in the distance. "Aim for that knot in the trunk."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. "No way," he said firmly, shaking his head. "That's too far away, you can't possibly–"

There was a dull thud. Tenten's hand blurred and suddenly there was a kunai embedded deeply into the trunk of the tree. Naruto's eyes bulged. She smirked smugly. "You were saying?"

"How did you do that?" Naruto asked incredulously. She hit the knot dead on as well, with enough force to split wood.

"Like I said, practicing throwing a kunai is generally much more productive," Tenten explained simply. "You try."

Naruto gulped and gripped the kunai tightly. He pulled his arm back and tried to throw with all the strength he had. His blade never even reached the tree.

Tenten shook her head. "No, you're throwing it wrong," she said gently. "It's not heavy, you don't need a lot of strength. It just has to be _smoother_ than that. Stronger isn't faster." She took out another kunai and her arm struck out with lightning speed. In an instant, there was another kunai embedded next to the first. "You've just got to make it natural. Here, try again."

Naruto grinned, and eagerly took the kunai. It wasn't much of a competition; Tenten was just clearly better than he was, but she was friendly and it was fun just to talk to her. Naruto had forgotten how _comfortable_ it could be around other people.

"Alright," Naruto asked eventually, after Tenten put a kunai into a target that he could barely see. "How did you get so good?"

She shrugged. "Just practice, I guess. I used to sit in my garden and just throw kunai at the wall, constantly. You do that for long enough and you're bound to get good eventually."

"Hmph…" Naruto grumbled. "I could spend years throwing kunai and I'd never get as good as _that_."

Tenten glanced at him curiously. "How do you know until you try?"

Before he could respond, there was a sudden, high pitched cry in the distance. It sounded a lot like someone screaming ' _YOUTH!_ '. Tenten's eyes widened, her body shuddering with dread.

"Oh no, _he's_ back…" she muttered with a deep sigh. "I guess my break is over. Sorry, Naruto, I've got to go."

"Oh, ok. Um, no problem," he said, a bit hesitantly, just as Tenten started to walk away. He tried to think of something as he watched her leave, but his brain stopped working suddenly. All four of them. He was just about to kick himself for being a moron when Tenten paused and turned around.

"Hey," she said casually. "You know, if you want a sparring partner, you're welcome to join with my team," she smiled pleasantly, before adding. "I could always use target practice."

Naruto beamed brightly. "Yeah. Yeah, definitely," he said eagerly. She waved at him just before she left, and Naruto caught glimpse of a green blur at the edge of the trees.

Even after Tenten was gone, Naruto spent a while standing completely still thinking about the meeting. He was still clutching one of Tenten's kunai – she had forgotten to take it back and it had completely slipped his mind. Naruto spent a while replaying the conversation, before looking down at the kunai in his hand.

 _Huh_ , he thought dumbly. _So that's what a normal conversation feels like_. It was a strange experience.

Slowly, he started walking back towards the village.

_Now why don't I have more those conversations?_

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

"You alright, Naruto?" Kakashi asked curiously. They had been in the middle of weeding a small vegetable patch, when Naruto paused suddenly.

Naruto blinked. At the same time, his other body was just walking back from his encounter with Tenten. It took him a few seconds to return to his attention to Kakashi.

"Yeah," Naruto muttered quietly. It was disorientating to switch between different bodies. "Fine."

Naruto was subdued for the rest of the mission. Kakashi considered pressing him on it, but the decided against it. Team 7 had to clear out a small allotment, which was more dirty work than difficult. By the time they returned to the Hokage Tower, all three of the genin were covered in mud.

Sasuke was so frustrated he didn't even bother asking Kakashi for training; he just left straight for his home. Hinata quietly slipped away towards the Hyuuga district with a meek goodbye. Kakashi was just about to leave, when he realised that Naruto was hesitating. Naruto was standing outside the Hokage Tower, thinking quietly as the sun started to set.

"Can I help you, Naruto?" Kakashi asked curiously. The genin had been quiet for most of the evening.

Naruto seemed to reach a decision, and turned to the jounin. "Kakashi-sensei," he asked firmly. "When are you actually going to train us?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "You're being trained right now," he replied simply. "Today you learned how to garden, yesterday you learned how to paint a fence, the day before–"

"I meant, when are you going to train to be ninjas?" Naruto snapped irritably.

"I thought you _were_ a ninja," he replied coolly.

The answer caught him off-guard slightly. "Yes, of course! I'm a ninja, but–" Naruto paused, slightly flustered. "When are you actually to teach us ninja techniques and jutsus?" He demanded finally.

The jounin just shrugged. "That depends on you."

"What does?!" Naruto grilled.

Kakashi eye looked at him coolly. "It depends on when you're ready to learn," he said simply.

The answer made Naruto's patience snap. "I'm ready now! All the other groups are learning jutsu, why aren't you teaching us?!" He snapped. "I'm a ninja _now_!"

There was something about his body language that suggested that Kakashi had to resist rolling his eye.

"I'm not going to baby feed you, Naruto," Kakashi said, his voice turning firm. "This isn't the Academy, and it's not my job to hold your hand. After all…" he said dryly. "… You're a _ninja_ now."

Naruto was red-faced, and clearly upset. He folded his arms angrily as he growled at Kakashi. The jounin just shrugged the angry glare off. His eye focused firmly on Naruto.

"My turn for questions, Naruto," Kakashi said after pause. "Tell me something, _why_ exactly do you want to be a ninja?"

"I'm going to be Hokage!" Naruto spat loudly. "I'm going to make everyone acknowledge me!"

Kakashi scoffed derisively. Naruto looked furious. "Well, that's a shittty reason," the jounin said coldly. "You are essentially basing your whole career on a desire to show other people up?"

"What?!" Naruto growled.

"How about this then; _why_ do you care what other people think?" Kakashi demanded. Naruto bristled slightly at the question. "Why does it matter in the slightest what they think of you, and why should you even _try_ to prove yourself to people that disregard you?"

Naruto was breathing heavily. His hands tightened into fists. His face twisted with rage. "Because… Because…!" The words jammed in Naruto's throat. _Because I'm alone._

The thought still hurt a little bit inside.

Kakashi just nodded. "Yeah," he said simply, just before turning around and walking away. "Tell you what; answer that question, and then try to tell me again how ready you are to be a ninja."

* * *

_The next morning…_

It was early dawn as Naruto saw Kakashi enter the training ground. The sun had only just barely risen over the horizon, casting the shadows of Konoha across the landscape. Neither Naruto nor Kakashi had been expecting to see the other one here.

 _Huh_ , Naruto thought with mild surprise; _he really_ does _come here at eight_ …

Still, Naruto was too busy to give it much thought. The genin was standing in front of a large tree, hands wrapped in bandages, as he punched the trunk repeatedly. He was already sweating madly and panting between every punch, but he didn't pause. Instead, his fists bounced off the wood with a steady, rhythmic pattern.

Naruto never even greeted Kakashi as he arrived. The jounin stood quietly in the training ground as Naruto continued to pound the tree. Neither of them spoke.

 _Is he ignoring me now?_ Kakashi mused silently. _Perhaps I was too harsh on him yesterday_ …

Minutes passed slowly. Finally, Kakashi relented. "Hey, Naruto," he said curiously. "What are you doing?"

The genin grunted. He didn't pause in his rhythmic punching. "Beating up a tree," he said simply.

Kakashi nodded. The trunk was already was missing a fair amount of bark. "I can see that," the jounin said dryly. "And you're doing damn good job of beating up that tree. May I ask what the tree ever did to you?"

Naruto breath was wheezy. Still, he had stamina. " _Training_ ," he growled, just as his knuckles caused the trunk to reverberate from the impact.

"Hmm." Naruto was covered in so much sweat that he had had to take off his jumpsuit. It was early, but the genin had clearly been out here for a long time. Kakashi looked at him curiously. "What are you going to do when the tree has been defeated?" Kakashi asked finally.

Naruto shrugged. "Find another tree."

"Right." There was a smirk in Kakashi's voice, but he didn't say anything more than that.

Neither of them spoke for almost ten minutes. The only sound was Naruto's fists bouncing off the trunk. Kakashi just stood as still as statue as he watched patiently.

"I was wrong, you know," Naruto said finally, still panting heavily. "I don't want to be a ninja to make everyone acknowledge me."

"Huh. Then what do you want?"

He paused slightly, a break in the rhythm. "To acknowledge myself," Naruto answered finally, before returning to the tree.

Kakashi definitely smiled underneath his mask. "Yeah," he said with a nod. "That's definitely a better answer."

Another few minutes passed without a word. The punches were dull and consistent, as regular as a heartbeat. Kakashi settled down, cross-legged, to watch.

Eventually, Naruto wasn't quite sure how long it took, Kakashi spoke. "Do you need some help training?" He asked quietly.

Naruto didn't even glance at him. " _Nope_."

Kakashi just nodded. He was definitely smirking. "Fair enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick comment about the Byakugan; in the manga it has never been properly clarified whether Hyuuga's bloodline is active at birth or not. I've always thought that the Byakugan was more like the Sharingan; i.e. not every Hyuuga has it, and it has to be awakened. I also figured it made more sense like that; the Byakugan is one of the Three Great Doujutsu, after all, and if Hinata was late to awaken hers then it explains why Hiashi was always disappointed in Hinata as a child.
> 
> So currently, in this story, it is set before Hinata has awakened her Byakugan.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support, it is really appreciated :)
> 
> Next chapter: 'The Client'...


	6. The Client

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: (sigh)... the sound of the SWAT team charging through my door is telling me that I still don't own Naruto.

_A week later…_

Kakashi's knuckles knocked firmly on the wooden door, causing specks of paint to chip away. The jounin stood irritably in the hallway, waiting impatiently for a whole minute, before finally he heard a tired yawn and the deadbolt slide back.

Naruto rubbed his eyes sleepily as he glanced up his sensei standing at the door to his apartment. The genin was wearing a grey set of pyjamas, and his shoulders were slumped tiredly.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto murmured with another yawn. "I was sleeping."

Kakashi folded his arms. "Naruto, it's five o clock in the evening," he said with a frowning.

"I've been keeping weird sleeping patterns, ok?" Naruto snapped defensively. He still only had one bed and one room, and there was a limit to how much the clones could share. The clones had slowly taken to sleeping in shifts.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, glancing around Naruto's stuffy apartment. It looked like there had been a pack of wolves living in there. Naruto groaned as he held the door open to let Kakashi inside. "What's wrong?" Naruto asked reluctantly. "Why are you here?"

"Did you know that the Hokage recently received a letter of concern about your health?" Kakashi said dryly. "From Teuchi, the ramen shop owner. Apparently, you've been eating pretty much non-stop, twenty-four hours straight, for the last week, at his stand. Teuchi is becoming so concerned that you've developed an obsessive eating compulsion for ramen that he actually went to the Hokage filed a formal complaint."

Naruto frowned. "Oh it's not like that at all–" His eyes widened in shock as a new thought struck. His face paled. "Wait, does this mean that I might _be cut off from ramen?_ "

Kakashi sighed deeply, rubbing his face mask. He had seen comrades in battle face limb amputation with less dread in their voice.

Perhaps there's something to this ramen eating disorder, Kakashi thought exasperatedly. "Actually," Kakashi continued. "I passed the ramen stand on the way here, apparently _you_ were there too. I would have spoken to _that_ Naruto, but his mouth was too full and he was too busy devouring a small mountain of ramen."

"Yeah, it's brilliant isn't it?" There was pure glee in Naruto's voice. "I get to taste ramen all the time."

"On a related note, apparently Teuchi has recently had to hire new part-time staff," Kakashi said pointedly, folding his arms. "Something about an exponential rise in demand for ramen. It seems that his stand has also become inexplicably popular with large groups of young ninjas."

"But I'm doing what the Hokage wanted!" Naruto protested. "I'm keeping my power a secret!"

He motioned to a dark blue hoodie draped across a chair. It had taken a lot for him to discard his beloved orange tracksuit, but with a different set of clothes and a high collar, combined with a simple Henge, it was amazing how easily Naruto could become completely unrecognisable. Everyone was just too used to the orange.

Most experienced ninjas could detect when a Henge was in use, even if it was more difficult to see through the Henge, and walking through a village filled with ninja with a Henge alone was a sure fire way to attract attention. Instead, if he used a Henge to trick the civilians and traditional disguises to obscure the Henge from those that would otherwise recognise it, Naruto became completely inconspicuous. Now, large groups of Naruto clones were mistaken for some kind of teenage gang.

Kakashi groaned. "Naruto," he said slowly. "Just how _many_ clones do you have now?"

The genin paused. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "Hold on, let me count."

Naruto seemed to stare into nothing for a few seconds. Across Konoha, dozens of clones, each scattered and doing their own thing, stopped momentarily to take tally. Back in his apartment, Naruto nodded.

"Alright," he said finally. "There are twenty three, including this one."

The statement was meant with stunned silence. Kakashi's shoulder slumped. "Twenty-three?!" He repeated incredulously. "Naruto, you're meant to keep your powers discreet."

"Hey, I've been holding back. I _could_ have made a lot more!"

Kakashi shook his head with a slight tremble. "That's really not encouraging."

Naruto pouted. "But I have been keeping it a secret!" He said defiantly. "All of my clones are scattered across the village. Whenever two are nearby, one of them uses a disguise! Nobody notices!"

"Yeah, the village just thinks you're being extra hyperactive lately," Kakashi said dryly. There had always been villagers that had objected to Naruto's presence, somewhat. Recently, they had been objecting twenty-three times as much. Disguises or not, sooner or later, people would realise that Naruto seemed to be everywhere.

 _It was never going to stay secret for very long_ , Kakashi reminded himself. The village was full of experts at espionage and intelligence gathering, and Naruto was, unfortunately, easily the centre of attention. Sooner or later, someone would notice and the knowledge would surely leak.

"I've got to use more clones!" Naruto objected. "It's the only way I can train!"

"Train?" Kakashi said sharply. "What training?"

"Well, since you never taught us anything, I had to learn myself!" Naruto snapped. Kakashi's face was as impassive as ever. "So I've got organised. I've split them up. Right now, I'm studying taijutsu, ninjutsu and reading through all my old scrolls all at the same time."

"Really." Kakashi's voice was deadpan.

"Yep. Plus I'm at the library – did you know we've got a library? – and I'm planning on going through all the scrolls there," Naruto said proudly. "And I've got enough clones that while half of them are working, the other half can be relaxing." For Naruto, relaxation usually meant either eating ramen or sleeping. "It's a bit awkward because each body still gets hungry and tired like normal, but I'm usually sharing so many that I don't really notice. That's why I need to eat and sleep in shifts."

 _Twenty-three Narutos_ , Kakashi thought to himself. Even if right now that meant twenty-three rookies, eventually, and probably quite soon at this rate, Naruto would stop being a rookie and then there would be a small army of experienced, identical ninja. That could continually replicate exponentially. Kakashi was beginning to understand what the Hokage had realised straight away; his technique wasn't perfect because it was flawless (the recovery time and chakra cost were definitely flaws), but it was perfect because it was all you needed to put every other technique to shame.

"Naruto, what about the team?" Kakashi asked with a twinge of irritation. Kakashi had been trying to encourage teamwork. Sasuke was too aloof, Hinata was too timid, Kakashi needed Naruto to pull Team 7 together. That would never happen if Naruto decided he had no need for a team at all.

The genin scoffed. "What about it? I've been going along for all the missions, haven't I?"

"One of your clones has," Kakashi corrected. Naruto had been present for all the D-rank missions during the last week, but he had always done the bare minimum and been distracted throughout every boring assignment. _No doubt because, somewhere else, another Naruto had been eating ramen_ , Kakashi thought angrily.

"It doesn't take twenty-three clones to take dogs for walks and chase after cats!" Naruto objected. "The missions are boring!"

"Those missions are for teamwork," Kakashi said firmly. "You've got to go through the boring stuff to build up the team."

"I don't need it! I'm a team all by myself!"

" _Every_ ninja needs a team," Kakashi said firmly. The image of his old team, the team that had really defined Kakashi; Rin, Obito and Minato, flashed through the jounin's mind. "The team is the most vital thing a ninja has."

"Hmph!" Naruto snorted. "Then why are we doing boring D-rank missions all the time, then? I mean, Kurenai, her team left on bodyguard duty for some bridge-builder – _that's_ cool. We're doing all the lamest of the lame jobs."

Naruto had been talking to Tenten recently, and from her he had learnt that the types of missions that Team 7 were doing weren't typical. Kakashi frowned.

"The 'lame' missions are _teambuilding_ ," the jounin argued, as the cracks in his teaching methods started to appear.

Naruto just folded his arms. "You want me to take my team seriously?" Naruto demanded. "Then get me better missions!"

* * *

 _Genin are annoying_ , Kakashi fumed silently, as he stomped up the steps to the Hokage Tower. The jounin wasn't one to get irritated easily, but Naruto had managed it. His mood was made even worse by the fact that he passed five different Narutos on the way to the tower.

It had been a long time since Kakashi had actually cared. He had become pretty good at not caring, as a matter of fact. It had been really easy to not care as he dismissed every previous team after they failed his test, although he had always been well aware that even the ones he failed would likely be picked up by some other team if they had the right aptitude. Now though, Team 7 was his team and he was slowly and unwillingly becoming emotionally invested in it.

A large part of the reason why Kakashi had become a renowned ninja was because he avoided being emotionally invested in anything.

Apparently, nobody had told him that the same approach didn't work when it came to teaching. Now, Sasuke was more isolated than ever, Naruto was quickly becoming a one-man army, and Hinata was falling behind. Kakashi had recently received letters of complaints from the Hyuuga clan, and Kakashi's usual response of 'Go to hell, you ass' just didn't seem to be cutting it this time.

The situation was made all the more annoying by Naruto's clone technique. _If I had been the one to develop that power_ , Kakashi mused silently, _then I'd be able to conquer the Elemental Nations in two months._

If someone like Orochimaru ever got their hands on Naruto's power… well… that'd be the about the time to evacuate the universe. Instead, Naruto had it, and Kakashi wasn't sure what to do next.

He needed to get the team together. That was the only thing that Kakashi was certain about, that Naruto needed Team 7, no matter what he might think. A trip might be just the thing they needed. Plus, he could also maybe avert people getting suspicious about all these Narutos running around.

With a sigh, Kakashi pushed through the doors of the Hokage Tower, and headed straight towards Hiruzen manning the desk.

"Ah, Kakashi," the Hokage greeted, smoking his pipe idly. "I'm afraid we're all out of torturous D-ranks, mind."

"Third," Kakashi greeted reluctantly, scratching his head. "I was after something more interesting for Team 7, actually. C-rank, maybe."

"Really?" Hiruzen muttered, his wrinkled face curling into a light smile. "And what happened to your plan to keep them on, and I quote, 'the most mind-numbingly boring missions possible'?"

Kakashi resisted a wince. "The plan is adapting," he said, voice level.

The Hokage paused, and then chuckled. "I've long of the mind…" he said quietly, eyes glinting. "…that it is as much an education for the instructor as it is for the student, hmm?"

 _What is about getting old that lets you be so damn smug and wise about everything?_ Kakashi thought to himself. "So do you have any missions?"

"Perhaps," the Hokage replied with a puff of smoke. "Let me check." He rubbed his chin as he craned over a pile of papers. "What sort of thing are you after?"

"Low C-rank, preferably," Kakashi explained, shifting slightly. "Something that takes them out of the village. They're not ready for difficult combat, but maybe… well…just give them something interesting."

"Hmmm…" He was silent for a long time as he flickered through the requests. After a long pause, Hiruzen's eyes widened. "Something interesting, you say?" The Hokage paused. His lips twitched, and he stood up. "Hold on, I'll be right back."

Without warning, the Hokage went straight for the backroom. Vaguely, Kakashi could overhear bits and pieces as he argued with one of the clerks.

"…you mad? You can't give that mission to _genin_ …"

"…it'll be fine, how hard can…"

"…it's not appropriate…"

"…I know! That's what's so…"

Less than a minute later, Hiruzen emerged from the room, carrying a piece of paper and mischievous smile in his eyes. Kakashi glared suspiciously. "Here you are, here's your mission," The Hokage offered. "It's in the Land of Coasts, a very small rural country towards the southeast. The client is in Konohagakure now, awaiting a team to take the mission. It's a fairly low-paying job, but exactly what you're after."

"Really?" Kakashi asked cautiously. "And what's the job exactly?"

Hiruzen hesitated for barely a second. "Their town is currently being… _terrorised_ by a wild animal. The client is looking for someone to drive it away," the Hokage explained. "For more details, it's probably best if you talk to the client. I'll let him know that you're coming."

Kakashi paused, thinking it over. "And this _is_ low C-rank, right?"

"Oh yes," Hiruzen nodded, with a slight chuckle. "It should be no problem for a jounin of your abilities."

"Right," Kakashi nodded, eye narrowing. He paused, but then shrugged and walked off with the mission assignment.

Later, Kakashi sent a message to all three of his genin, to prepare for a long journey and a more difficult mission, and to their client meet tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile, Hiruzen was laughing about the assignment all day.

* * *

Despite himself, Naruto was excited. He even wore his best orange tracksuit, and tried to straighten down his hair. He knew it was only a C-rank mission, but the prospect was still enough to make him giddy.

All his life, he had never left the village before. Now, he had a measure to another country, and he was excited. He was so excited, in fact, that across the village there were two dozen clones that couldn't keep themselves focused.

It was nearly ten as Naruto rushed towards the café that Kakashi had designated to meet. Naruto was early, even though he knew almost certainly that the jounin wouldn't be. Sasuke was already there, looking more interested as well. Sasuke had definitely been just as fed up with the wave of D-ranks missions as Naruto was.

The two boys regarded each other in silence as Naruto sat down. _Truth be told_ , Naruto conceded silently, _Sasuke hadn't been so unbearable recently_.

Hinata arrived about five minutes later, and the lavender haired girl quietly took a seat with the other two genin. Naruto greeted her brightly, and she smiled and muttered something back, though she didn't make eye contact. About fifteen minutes later, the whole group tensed as they saw Kakashi walking towards them alongside a skinny man with large glasses.

"Ah, my cute little genin," Kakashi greeted coolly. "Allow me to introduce our client, Mr Hotaka."

Hotaka looked like a scrawny man, wearing a worn formal suit with large, broad-rimmed circular glasses. Naruto's instant impression was of a tired, middle-management, businessman, with slightly greasy hair, weary eyes and a rather nervous expression.

"Is _this_ the team?" Hotaka asked doubtfully, glancing around at the genin. His gaze hesitated over Naruto, but he didn't say anything. "…are you sure they're capable?"

Naruto glared angrily and felt to ready to explode, but restrained himself. Kakashi just smiled with his eyes. "Heh… well, I am a jounin, so don't worry. Tell us about the mission."

Hotaka's lips pursed as he hesitantly sat down. "My town is…" he explained with a pause. "… well, we want you to drive a wild animal away from it."

"A wild animal?" Naruto question eagerly, pushing the initial anger to one side. "What sort of animal? A dragon? Oh, please tell me it's some big monster like a –"

Hotaka hesitated, pulling at his collar. "It's a moose."

Naruto nearly deflated. "A _moose_?!"

"It's a 700 kg, highly territorial bull moose," the client replied, almost defensively.

"You want us a kill a moose," Sasuke asked sceptically. "Aren't there hunters that could handle something like that?"

Hotaka shifted slightly. "Well, we don't want to _kill_ it. I mean, they're protected animals. We just need it… away. As soon as possible." he said hesitantly, with a flicker in his eyes. "As for the hunters… um… they were all too busy laughing to help us…"

There was a pause. Kakashi frowned. "What exactly is the problem with this moose?" The jounin asked cautiously. "Is it attacking people?"

"No, it's been staying away from people." He looked strained. "It's just… well, it recently defaced a statue."

"Defaced a statue?"

He nodded. "Yes, with its…" Hotaka looked away, before mumbling something under his breath.

Kakashi's ears twitched. "Sorry, say that again?"

The client sighed in resignation. "With its _penis_. The moose defaced our statue using its penis."

Kakashi blinked. There was a long moment of silence. Hinata's face turned beetroot red, Naruto's mouth slowly dropped open while Sasuke looked frozen solid.

"We recently commissioned a granite statue of a horse to celebrate our town's founding," Hotaka explained reluctantly. "It was good, the builders did a fine job, but then the moose came along, saw the statue and… um… there was a case of mistaken species…"

"I'm sure that's what the moose will claim in court," Kakashi said a brightly, leaning back in his chair. The genin just stared incredulously. "So, basically this moose mounted your statue and was overcome by desire?"

He winced. "For eight hours," Hotaka said slowly. "For _eight freaking hours_."

" _Damn_ ," Kakashi whistled. Hinata was busy trying to bury herself in her coat.

"The first time we laughed it off," Hotaka explained with a gulp. "But then it kept on coming back."

"You don't say." Kakashi was clearly enjoying himself. "Have you tried making the statue less provocative?"

Hotaka rolled his eyes. "Look this is serious, alright," he snapped. "It was an expensive statue, and there's been a lot of damage. There are hoof scratches across its side, lots of broken pieces, and the whole statue has been pushed forward nine inches from the base."

"Nine inches?" Kakashi whistled. " _Damn_."

The client groaned. "Oh, sure _everyone_ laughs," he said bitterly. There was desperation in his eyes. "But _I'm_ the guy that has to clean it up afterwards. I just can't do it anymore. Do you have any idea what it's like to have to wipe up all that… _gunk_ and blood…?"

"Wait – _blood_?" Kakashi asked curiously.

Hotaka rubbed his eyes. "Yep," the man muttered unwillingly. "The moose is a trooper."

" _Damn_."

Sasuke looked at Kakashi in shock. Naruto had a similar expression. "Are you serious?" The dark-haired genin exclaimed. " _This_ is our mission?"

Despite his mask, Kakashi was clearly grinning brightly. _Apparently the Third does have a sense of humour_ , Kakashi mused. "Mr Hotaka," he announced loudly. "Team 7 is honoured and highly amused to accept your mission. Let no man ever doubt the professionalism of Konohagakure's ninjas." Kakashi turned to his team. "Come on, men, the situation is clearly very urgent so we must set off instantly!"

Naruto glared at him incredulously. "Let me get this straight…" he muttered slowly. "Our first big mission… the first time out of the village… our _landmark_ mission… and we're going to stop the tyranny of a horny moose?"

Kakashi patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. "Consider it a learning experience," the jounin suggested brightly. "Sometimes you just have to do your job. Not every mission is big and exciting."

* * *

_The next day…_

Hiruzen had been hoping for relaxing morning. That plan was ruined as soon as the message arrived; one of his teams was back, and it had gone badly. After that, it was a frenzied race to the hospital, paperwork, and dozens of clients demanding an explanation all at once.

Konoha had their reputation at stake, after all. They were never expected to _fail_ at their missions.

As Hiruzen walked quickly through the hospital, his blood went cold as he realised that the team in question was one of their genin teams. He took a deep breath as he saw their jounin instructor, currently being bandaged from a vicious neck wound that had very almost severed her jugular.

Kurenai's eyes were dark and her face was pale as she stared at the Hokage. Around her, Team 8 hovered in frantic confusion.

"Third," Kurenai muttered in greeting. Her voice was very frail, and she clearly had trouble breathing. "I'm sorry."

Hiruzen took a deep breath of his pipe, but his eyes softened. "Tell me what happened."

"Team 8's mission went badly quickly. It was supposed to be a simple escort to the Land of Waves, but then we were attacked by two missing-nin, the Demon Brothers. I saw both of them off, but it was revealed that the mission was more dangerous than we first released. The client, Tazuna, was actually being targeted by a powerful businessman called Gato, who was hiring missing-nin to assassinate him." She hesitated, glancing to her genin. Kiba was staring fixatedly at the floor. "Despite the risk, I made the decision to proceed with mission. I'm sorry, sir, that mistake is on me."

"We will discuss that later," the Hokage said simply, eyes firm. "Please, proceed."

"As we approached the destination, we were later assaulted by another missing-nin, a man named Zabuza Momochi."

"The former member of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist?" The Hokage asked sharply.

"Yes." Kurenai nodded, wincing with pain. "I engaged the assassin. We proved equally matched, but then Zabuza's companion attacked from behind. I was… caught off-guard." Her eyes were firm. "Zabuza went for the killing strike. Fortunately, I managed to cast a genjutsu at the last second. It turned a killing attack into a debilitating one. Zabuza thought I died."

"And your genin?" Sakura looked terrified, Kiba was strangely quiet, and even Shino looked worried.

"The genjutsu disguised them from Zabuza," Kurenai explained, forcing her voice steady. "But I couldn't disguise our client, Tazuna, as otherwise Zabuza would have hunted them down. Zabuza murdered our client, and then left. I made a judgement call, sir."

Hiruzen sighed. "You did right," he said with a nod. "Your first priority was the safety of your team. The loss of the client is unfortunate, but necessary in the circumstances."

 _Kurenai was a new jounin_ , Hiruzen remembered, _but she clearly had talent_. Zabuza was S-rank, and there weren't many who could fight him on equal terms. _She did her duty_ , he decided. Her wound was nasty but not life-threatening, though it would probably take her pride longer to recover than the injury.

"Right now we must focus on the present," the Hokage decided firmly. "We cannot allow an attack against Konoha to go unpunished. Zabuza has remained at large for far too long. Send word to Kirigakure. I will prepare a hunt squad to chase him down."

Around him, the Hokage's advisors nodded. Every Hidden Village had a reputation to uphold. Examples had to be made. Hiruzen's eyes flickered. "Also send a suitable compensation package to this Tazuna's family," he decided after a pause. "And I will have words with the Fire Daimyo to see what can be done about this Gato."

"Zabuza will not be easy to catch, mind," Kurenai warned. "He has avoided hunter-nin for years. And he now thinks that he has murdered a Konoha jounin. He will expect retribution."

"Yes," Hiruzen agreed. "He will doubtlessly cut contact with Gato and retreat into hiding. He will find somewhere quiet to lie low…"

The Hokage's voice trailed off. The old man frowned. "Sir?" Kurenai asked curiously.

Hiruzen shook his head, but his eyes were worried. "No, it's nothing, except…" he murmured quietly. "The Land of Coasts is not far from the Land of Waves at all…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is admittedly, a short chapter, but it does set up the next arc. Next chapter is going to have a lot more action, though.
> 
> As for anyone who thought I'd be copying the Wave mission, well, you clearly don't know me :)
> 
> Next time: 'What Makes a Ninja?'...


	7. What Makes a Ninja?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, though I will be able to try again in ten to fifteen years, depending on good behaviour.

Naruto was excited. He couldn't help it. For the last twelve years, his life had been contained within the walls of the village and now, finally, he was walking through the gates. The moment was significant enough to make him forget about the actual mission that they were doing. Team 7 met at the south entrance, each of them with a simple duffel bag of supplies.

"Where are your clones, Naruto?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Waiting in the walls," Naruto explained. Organising them all had been something of a pain. "I figured we'd each use a different entrance and meet up outside."

Kakashi nodded approvingly. The guards would most certainly have got suspicious if a crowd of ninjas tried to leave at the same time. Kakashi slung a small carrier bag off his shoulder. "Here," Kakashi offered. "Use these."

Naruto opened the bag curiously. Inside, there were two dozen black fabric objects. It took Naruto a few seconds to recognise them. "Face masks?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Lots of ninjas use them for undercover missions," Kakashi explained. They were basically a mass-produced version of the Anbu masks. "Fairly cheap, but useful. The fabric is even lined with a weak seal that'll stop basic identification techniques. Won't do anything to hide your chakra signature, of course, but it's better than nothing."

"Huh," Naruto muttered, looking at the masks. They were vaguely similar to hockey masks, but lighter and more flexible. It would cover the whole face, while over the eyes the fabric was so thin you could see through it. The mark of Konoha was emblazoned over the forehead. "You want each of my clones to wear one?"

"It'll prevent a lot of awkward questions," Kakashi said with a nod. "More reliable than a henge."

Naruto hesitated. He wasn't happy about having to wear a mask, but it made sense. "Fine," he said reluctantly. "I'll pass them around."

Kakashi glanced at him. "How about one of your clones doesn't wear a mask?" Kakashi suggested, slightly awkwardly. "You should, um, elect one of your bodies to remain mask-less, to act as a spokesman?"

Naruto frowned. "But why? All clones are the same."

"Yeah, but it's creepy trying to talk to multiple _yous_ at the same time," Kakashi grumbled. The clones had a habit of answering questions addressed to other bodies, and it was fairly unsettling to try and hold the same conversation with different clones.

Naruto pulled a face, but didn't argue. Hinata was the last to arrive, carrying a backpack awkwardly over her shoulders, her face hidden in her collar as she headed towards the rest of the team. Wordlessly, Kakashi nodded towards the gate guards before they headed off.

"Say, isn't our client coming with us?" Naruto asked, glancing around.

Kakashi shook his head. "Nah, he's not really the hiking type," Kakashi explained. "He'll stay and wait for a caravan to take him home, but I want to get this mission done quick. It'll be a day and a half hike; we'll set up camp tonight and arrive tomorrow late morning."

Hinata shifted slightly at the thought of camping, but Sasuke looked as aloof as ever. "Oh yeah, because this is _such_ a serious mission," Sasuke grumbled sarcastically, eyes dark.

"Hey, a ninja should take every mission seriously," Kakashi said amusedly. "It's very easy to make a mistake when you're lazy, and you only ever need to make one for something seriously bad to happen."

Sasuke didn't reply, but just kept on walking. About twenty minutes after they left the village, working through a wooded but well-travelled grove, they met up with the rest of the Naruto clones. The sight of nearly two dozen identical boys sitting and stewing impatiently in a small circle was surreal enough to make Kakashi blink. Hinata looked absolutely shocked, and even Sasuke's eyes widened in surprised.

"About time!" Two dozen Narutos snapped together, in perfect synchronism.

Thankfully, only a few of them were wearing orange tracksuits, the majority were wearing a mix of cheap trousers and shirts. As much as Naruto loved orange, it was still a dead giveaway if there were two dozen wearing the exact same uniform.

"How many did you bring?" Kakashi asked curiously, glancing around.

"Twenty," the Naruto spokesman answered, handing the masks around his clones. "I've left three back in Konoha."

 _Probably a good idea_ , Kakashi conceded. No matter happened on the mission then, Naruto was pretty much unkillable. Also, it was an instantaneous form of communication to Konoha. If something happened, Naruto could relay a message faster than anything. Kakashi felt a shiver run up his back as the implications of Naruto's power started to sink in further.

Sasuke seemed to be having similar thoughts. The dark-haired genin's expression was unreadable as he looked around the clones. Sasuke had known that Naruto had a unique clone technique, but it was only now that the real consequences of that ability were starting to sink in.

"These clones…" Sasuke muttered slowly. Their convoy was suddenly very crowded. "…They're all permanent, aren't they?"

"Yep," Kakashi said with a nod, glancing down at him. "We'll talk later," Kakashi promised, motioning discreetly at Hinata too.

 _The Naruto clones are becoming more organised_ , Kakashi realised. A week ago, Naruto used to talk and even argue with himself out loud, but now, every clone seemed to move with a shared purpose. They were each distinct, but it was different. Lots of bodies and minds, but a singular consciousness.

"Alright," Kakashi decided. "I guess this is a good time to practice a bit of military procedure. Naruto, you take point; your powers are best for scouting."

They all groaned at the same time. "Split yourselves up and go in opposite directions, small groups. Walk ahead and behind," Kakashi advised. "If you see anyone coming, relay it back."

"What about Sasuke and Hinata?" Naruto protested.

"Oh, they'll have their jobs," Kakashi promised. "They can set up camp, or navigate, or handle cooking tonight. Your powers are just the most useful for scouting, so we should use that."

It took nearly an hour for them to get organised, but at the end Kakashi was pleasantly surprised. Naruto ended up walking in a large circle around them, as well as carrying the bulk of their supplies. With extra bodies to act essentially as pack mules, they had plenty of supplies but still managed to walk quickly. Fairly soon, the walk dropped into a steady rhythm as they walked through the countryside.

They stuck to main roads at the beginning, but then a Naruto clone found a trail path heading south, so they took a shortcut. It was pretty easy hike, and Kakashi had time to read his book as they walked.

Apparently, in Konoha, Naruto was also eating ramen (obviously), reading through scrolls and training taijutsu. As they hiked, the focus of all the clones was on those three, meaning the other twenty walked almost robotically while their brains were elsewhere.

The only person who wasn't happy during the march was Sasuke, brooding even more than usual as he glared at Naruto. The genin was slowly beginning to realise just how powerful Naruto's bloodline really was, and Kakashi could see just how much that troubled him. Sooner or later, Sasuke would realise that while his potential had limits, Naruto's did not. Kakashi made a note of it, but stayed quiet.

It wasn't even dusk when Kakashi motioned to stop for the night, but they had made good time. "Alright." Kakashi sighed. "No point in pushing ourselves. Let's make camp here for the night and take it easy."

It was a nice area, next to a small lake and sheltered by a forest of willows. They found a clearing just off the road to make camp, half-hidden by a fallen hollow. Old habits die hard, and Kakashi still instinctively looked for camouflaged area, as if it was a wartime infiltration mission in enemy territory.

Working as a group, Naruto set up his tents in half the time. Sasuke was still visibly disturbed as he glared at Naruto, but quickly brushed the campsite clear while Hinata set up the campfire.

"Ah, my cute little genin," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Our first camp together. Alright, let's sort out chores. Somebody cooks, somebody forages, and somebody keeps watch."

"But we've got ration packs," Hinata commented. Hinata's and Sasuke's bags were full of field supplies, while Naruto had packed only readymade ramen cups.

"No point wasting them." Kakashi shrugged. "Living off the land is half the fun, and essential for a ninja to learn early. I mean, we could have done the trip in a single day, really, but I wanted to give you this experience."

Meekly, Hinata offered to cook, while Naruto was clearly best at setting up the perimeter. Sasuke had no problem hunting, but he still glared at Kakashi.

"And what are _you_ going to be doing?" Sasuke demanded, folding his arms. Naruto nodded in approval.

Under his mask, Kakashi smirked. "What do you want me to do?"

"If you want us to work for you," Sasuke said firmly. "Make it worthwhile. You've got to teach us a good jutsu."

"A good jutsu…?" Kakashi sighed. "I swear, why do students always fixate on jutsu as if it's the be all and end all? Good ninjas aren't defined by how many jutsus they know, you know…"

"Says the guy renowned for copying a thousand techniques," Naruto said sarcastically. He had heard Kakashi's reputation from Tenten.

Kakashi smiled with his eye, pausing for a few seconds. "Tell you what…" the jounin said eventually. "I'll make you a counteroffer. I'll teach you anything that you want to know, but _only_ …" he stressed the word. "…if you can pass a test."

They all stared at him suspiciously. "What test?" Sasuke asked cautiously.

"Simple, really," Kakashi said, sitting down on his sleeping bag. "One question and you've got to give the right answer. What makes a ninja?"

No one said anything. Kakashi was definitely smiling. "What do you mean?" Naruto asked confusedly.

"I thought it was self-evident," Kakashi said, folding his hands. "If you want to me to teach what you want to know, then you've just got to explain to me what it is exactly defines us ninjas. What is the difference between a real ninja and a guy who just throws kunai around?"

Naruto didn't pause for long. "Jutsus," he answered instantly. "Real ninjas can use jutsus and chakra, like henge and clone techniques."

Kakashi shook his head. "Nope," he said simply, thinking about a certain green jounin. "Not a requirement. I know a guy who's more ninja than most, but I'm not sure if he even knows how to do the most basic techniques. Definitely never needed them, anyways."

Sasuke frowned. Hesitantly, Hinata held up her hand. "Blood," she said with great hesitance, eyes flickering. It was a mantra that her father had often impressed on her; born ninjas were better than others, and Hyuuga was better than them all, even if Hinata wasn't comfortable repeating it. "That's what the clans are for."

"There are plenty of first-generation ninjas too," Kakashi argued. "Plenty from civilian families. That's why everyone, from merchant's children to clan heirs, goes through the academy just the same."

"Training, then," Sasuke said firmly. "It's a profession. Ninjas are from Hidden Villages, they've been trained in any of the ninja arts."

"Sorry, still no," Kakashi replied. "That definitely doesn't include self-taught ninjas, or independent ninjas, or rogue ninjas. Yep, guys like that exist."

Nobody spoke. Naruto scratched his head. The question seemed so obvious, but he was struggling to find a way to answer it. Sasuke frown deepened, glaring intently at Kakashi. _The jounin was deliberately being awkward_ , Naruto decided firmly, and twenty-three clones nodded in agreement.

"Tell you what," Kakashi said finally, picking up his book. "While you're thinking of an answer, you can prepare supper."

* * *

The camp was quiet and miserable as Hinata tended to the fire and Naruto helped sort out the meal. Each of Naruto's clones still had to eat, which meant supper was rapidly turning into a big affair. Sasuke had stormed off, muttering something about hunting rabbits. One of Naruto's clones saw him moving off towards the valley in the south.

"Recognition," Naruto said suddenly, breaking the silence. "Ninjas are only ninjas when they're recognised by other ninjas."

"Sorry, no," Kakashi replied, flicking the page. "As a matter of fact, it's a pretty good rule to avoid recognition in our line of work."

Another minutes passed silently. "Missions," Naruto said firmly. "Ninjas accept and perform missions."

"So does any hired muscle or thug," Kakashi answered simply.

Naruto growled, returning to cooking.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

_This is useless_ , Sasuke thought furiously. By his age, his brother had been a renowned jounin already. But Sasuke was left hunting _rabbits_.

Everything about his situation made his teeth grind together. Sasuke was an avenger. Vengeance was in his blood. His purpose was clear; first he had to get strong, then he had to murder Itachi, and he had to revive his clan. His whole life had been planned out since the day of the massacre, but now, Sasuke's instincts were screaming that everything had been derailed.

 _I need to be stronger than I am now_ , Sasuke thought angrily, his hands tightening into fists. Right now, he was just surrounded by distractions. This mission, his team, his life in Konoha – they were all just distractions to him. Pointless, infuriating, _annoying_ distractions.

He had reached a barrier though. He had yet to awaken his Sharingan, and his instructor was proving to be completely useless. When he graduated, he had thought that this was where his real training would begin. Now, he just felt angrier and more held behind than ever.

And then there was _Naruto_. Naruto of all people. It disturbed Sasuke to the core to see the dead-last flaunting his powers while Sasuke was being left in this bloody, useless mission.

Around him, his sharp eyes picked out the tell-tale signs of rabbit burrows. There was no doubt that he could bring a couple back. _Sasuke Uchiha_ , a mocking voice in his head whispered; _the last Uchiha, the avenger, the great slayer of bunnies_ …

The anger was too much. " _Damn it!_ " Sasuke roared, lashing out at a nearby tree. His fist collided with the trunk with a dull thud. His knuckles ached.

A bird fluttered out of the tree, but otherwise silence returned to the forested valley. Sasuke sighed, slowly dropping to the ground. _Pointless, annoying distractions_ …

Everything was so silent that sudden voice caused Sasuke to jump. "Did you hear something?" An unfamiliar voice muttered in the distance. The sound of footsteps rustling through the bushes sent Sasuke instinctively hiding behind the tree.

"Deer, maybe?" Another voice asked curiously, as the footsteps got closer.

"Hope so," his colleague replied. The voice was gruff and loud. "Good eating on a deer."

 _Hunters?_ Sasuke thought curiously. They were in the wilderness, far from a town. He couldn't think of another reason why anyone else would be around here at near dusk.

"Whatever." A third man now. His voice was drier, rougher, and hoarse. "Just make sure it's not any coppers and we're good."

The statement caused Sasuke to shrink backwards into the bushes. _Not hunters_ , he thought darkly, just as three men came stomping through the trees. The three of them were older men, wearing rugged jackets, and boots. Their clothes were worn and dirty. Two of them had swords at their hips, and the third had a bow with a notched arrow.

"Ain't no coppers around here, Rufus," the man with the gruff voice muttered, but his hand was on his longsword's hilt. He was taller than the others, with his face half hidden under a flat cap.

"Well, let's keep it that way," the one called Rufus replied. He was shorter, bald head, with a lean face and sharp, suspicious eyes. He had two knives on his belt as well as his sword.

"You're a suspicious one," the man with bow commented, glancing around before lowering his bow. He was blond haired and somewhat baby-faced. Sasuke disappeared into the foliage without even a rustle of leaves. "We're good."

"Suspicion keeps you alive, Conny," Rufus growled, but then the three of them turned around and trampled slowly through the bushes.

Without hesitation, Sasuke crept after them, quiet as a ghost. There were three men that were suspicious about being chased. That alone was enough to justify following them. Sasuke kept his distance, but they never went far.

Their camp was close; the men were living in a shallow cave in the valley wall, just about invisible except at a certain angle. There was a fire burning in the middle, carefully hidden from view. There were sleeping bags littering the ground, and Sasuke crept as close as he dared to get a better look.

There were other men in the cave. Seven of them, hunkered around a stew boiling over the view. The three men joined the larger group, with a mutter of greetings. All of them were armed, and wearing worn clothes and leather armour. There were boxes and crates of all different sizes stacked messily towards the back of the cave.

 _This place is the wilderness, but it's not so far from the main roa_ d, Sasuke thought quietly. _Ten men, all armed, sleeping in a hidden cave filled with crates, and hiding from authorities_. The scene stunk of bandits.

There had always been murders and raids of the travelling caravans and merchants. Sasuke wondered briefly if he should return to Kakashi for help, but quickly dismissed that idea. Itachi would never need help.

Only ten men.

Sasuke's fists tightened. "Any problem out there?" One of the bandits asked curiously. Sasuke could barely hear, hiding in the bushes at the mouth of the cave.

"Nah," the man named Conny replied. He glanced at the boiling pot eagerly. "Probably just a deer. I'll track down later. Let's get that stew out now."

There was a murmur of agreement from the men. The only one who didn't seem hungry was Rufus, who was heading straight towards the boxes at the back of the cave. Sasuke watched intently, sizing each man. "Let's make sure of that before first," Rufus growled, moving through the boxes.

"Relax, Rufus," a bandit muttered.

"Don't fucking tell me to relax," Rufus growled angrily. "We're wanted men now and I got no fucking intention of getting lazy."

"Calm the fuck down," another one said gruffly.

"Fuck off," Rufus snapped, returning to the boxes. "Where's that haul we got the other week? The one headed to Konohagakure?"

A few seconds later, he seemed to find what he was looking for. All eyes looked at Rufus as he pulled out a folder from a crate at the back. Sasuke tensed for his chance. "What are you doing?" A bandit exclaimed angrily. "That shit is expensive!"

Rufus pulled out a parchment from the folder, revealing a page covered in an intricate seal. "Worth it!" Rufus snarled, cutting his finger on his blade and slamming his hand into the centre of the seal. Sasuke paused as he suddenly felt a pulse of chakra, taking him by surprise.

He realised too late. Seals were basically chakra containers. They were jutsus that had been stored into paper. An experienced seal-maker could use a jutsu and then store in a seal, so it could be used a later date, by any user.

Something like a tracking or proximity jutsu, for instance.

On the piece of parchment, the seal unravelled and disappeared, as a number appeared in the centre of the page. The number eleven. There were eleven people in the vicinity.

The bandits' eyes widened in shock as they saw that they had an intruder. At once, everyone swords were drawn and the men charged out of the cave. His hiding place wouldn't hold up for long. Sasuke had no time to find another and he wasn't about to run. He cursed mentally at his bad luck, but his hands were already drawing a kunai from his pouch. His body moved on instinct as Sasuke charged out of hiding, catching them all by surprise.

Everything blurred in an instant. _These men weren't ninja_ , Sasuke thought furiously. These men were nothing.

A bandit slashed his sword instinctively, a heavy and wild blow. Sasuke blocked the blade with a kunai, slashing out with the other one. The bandit screamed as the sharp blade cut across his shoulder, drawing blood while Sasuke capitalised on the confusion and slammed his foot into another man's face, knocking him backwards into another bandit.

Everything was wild. They were charging out of the cave and crashing into each other. Their movements were slow and clumsy, but they will still all bigger than him and Sasuke had no intention of letting anyone tackle him to the ground.

An arrow whizzed by, but Sasuke twisted his head as brushed passed his ear. Sasuke lashed out with a furious spinning kick, just as Rufus charged at him, a sword in one hand and knife in the other. Sasuke easily blocked the sword, but the knife slashed in an uppercut, coming too close for comfort. Sasuke was still reeling just as another bandit roared and slammed outwards with his fist, colliding with Sasuke's chin.

 _Damn it!_ Sasuke growled. He took the blow well, but the circumstances weren't good for him. He had lost his element, and trying to fight them off like this didn't play to his strengths. He had gotten sloppy.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. The bandits had still barely left their cave, and they were huddled together. _Play to my strengths_ , Sasuke thought, taking a deep breath as he channelled the chakra through his body, and into his nature transformation. His hands flickered through the hand seals in barely a second. Snake. Ram. Monkey. Boar. Horse. Tiger.

The bandits must have recognised what he was about to do. They tried to panic, but it was too late. They had nowhere to run and no way to stop him. Just as the chakra gathered into his hands and into his breath, the air combusted into hungry flames..

"Fire Release!" Sasuke gasped. " _Great Fireball Technique!_ "

The fireball burst forward with furious intensity, large enough to fill the entire cave. The surrounding foliage burnt into flames as smoke and heat distorted the world.

Sasuke stared with wide eyes, his shoulders sagging as the jutsu drained his stamina. The adrenaline left him. His hands were trembling.

 _I… I just killed ten people_ , Sasuke thought in stunned shock. The image of burnt flesh and seared bones scorched through his brain. Sasuke's knees went weak, and he felt the sick rising in his throat. His eyes bulged.

He had killed someone. The thought was not as easy as Sasuke thought it would be.

"They were bandits…" Sasuke gasped. His arms were trembling as the flames still roared. "…They deserved it…"

Still, Sasuke could clear his mind of the image of burnt flesh, even as thought slowly twisted to that scene in his house, where two bodies laid on the ground, their throats slashed–

"Fucking ninja…!" A voice growled angrily. Sasuke looked up instantly in surprise. "You think you're so fucking _great…_ "

The flames cleared. Sasuke was left staring at a wall of scorched stone, but then the wall crumbled and the bandits kicked their way through the dirt. All ten of them stared at him. They were covered in soot, but otherwise looked completely unharmed.

Sasuke's face was pale. "What's the matter, punk?" Rufus growled, clutching his sword as he smirked meanly. "You really think that _your_ sort are the only ones who know how to use a bit of chakra?"

 _Move_. His arms moved automatically. Suddenly, Sasuke had two kunai in his hand was throwing them through the air, followed by spinning shuriken as Sasuke dived backwards. He barely had time to react as an arrow flew next to him, trailed by a stream of smoke. Explosion seal.

The impact sent Sasuke flying into a nearby tree. Through the corner of his eye, he saw his projectiles being blocked easily by wave of water spinning through the air.

His breath left his lungs, but his training kicked in and he was up on his feet in seconds. He barely had time to react as a bandit slashed his sword forward, the blade sparking with lightning. The lightning jutsu slammed straight into Sasuke's back, sending him sprawling into a bush with a shrill scream.

Sasuke's body was screaming in pain. His body was trembling and his mind was disorientated, but he managed to react as a figure charged through the foliage, sword spinning downwards. Sasuke felt Rufus' blade came so close it tore through his trousers, but Sasuke scattered backwards. When Rufus lifted his blade again, it wasn't a sword of metal anymore. The chakra pulsed through the blade and suddenly Rufus was carrying a huge cleaver made of earth, spinning around with frightening speed.

All of the bandits had chakra coils, Sasuke realised in shock. There were different affinities among them, but they all use the same untrained style. Rufus was using Earth nature chakra, and channelling it through his sword. It was crude but powerful chakra. More powerful than he had expected. Sasuke felt his heart pound as he realised how much trouble he was really in.

Sasuke had always been taught a strict process of using elemental ninjutsu; first nature transformation to set the element, followed by shape transformation to change the form. The bandits used a completely different, unstructured method. There was no shape transformation involved, just pure elemental chakra that they pulsed around him.

 _Run_ , Sasuke thought furiously. He had severely underestimated these men. They were each chunin level, at least. The thought overwhelmed everything. Sasuke turned and scattered away.

There was laughter from behind. The bandits were laughing at him. Sasuke had no time to react. Rufus was laughing as well.

"Like I always say…!" Rufus laughed loudly, spinning his blade of earth around, pumping more Earth chakra through his sword. "…Ninjas are all fucking _pussies_!"

Shards of earth split off his sword and were sent flying towards Sasuke. The projectiles hit him straight in the back with bone-shattering force. Sasuke's collapsed to the ground, splattering in the mud.

His head was spinning dangerously into unconsciousness, but Sasuke was just aware of earth shackles forming around his wrists and ankles. The dirt around him twisted and morphed, binding him suffocating.

The last thing he saw just before he blacked out was Rufus, standing over him with a derisive smirk.

"Yep…" Rufus growled. "…Fucking pussies…"

* * *

Naruto yawned tiredly, resting on a small outcrop overlooking the valley. His mind was in another body, doing something more interesting as his eyes kept watch on autopilot.

It was only when he heard the explosion in the distance that he was reeled back into his body. Every clone flinched as one as he saw the smoke rise up in the distance.

"Sasuke…" Naruto muttered, eyes narrowing. Something was wrong. Without a second thought, the clone leapt off the rocks, running quickly through the forest.

Back in camp, another Naruto body jumped upright. He had been lying in the tent, but was suddenly awake as the collective consciousness jumped into action. Naruto scrambled upwards, glancing around the campsite.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked wildly. "Where's Kakashi-sensei?"

Hinata was alone, tending to the flickering flames. Her eyes widened in shock. "Um… he went out hunting fifteen minutes ago…" Hinata stammered, pointing in the distraction Kakashi had left. "What's wrong?"

"Damn it!" Naruto cursed. Of all the times for Kakashi to be missing. He flickered through the clones' memories, but no one had seen the jounin. Wordlessly, he ordered a clone to search for him.

Hinata was staring at him. Naruto was pulled back to his body, looking at her. "I think Sasuke is in trouble," he admitted.

 _What's going on?_ Another Naruto demanded, as all minds focused on the body closest to the smoke.

 _Looking around_ , that Naruto thought, his body gasping for breath. _Can't see him. Don't kno_ –

The last thing he managed to see was a blurring object flying towards him. Then, the vision went black.

" _Ahh!_ " Every Naruto screamed, hand clutching at his eye in shock. The pain was searing. His body was trembling. It felt like a life feed had just gone dead.

 _An arrow_ , the clones realised dumbly. A clone had just been killed by an arrow through the eye.

"What happened?" Hinata shouted in panic, rushing to his side. Naruto was blinking repeatedly.

 _Less than a second_ , Naruto thought, trembling with shock. He had just been murdered in less than a second, no warning. The thought that anyone could die that fast disturbed him to the bone.

The memory of his last two deaths replayed in his mind. Dying was one thing which just didn't become easier with experience.

Naruto gulped, trying to recompose himself. "A clone has just died," Naruto said with a gasped breath. "And Sasuke must be in a lot of trouble. You stay here and wait for Kakashi, I'll go."

Eighteen clones were already running, converging from all directions towards the valley. Hinata shook her head. "I'm coming with you," she said firmly, her face paler than usual.

"Hinata–"

"I'm coming with you," she said, her voice unusually strong. He stared at her in shock for a minute, before nodding and they both started sprinting towards the south.

The Naruto clones had been spread out in roughly a circle, with the camp at the centre. There were eighteen clones rushing downwards, with one left trying to search frantically for Kakashi. The first clones reached the valley, instantly picking up on a bickering of voices.

"There was another one!" A man announced proudly. "I got him though."

"Then we've got company," another man growled. "Keep sharp."

"Sneaky bloody ninjas!"

Three Naruto clones saw a group of men huddled around a cave, all clutching weapons. From a different point of view, one of them saw Sasuke, lying motionless on the floor with stone manacles around his wrists and ankles. His body looked battered. He wasn't moving. Naruto wasn't even sure if he was alive.

 _Dead people don't need manacles!_ Another clone hissed. Sasuke must still be alive.

 _Bandits_ , another Naruto thought grimly, as every clone drew a kunai.

There was just a flicker of hesitation. The clones wondered briefly if they should stay hidden and wait for reinforcements. Still, the adrenaline was pumping through their bodies and their hearts were pounding. _Let's take them!_ Every Naruto roared as one, just as the closest three leapt out of the trees.

_We'll show these bandits whose boss!_

_Let's show Sasuke-jerk as well!_

_Yeah, there's only ten of_ –

The explosion took them all of guard. Suddenly, the three Narutos were sent spinning backwards as a fireball whooshed by them. Two of them barely managed to dodge, but the third one couldn't. The flames consumed everything.

It wasn't an instant death. Instead, the fire crashed into his body with furious heat, and then his clothes, his hair and his skin caught light and started to burn. The heat was so intense that blood started to boil and flesh dripped off the bone. The eyes were the first to go, and Naruto screamed furiously as he felt his eyeballs pop in his skull. His screams were barely audible over the sound of roaring fires.

And every other Naruto gasped as they all experienced first-hand what it was like to burn to death. The horrible thing, the really bone shudderingly horrible thing, was just how _long_ the body managed to survive. Even when the heat had cracked his bones and his skin was melting off his skull, the clone was still clinging to life, trying to breathe through lungs that had been scorched so badly he couldn't.

Every other Naruto broke out in a cold, sweat, paralysed in horror and clutching at the throat. The pain was so intense that they all shuddered.

 _Shut him off!_ A Naruto ordered. It was one of the ones that had been left behind in Konoha – apparently being further away made him less susceptible to the shared pain and emotion. _Shut him out!_

One of the Narutos at the scene gagged in horror at the smoking flesh. _He's still alive_ … Naruto gulped. _We've got to help him, he's still alive_ …

The other Naruto clones overruled him. The others weren't actually present, so they were capable of being less emotional. As one, a dozen minds focused on the suffocating body. With an intense force of will, they all pushed against that one. And then, after a short concentration, that mind disappeared as instantly as snuffing out a candle.

That burning Naruto clone was forced out of the collective, and the body dropped dead without even flinching.

Every Naruto was still disturbed. It was so hard to focus when that memory of burning was still burning through their minds. _Move!_ A distant Naruto bellowed mentally, but the clones couldn't focus. _MOVE RIGHT NOW!_

"Stupid bloody ninjas!" A voice grunted, just as a bandit slashed forward with a heavy blade. Naruto glanced upwards in shock, just as a dozen stone projectiles burst towards him. He could barely even flinch as he felt so many stone shards pierce through his flesh.

The pain was blindingly intense. He could only gasp, as the projectiles stabbed through his shoulder, arm and neck. Through the corner of his eye, Naruto glimpsed his other body stumbling around dazedly, only to be knocked to the floor by a heavy fist to the forehead.

The final Naruto was still gasping weakly, unable to focus. The final thing he saw was a stone blade slashing downwards.

And then everything went black.

* * *

"Naruto!" Hinata shouted in panic. "Naruto!"

Naruto gasped, his body sagging as he felt the phantom wounds burn across his chest. Death. So much death, he just couldn't block it out. Four of his bodies had been defeated in an instant. One shot through the eye, one burnt to death, and the other had their skull split open. The final one only felt unconscious, but Naruto's minds were spinning so madly that he couldn't tell for sure.

"Come on Naruto!" Hinata shouted, lifting him to his feet. His eyes were unfocused. "What's wrong?"

 _Hinata_. Naruto blinked, trying to focus. "…Hinata…" He gasped, feeling the urgency cut through the panic. "…Not so loud…"

She stared. Then, seconds later, they heard the footsteps storming towards them. Hinata gasped, instinctively dropping into a fighting stance despite her trembling hands.

 _Focus!_ A Naruto screamed. He couldn't afford to make the same mistake again. His bodies were all disorientated, but slowly each Naruto felt his body strip away as he moved into the collective as a whole. It was like being detached from his body. Naruto's breathing became steadier, more rhythmic as all his minds started to merge into one.

The pain and emotion was still there, but suddenly it seemed more… distant.

 _Whoa_ … Naruto thought slowly, feeling himself spread over twenty different bodies. There was only one Naruto thinking right now. _What is_ _this_ …?

There was no time to obsess over it. There were ten bandits charging towards him and Hinata, and Naruto had to move. He had fifteen bodies in the area, and suddenly they all moved as one.

The first bandits pushed their way out of the foliage, coming face to face with the maskless Naruto and Hinata.

"They're all fucking children," a bandit growled, clutching his sword tightly. "What, did Konoha run out of real men to send?"

"Let's try to take them alive," another bandit suggested. "We could use the hostages."

"No promises," another man snarled, eyes narrowing at Hinata. Naruto really didn't like his gaze.

Hinata faltered slightly. Naruto felt the anger and determination boiling up in every body. "Get away you bastards!" Naruto growled, clutching his kunai tightly just as four other clones burst at the bandits from all directions, while another two charged from behind, all screaming incoherently.

The bandits were caught by surprise, but recovered quickly. A rain of kunai was blocked by a slash of swords, and then Naruto felt the chakra in the air as the bandits prepared themselves.

 _These bandits never used jutsu like ninjas did_ , Naruto realised. It wasn't a refined jutsu based on technique and hand seals, yet this jutsu (if it could even be called a jutsu) felt cruder, more instinctive and less controllable, but it was still powerful and it caught him off guard. They used Elemental chakra, but they just pumped it wildly out from their bodies, with no technique or refinement involved, yet they just threw chakra from their weapons wildly. Comparing their form to a ninja technique was like comparing a sledgehammer with a kunai. They were each still experienced, though; each knew only one nature, but they had different affinities among the group.

The bandit at the front, he was particularly powerful. He was fairly slim, but he had a very strong and fierce Earth chakra. Rufus, judging from a name a bandit called.

 _Their movements are crude and untrained_ , Naruto realised, feeling strangely analytical. He could do this; he just had to be smart about it.

The initial assault caught the bandits off guard. He had to keep them disorientated, otherwise their jutsu could slaughter his bodies very quickly. The rest of his clones were chasing up from behind, and with a determined glare, the Narutos charged straight into centre of the group.

 _Keep in the middle of them_. He needed to make it so they couldn't use their powers without hurting each other.

The battle was absolute chaos. So many flailing bodies and slashing weapons. Still, Naruto had a dozen different points of view and somehow he managed to keep himself calm even as dozen of bodies kicked and screamed.

 _I'm coordinated_ , Naruto thought firmly. _They're not. My advantage_.

The bandits were big and strong, but Naruto was quick-witted and slippery. His bodies danced between in chaos, diving between legs and slashing out for short, shallow strikes. They were screaming, particularly as Naruto's remaining clones dived from the bushes, taking them all off-guard as the masked ninjas stormed into the ground.

 _Focus them down_. There was a big bandit, fat and heavy stock, spinning a longsword around furiously. His blade cut Naruto clone across the thigh, but together the clones managed to focus out the pain. The bandit still had that clone pushed back against a tree, but then two other clones body-slammed into him from behind, taking him off-guard.

The bandit recovered quickly and spun around, but suddenly the other clone jumped out and grabbed his leg, causing him to trip over. Naruto had the advantage and he took it, clutching his kunai tightly as he slashed upwards with the blade.

Naruto stabbed the blade upwards towards the man's skull. Then, at the last second, the doubt hit him and he changed direction, plunging the knife into his shoulder instead.

The thought of taking a life was not an easy way to accept. Naruto went for a wound rather than a kill.

The flesh and bone was tougher than Naruto expected. The man screamed in pain as the blood spluttered, but the sharp blade jammed into his body. The bandit thrashed, catching Naruto off-guard.

"Bastard!" The man roared, just before he head-butted Naruto to the ground and slashed out with his longsword.

The longer blade had more leverage, and ended up slicing Naruto's stomach open with ease. The clone gasped as he looked down and saw his own guts spilling out of his stomach.

Despite himself, and despite the circumstances, the sight and pain still caused every Naruto to wince. The clones hesitated and they're bodies trembled. That slight hesitation was deadly.

The bandits recovered quickly. Even when outnumbered, they were still big and tough. The best among them managed to focus their chakra, and then suddenly three Narutos vanished as a huge boulder of earth crushed them against the tree. The bodies splattered with a dull crunch.

Hinata screamed. She was left struggling and failing to fight against a man slashing with furious sword strikes. He had the reach on her, and Hinata was left trying to desperately dodge backwards.

There was a stream of water darting upwards, as fast as a whip that cut straight through a clone's shoulder. With a scream, the clone dodged to the ground, only as another bandit sliced downwards with a furious sword slash. Naruto blinked, and he was left staring down at a bloody stump where his left arm used to be.

Strangely, it took a few seconds for him to feel the pain.

Naruto's singular consciousness was beginning to fragment. The pain and the loss were just too intense. His clones were tripping over, and they were being slaughtered one by one. He had lost his initial advantage.

 _I'm going to lose this battle_ , Naruto thought in shock.

He knew what was going to happen. He knew what he had to do to stop it, he just couldn't. He wasn't fast enough, he wasn't strong enough, and he just wasn't good enough.

Naruto had never felt so weak before.

 _Hinata!_ A clone thought furiously. _Hinata is in danger!_

The girl was struggling. All of Naruto's eyes widened as he saw the bandit, Rufus, form a lance out of earth that shot downwards Hinata. Naruto didn't even hesitate.

At once, a clone jumped in front of her, just as the stone lance pierced straight through his chest. The last sight that Naruto saw before he died was that of Hinata, eyes wide, staring at his dying body in absolute horror.

"…Naruto…" Hinata stammered weakly. There were tears in her eyes. "…I'm sorry…"

That statement confused Naruto. What did Hinata have to be sorry about? _This fight is my failure_.

 _I've got save her_ , Naruto thought firmly. No matter what happened to his clones, he'd survive. Hinata was the one who had to get away from here urgently. His fists clenched tightly as he focused on his new priority.

He had ten bodies remaining, but many of those were injured.

"Hinata!" Every Naruto screamed loudly. "Get out of here!"

She hesitated. A clone grabbed her arm and pulled her away. She stammered something, eyes wide, but Naruto was firm as he dragged her away. "Move!" Naruto shouted. "Just run!"

Two bandits tried to give chase. A Naruto clone jumped in front of them from the side, sacrificing itself without hesitation to help her get away. A bandit gathered a fireball and launched it at her, but another Naruto clone simply grit his teeth together and launched himself into its path. The other Narutos expelled him from their consciousness in an instant, but the sensation still caused them all to wince.

Hinata was nearly away. Naruto had four bodies left. He winced as he glimpsed a flashing blade striking downwards. Three bodies left. _Once she was in the trees she could escape easily_ , he thought furiously.

The arrow flashed through the air. Naruto didn't see it coming. He didn't have enough bodies left, his expanded field of view was withering. He reacted quickly though, suddenly throwing himself in front of Hinata. The arrow jammed through his neck and knocked him backwards, crashing into Hinata and they both tumbled onto the floor.

Naruto was left unable to breathe, drowning on his own blood as the arrow stuck out of his throat. The last thing he saw just before everything went black were the earth manacles forming around Hinata's limbs, and the footsteps marching towards them…

* * *

 _Wake up! Wake up!_ The voices in Naruto's head were panicked. _You've got to wake up!_

Slowly, Naruto's eyes flickered and he dropped into consciousness. His felt weirdly empty, as if we missing many of his limbs. The memories hit him at once, and the images of deaths, so many deaths, overwhelmed him.

Naruto gasped for breath. _It had been a slaughter_ …

 _There are five of us left_ , another Naruto explained grimly. The three in Konoha had been safe, but there was also the one who had been left fruitlessly searching for Kakashi in the forest, and the unconscious one who had been captured.

It took a few seconds for the newly awakened Naruto to process his surroundings. He was the cave, his arms and legs tied down. They had taken his mask off.

Sasuke was next to him. The dark-haired genin was bloodied and bruised, glaring with dark eyes and slouched shoulders. The two bodies stared at each other in grim silence. Sasuke's arms and legs were equally fastened.

 _I'm on my way to the Hokage now_ , one of the clones in Konoha reported. _I'll tell them what's happened._

_What about Hinata?_

_I think she's alive_ , thought the lone clone left in the forest. The clone was panicked, but there was nothing he could do by himself. _Not certain though_.

There were footsteps marching towards the camp. Naruto and Sasuke both tensed as the bandits returned. Naruto's eyes widened as he saw Hinata, lying unconscious over the shoulder of a bandit.

"Oi!" A bandit shouted, pointing towards Naruto. "You've got the exact same face as this guy!"

He had a dead Naruto clone over his shoulder. The dead, mask-less clone who had an arrow buried in his neck. _We'd lose our advantage if they know about the clone jutsu_ , another Naruto advised. The plan came quickly.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. "My brother!" He screamed in fake outrage. "My twin brother, um, _Bob_! You've killed him!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto. " _Bob_?" He mouthed sceptically.

Naruto paid him no attention. "You killed him!" Naruto wailed, burying his head in his hands and pretending to cry. "You killed Bob!"

Bandits stared at him. The man dropped Naruto's dead body to the ground. "Fucking twins, man," the bandit muttered. "I told you it'd be something like that."

"We should have taken more alive," another bandit muttered. "We could have used the hostages."

"Screw hostages," a bandit, Rufus, growled. "Let's sell them to some rival village, ninjas get really feisty about learning about their enemies."

"Too much effort," another argued. He had a nasty wound on his shoulder. "We need to disappear right now. If Konoha sent a force of… what? Two dozen after us, then we're on their radar in a big way. We've got to go."

"But why were they all so _weak_?" A bandit mused, glaring at Naruto and Sasuke. "If they sent a force like that, then I'd expect them to at least send a competent force."

Another shrugged. "Maybe they had an excess of weaklings?"

"There something not right here," Rufus growled, glancing around. A bandit dropped an unconscious Hinata next to Naruto and Sasuke. Rufus paused to think about it for a while. "Oi, Conny," Rufus said finally. "Go find one of the other bodies. Take a look at them for me, will ya."

The bandit Conny frowned. "Why should I?"

"Cos I asked nicely," Rufus snarled. "And I only do that once."

Conny grumbled, but started walking away. Naruto's eyes widened. If they discovered that every dead body had his face, things would get complicated. Sasuke must have had the same thought. "Hey!" Sasuke shouted haughtily. All bandits turned to stare at him "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I am the last Uchiha in Konoha, and the heir to the Konoha clan. Konohagakure will pay a fortune for my safe return!"

The statement was met by silence. "Uchiha?" A bandit frowned. "What the hell is an Uchiha?"

Sasuke growled. "The Uchiha is the greatest clan in the world. You are in the presence of ninja royalty!"

"I've heard of the Uchiha before," another man muttered. "Some founding clan or whatnot."

A couple guffawed at that. "Fuck that ninja shit," a man said dismissively. "Never been interested in it."

"Just how many figures are you talking about here?" A bandit asked, looking at Sasuke interestedly.

"Ignore him," Rufus growled. "Punks will say anything to save their own skins."

"Oh yeah?" Sasuke snorted. "Watch your mouth. You're trash compared to me."

 _He's distracting him_ , Naruto realised dumbly. Sasuke was deliberately provoking them, distracting him from checking the dead bodies.

"Is that so?" Rufus demanded dangerously.

"Yes." Sasuke's teeth grit together. "Go back to whatever whore you spawned from, bastard."

The bandit grabbed Sasuke's cheek, drawing a knife. Naruto looked in horrified silence. Sasuke's gaze was firm. "Oh, I can see the fucking _royalty_ now," Rufus growled dangerously, moving the knife closer.

"He's not worth anything if he's dead," a bandit warned, cautiously. All eyes were on Sasuke and Rufus.

Rufus' gaze was firm. "I won't kill him," Rufus promised coldly, inching the knife closer. The statement was no encouraging. To his credit, Sasuke didn't even blink. He met Rufus' gaze even as the cold steel touched his cheek.

There was a gentle cough from behind. Everyone paused.

"Excuse me?" A mildly amused voice said quietly. "Have you seen three genin around here? I swear, they just walked away and left their poor instructor behind…"

The bandits jumped. In less than a second, all weapons had been drawn. Kakashi was standing right in front of the cave, idly standing with his arms folded.

"Ah, there you are. Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata." Kakashi was smiling as he waved. "Honestly, I leave you alone for five minutes and just look at what you get yourselves into."

Kakashi glanced around bandits casually. "I've got rabbits, by the way," he shouted to genin, holding up three dead rabbits. "Figured we could have them for supper."

Rufus glared, holding his knife tightly as he stared at Kakashi suspiciously. "What the hell are you?" He growled, motioning to the bandits as they crept up towards Kakashi slowly. Sasuke and Naruto could only stare at the jounin incredulously.

"Evening," Kakashi said politely. "The name's Kakashi Hatake."

"You're a ninja," a bandit muttered stupidly, approaching with sword drawn.

Kakashi eye was smiling. "Oh, I'm not here for trouble," he said pleasantly, holding his hands up in the air innocently. The bandits paused. "Honestly, I don't really care what you're doing here. You're not my problem. I'm just here for my genin, and then we'll be on our way."

Rufus glared at him. "You're smarter than this punk here," he growled, casting a foul glance at Sasuke. "Tell you what; you want these brats back, _I_ want ten million ryō for each of them."

"Really?" Kakashi asked, folding his arms as the bandits flanked him. He didn't look the least bit concerned about the armed men surrounding him. "That's expensive. And, speaking hypothetically, what would happen if I didn't pay?"

"Then I'll give them back to you in pieces," Rufus growled. "Slice by slice. And then I'll kill you too."

Kakashi was definitely smiling brightly under his mask. "Oh," he said simply. "Is that so?"

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Hiruzen was in a meeting with his advisors, Homura and Koharu, when he heard the ruckus from downstairs. Someone was shouting. The Hokage paused for a few seconds, excused himself from the meeting and then motioned for his Anbu guards to stand down. As he left the office, he was greeted by the sight of an orange blur rushing towards him, while his secretary tried to calm the situation down.

"Old man!" Naruto screamed with panic at the Hokage, who waved his secretary down.

"Naruto?" Hiruzen frowned. "I thought you were on a mission–"

"I was!" Naruto said quickly. "I mean, I am! But something happened. There are bandits, and they know this weird jutsu, and they've capture Hinata and Sasuke and we're all–"

"Calm down, Naruto," the Hokage said firmly. "Tell me what happened from the beginning."

Naruto took a deep breath, and quickly the situation came out. Hiruzen listened quietly as Naruto gave him a live narration of what was happening.

Hiruzen paused. "And what about Kakashi?" He asked finally. "What is he doing about the situation?"

Naruto grimaced. "Nothing. I mean, he's doing nothing."

Hiruzen scratched his chin. " _Ah_. I see." The Hokage nodded. "Well, in that case, there's nothing that needs to be done."

* * *

Kakashi was definitely amused. He folded his arms, nodding as he looked at Rufus. Nobody lowered their weapons. "So… let me get this straight…" The jounin said slowly. "…You are holding my team hostage, and you expect me to pay thirty million ryō for them. What if I don't have thirty million ryō on me?"

Rufus' eyes narrowed. "Then get back to your bosses and raid their purses. You've got three days. Any funny business and the kids die."

"Oh." Kakashi thought about it for a while. "And what if I can't get the money in time?"

 _What the hell is he doing?_ Naruto stared in shock. Sasuke had an equally incredulous expression. Slowly, Hinata was waking up, gasping as she took stock of the situation. The air was tense, even if Kakashi appeared not to notice.

"Are you taking the fucking mick?" Rufus snapped, eyes bulging. "One more smart comment like that and I'll rip out your bloody throat. No, I'll chop off your legs and feed them to these brats, and save us a bit of supplies, you know? Or maybe I'll just rip your heart out of your chest and stick it so far up your arse that you'll be first person to ever choke on your fucking–"

Kakashi burst out laughing suddenly. It wasn't a chuckle; it was a genuine, gut-clenching burst of laughter. The air froze. The veins on Rufus' forehead throb as his eyes bulged.

Every weapon inched forward a bit more. Kakashi held up his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said apologetically, still chuckling slightly. "I'm being rude here. I'm sorry."

He motioned at Rufus, and folded his arms again. "Please, _continue_ ," Kakashi said pleasantly. "I believe you were threatening me."

Naruto could only stare incredulous. Rufus drew his sword and started walking forward. His voice was dangerously quiet. "Do you think you're fucking tough?" he snarled.

Kakashi looked at him like a curious insect. "No," he replied simply. "Do you?"

Rufus slowly began to channel chakra. The ground around him started to churn. The mud twisted and the earth rose upwards, creating four large spikes of stone that hovered in the air, pointing at Kakashi. Rufus raised his sword. "Go on," Rufus said challengingly. "Keep on acting smart."

The other bandits were channelling chakra as well. Kakashi glanced around, and then started chuckling again. "I'm sorry," Kakashi muttered, shaking his head as he looked at the bandits almost pityingly. "I just _can't_ take you seriously. It's like sizing off against a drunken baby. You just don't the self-awareness to realise how completely outclassed you are."

The bandits shared a glance, readying their weapons. Kakashi didn't move. "Fucking ninjas!" Rufus announced. "So fucking obnoxious! You ain't the only one who can use chakra, bastard."

Kakashi shrugged. "Chakra?" He mused. "Who the hell needs _chakra_?"

He slowly unfolded his arms, carefully making no sudden movements. "You see, this is the part that guys like you don't understand," he said slowly. "By itself, chakra is _useless_. Jutsu is _useless_. I mean, honestly, what's the point in having a power like that unless you've got the speed, the reflexes and the skill to back it up?"

Kakashi motioned at the genin. "You should pay attention as well," Kakashi shouted at Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata. "This is one of the reasons I don't like teaching jutsu. You'd be better off running suicide laps, you know. Otherwise, you just end up like morons like _these_ …" He waved at the bandits. "… who think that just because they know how to move a rock or throw some fire that that actually makes them _dangerous_."

There was a long pause. The bandits glanced at each other, just a flicker of doubt in their eyes. Kakashi smiled at them, opening his arms wide, graciously. "…Would you like me to show you…" he said slowly. "… just what _really dangerous_ actually looks like?"

The air became sharp. Kakashi's eye glimmered. For one second, everything was quiet.

And then, Rufus roared with fury as he slammed his sword forward, sending the stone spikes blurring towards Kakashi. Almost casually, Kakashi swatted the projectiles out of the air using a single hand.

Another bandit swiped with his sword, sending a wave of fire blaring towards the jounin. Kakashi sidestepped agilely, dancing around the flames while an eruption of lightning and whips of water burst towards him.

Naruto was left staring speechless as Kakashi easily sidestepped every attack. Conny let loose an arrow with an explosion seal attached. Kakashi barely even glanced at it before swiping the arrow out of the air, blowing the fire out, and letting the paper drop to the floor.

Even as Rufus slashed at the air and caused an earthen spike to erupt from ground, Kakashi just stepped over it, while all the other bandits struggled to keep up. The jounin wasn't even moving particularly quickly, Naruto realised slowly. He had his hand in his pocket, as he just lazily danced between the attacks. No matter where they attacked, he was just somewhere else.

The bandits channelled their chakra through their weapons, causing an attack with every sweep. Kakashi dodged easily simply because they telegraphed every attack so obviously, Naruto realised. Their attacks were too crude to be precise. Kakashi knew where every blow was going and he just calmly kept track of each one, even despite the intensity of the bandits' blows.

A large man stormed at Kakashi, wielding his sword like a cleaver. Kakashi just stepped backward around each swipe and stab. "Bastard!" The bandit roared, red-faced as he hacked at Kakashi. "Stand and fight properly!"

Kakashi rolled his eye exasperatedly, coming to a halt. The bandit roared triumphantly, slicing downwards in a wide arc. Kakashi waited until the blade was less than a foot away, before his hand darted out. He swatted the sword away and grabbed the bandit's wrist with his other hand. The bandit had overreached himself, he lost his balance as Kakashi easily pulled the larger man forward.

With snake-like grace, Kakashi twisted the bandit's sword around. The man barely had time to scream as he toppled to the ground, while Kakashi held the sword tightly. With a crunch, the man impaled himself on his own sword. There was a sickening squelch as the blade stabbed straight through the bottom of his jaw, piercing straight out of the top of his skull.

Kakashi slowly cracked his knuckles as the corpse dropped to the ground. Naruto's mouth dropped open. The bandit had died so easily. It sent shivers down Naruto's spine.

"Ninjas don't fight properly," Kakashi said quietly. "… ninjas fight _well_."

There was a pause. Kakashi's expression wasn't so amused anymore.

"You bastard!" A bandit roared, sending a fireball flying towards him. Without hesitation, Kakashi grabbed the bandit's corpse with one hand and hoisted it upwards like a shield. The fire exploded, but even before the smoke cleared, Kakashi threw the smoking corpse straight at the other bandits.

Before anyone knew what was happening, Kakashi appeared right behind the group of bandits, kunai in hand. Without hesitation, Kakashi reached around, grabbed a bandit, and slashed his throat open. Naruto gasped as the man dropped to the ground, gurgling on his blood.

A bandit screamed desperately and lashed out with furious arc of lightning. Kakashi grabbed another bandit by the arm, swinging him around and using him as a shield. The man screamed as the lightning scorched through his flesh, and then a second later Kakashi was swinging the screaming man around to block a bandit's sword. The sword sliced halfway through the man's skull.

Another second later, Kakashi had pulled the sword out, swung it round, and threw it straight through the chest of the lightning-firing bandit.

Rufus roared in fury. His men were dropping like flies. He charged at Kakashi, sword and dagger in hand, while a lashing out with wave after wave of earth projectiles. "You fucking bastard!" Rufus roared. "You fucking, fucking, fucking bast–"

Kakashi's leg flashed out. Rufus stumbled over his leg and toppled. " _Yeah_ ," Kakashi said understandingly, just as his hands grabbed Rufus firmly either side of his head.

Kakashi's hands jerked. Rufus' neck snapped. "Like I said, counter-clockwise," Kakashi mused, casually letting Rufus' body drop to the ground. "So much easier that way."

Five bandits left. The fear was heavy in the air now. _They died so easily_ , Naruto thought in shock. The sight of so much blood was paralysing. Kakashi didn't even hesitate with each kill. Kakashi wasn't using jutsu. He wasn't dodging or diving, or even moving particularly quickly. Instead, it was like he was hardly trying.

 _And he was barely even using both hands_ , Naruto realised suddenly. Most of the time, Kakashi's other hand was in his pocket.

A bandit gulped, pointing his sword at Hinata. "Don't!" He roared. "Don't move or I'll kill her–"

His voice was cut off by a kunai straight through his eye. His body slumped to the ground, landing by Hinata's feet.

"Get him!" Two bandits roared, launching at Kakashi from behind with a blade of lightning and a whip of water. In a second, Kakashi grabbed hold of their hands and tightened, easily breaking their fingers as his grip tightened. They shrieked in pain, just as Kakashi twisted them around, forced them to the ground. The first one died as his neck cracked. The second one died as Kakashi grabbed him by the neck and tore his throat out with his bare hands.

The second last bandit tried desperately to gather fire in his weapon. He was panicking, and his focus was failing. Just before the flames were about to explode outwards, Kakashi grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly he dropped his sword, and twisted his hand upwards to his head. The bandit lost control of his Fire chakra, spurting from his palm. The fire burnt the bandit's skull, causing him to scream in pain as the man crashed and writhed to the ground.

Kakashi sighed, wiping the blood off his hands as he turned to the last remaining bandit, Conny. He had an arrow notched on his bow, but then he met Kakashi's gaze. The killing intent was suffocating. Kakashi slowly started to walk forward.

Conny hesitated, but then threw his bow to the ground. "Please don't…" Conny begged, eyes full of fear. "… Please… I beg of you… just don't…"

Kakashi tilted his head curiously, but didn't stop walking. Conny gulped, staring up at the jounin. Conny was trembling madly, gasping for breath. "… Please… please have mercy…"

There was a pause. It was broken by a dull squelch as Kakashi's fist punched straight through the man's chest and nearly came out the other side. It was a blow that turned his innards to bloody goo. Conny managed one last gasp, before collapsing to the ground.

Kakashi sighed, rubbing the blood off his hands slowly. He glanced around the cave filled with corpses, and turned towards the three genin. Their faces were pale.

"And that…" Kakashi announced loudly. "… _That_ is what makes a ninja."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been planning this chapter for a while, please tell me how I did.
> 
> I figured that in the Naruto-verse, ninjas have a set technique, but different people would be able use chakra in different ways. There would never be just a single approach to the matter. For the bandits I tried to show that they were just guys who had been born with the affinity but not the tuition, and they learnt by themselves how to use their abilities through simple trial and error. The bandits weren't ninjas; they had very little to do with the ninja world, but there's no reason why ninjas would have a complete monopoly over supernatural abilities.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I've just had a lengthy PM argument with someone, so I need a little rant to get something off my chest:
> 
> If there is one part of the Naruto story that I truly and utterly despise, it is the way that they handled elemental affinities. I mean, honestly, does Kishimoto know anything about physics?
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I quite like the way they explained elemental ninjutsu and chakra in terms of nature and shape transformations. I'm even fine with there being only five elements when I think about it in terms of solid, liquid, gas, plasma, and static. But then we get on to that circular diagram thing and then I have to resist punching something in anger.
> 
> I understand what he was trying to do; he wanted to put an order to the elements and make it a like a bigger version of rock-paper scissors. But it's just wrong. I mean, Lightning can beat Earth? Why the hell does Lightning beat Earth? Does he not understand what an electrical earth is? A mass so large that an applied voltage has virtually no effect. Earth should be just about completely immune to the effects of lightning because duh. If anything, Earth should have supremacy over Lightning.
> 
> Also, Air beats Lightning? Lightning is defined as the electrical breakdown of air; the air is literally being torn apart into ions during a lightning strike. Air should be weak to Lightning, by any semblance of logic.
> 
> But it's more than that it's just the whole concept. For example, if I threw two equal measures of earth and water together, by Kishimoto's logic, earth has just 'won'. But what? How could you possibly define anything as 'winning' when all you've achieved is a big pile of mud?
> 
> From any sort of scientific or logical perspective, the whole thing is just silly. How can you even compare different elements to each other? By what basis do you define which is better? It's like asking how many grapes are in an apple.
> 
> But then it gets worse. Then, it goes on to define all those combined nature transformations and I just cringe. Does Kishimoto seriously think that if you put lots of air into water and then that's how ice forms? Or that mixing water and earth together and, yep, that's a perfectly reasonable definition of where plant life comes from? Or how about that magnetism is formed by a combination of air and earth? I mean, wha?
> 
> Go on the Naruto wiki page for Nature Transformations, and there's this big diagram where someone has tried to draw all of the elements and dozens combined elements and sort them into a nice, neat symmetrical pattern. I hate that guy. Physics is not a neat, symmetrical pattern. It should not fit in a neat, symmetrical pattern! 
> 
> Anybody who seriously tries to defend that, yep, everything in the universe is as simple putting things in order is on the same scale as someone who believes that matter is made up of lots of little hooks joining things together.
> 
> But the thing is, there are absolutely better ways to do it. For example, look at Avatar the Last Airbender or Legend of Korra. I'm completely fine with the way they handled the four elements because they never tried to compare them; the elements just have different characteristics and behaviour. They even put symbolism to the elements (like Earth represents body, Air represents spirit, and all that) and that is fine - well thought out even. But then I look at how Naruto has does it and it is just infuriatingly wrong. It is like enjoying an great story where all of the interesting and otherwise intelligent characters just accept that instance of child-like 'logic'.
> 
> ...
> 
> ... Or maybe I'm just a bit too sensitive about the whole subject...
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter: Team 7 encounters a certain missing-nin, 'The Inhibitor'...


	8. The Inhibitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own, however, a rope made out of urine-soaked bedsheets, a hairpin that works as a lock pick, a hand drawn map of the sewers around the cellblock, and a gun carved out of a bar of soap.
> 
> Fuck the prison system.

Naruto murmured quietly as he shifted in his sleep, feeling the gentle but persistent tug back towards consciousness. He turned gently, rolling in his sleeping bag, trying to cling onto the dream with everything he had, but his eyes slowly started to flicker as he returned to consciousness. His groping hands crunched onto sharp twigs and grass as he twisted off his bedroll and onto dirty ground.

He had to gasp as his body jerked up, but his mind was trailing behind. Everything was a blur. He was unused to the sensation of waking up, actually. Previously, when he had had so many clones, he was never actually really been asleep; there had always been at least one clone awake at any time. Naruto had almost forgotten what it was like to feel his brain reset and try to pull everything into focus as he dropped into consciousness.

The first sensation that he had was one of sudden emptiness. His mind tried to reach out towards his different bodies instinctively, only to feel absolutely nothing. A wave of disorientation hit him, like he was trying to move limbs that weren't there anymore.

It took a few seconds for the memories to return. His eyes opened, staring emptily up at the sky as dawn crept over the horizon. Naruto blinked, and suddenly it all came back.

 _Oh_ , he thought stupidly, remembering why everything felt so empty.

There was a pause. His mind was still creeping into gear. After the memories, it was the _feeling_. The phantom sensation of all that emotion, pain, and fear dredged up from his subconscious. Images of frenzied motion, sharp blades and urgent screaming flickered in front of his eyes. And blood. Oh, so much blood.

Naruto stopped. His shoulders drooped. _Oh_ …

It was a long time before he managed to think much more than that. He just sat upwards in his bed, glancing around the quiet campsite. The charred pit of the fire had long since burnt out, leaving nothing but ash and a faint smell of smoke. The campsite looked so quiet this early in the morning. Next to Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke were still fast asleep, crashed out and dead to the world.

Naruto sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He sat upright, but he didn't stand up. Instead, he just sat forlornly staring at the ground for a long time, trying to make sense of it.

… _That all really happened last night, didn't it?_ He thought slowly, feeling the thoughts echo around his head. There was no reply.

He had four other clones left; three sleeping back in Konoha, one still asleep on the other side of the camp. He could still feel them vaguely, but the connection was weak and incoherent as his other bodies slept and dreamt.

He hesitated. Kakashi was nowhere to be seen, and Naruto just didn't know what to do. _How am I supposed to act after what happened?_ Naruto thought slowly. All of the reactions he could think of just didn't seem appropriate. He wondered if he should feel outraged, angry or upset, but instead he just felt… well… _numb_.

Physically, Naruto was unharmed, or at least this body was. His other body (the one that had actually been captured) was a bit bruised and knocked around, but not seriously. That was probably why that clone was sleeping longer, Naruto realised. The only injuries that the awakened Naruto had were small cuts and scrapes after frantically and uselessly searching through the bushes for Kakashi last night.

But the memory of all that adrenaline and that fear had left his body drained. Flashes of blood and mutilated corpses hit him every time he closed his eyes. Last night, after the battle had been a blur – with all the emotion and tension he couldn't really be surprised that they all just crashed out once everything was over.

And it had been over. Kakashi had most definitely seen to that.

And now, in the flickering light of a new morning, Naruto just had no idea what he was supposed to do. _How were people expected to act after being brutally murdered over a dozen times?_

But he just sat there, slowly and dispassionately running through everything that had happened yesterday.

About thirty minutes later, another figure walked towards the campsite. His footsteps never made any sound, even as he walked over the twigs and leaves. Naruto jumped as he saw the shadow pass over him, but Kakashi just smiled apologetically.

"Good morning, Naruto," Kakashi said in a weirdly casual greeting. From the looks of things, Kakashi had been awake all night.

 _He slaughtered all those bandits_. That was the only thing Naruto could think of as he looked at his instructor, mouth stammering helplessly. Naruto just felt lost, struggling to speak.

Kakashi didn't seem to react, walking around his the campsite quietly towards his tent, before reaching down to pick out a long sealed scroll from his belongings. Kakashi sighed. "Huh. It's been a long night," he explained simply, rubbing his eye. "I've been keeping watch all night, and, you know, trying to clean up the mess."

Naruto blinked, before nodding stupidly. He remembered the way the blood splattered as Kakashi's fist burst through that man's ribcage.

"Try not to wake the others up, by the way," Kakashi said conversationally. "It's probably best if you let them sleep a bit longer."

Naruto realised his mouth was still hanging open uselessly. Kakashi put his scroll under his arm and then slowly started to walk away.

"In fact…" Kakashi asked, almost absentmindedly. "If you're awake, I don't suppose you could help me with something? I could use a hand with a bit of a mess over here."

Naruto didn't reply. He didn't know how to reply. He felt like he should be screaming or crying, but just nothing came.

Kakashi glanced at him understandingly. "It's easier if you keep busy," Kakashi said simply, before walking off out of the campsite.

Naruto paused. He took a deep breath, and then, ten seconds later, stood up and followed Kakashi away from the campsite. The jounin never said a word as Naruto cautiously followed from behind.

Kakashi led him just south of the campsite, towards a hilly region in the woods that Naruto recognised instantly. The ground was still jagged from where earth jutsu had torn up the landscape. Two small tress had been knocked over, one of them scorched from a fireball. Footsteps trampled over the ground. The scene was exactly how Naruto had left it.

The only difference was now all the corpses were gone.

The images of that battle flashed in front of him with every sight. Naruto remembered how he had tried to ambush the bandits here. He remembered jumping out of that tree, over that log there, throwing a kunai from there… Everything around him brought back so many memories from so many different perspectives that Naruto had to stop and breathe deeply.

Kakashi didn't rush him. The jounin waited patiently as Naruto clenched his fists, and slowly started to follow him again.

"I've cleared up the bandit's cave," Kakashi explained simply. "I cleaned up those bodies, sorted through their stash, and sent whatever identification I could find back to Konoha. I'm sure the village will contact the local authority, and they'll come and pick up the stolen goods."

He said it so matter-of-fact. Naruto just stared. "As for the bandit's corpses themselves, well, I'm pretty sure no one will be interested in them, to be honest," Kakashi admitted. "But I've left them intact anyways for the watchmen, just in case. I'll leave it to them bury or burn them or whatever."

Naruto was left lost, feeling mildly surreal. The thought of actually killing someone was so mind-bogglingly extreme to Naruto, yet Kakashi just handled it with practiced experience. As if murder was as mundane as taking out the garbage.

"However…" Kakashi continued, still walking ahead. "… _These_ bodies we can't just leave for the watchmen. We're going to have to sort these ones out ourselves."

The emerged towards into a clearing. Naruto felt his heart race. In the middle of the clearing, in a neat row, there were eighteen motionless, identical corpses all lined up with their arms folded on their chests. Some of the bodies were so burnt and charred they were barely recognisable, while others had severed pale limbs placed next to their chest. The air stunk of dried blood. Naruto nearly gagged as he looked at the pale flesh. Already there were flies buzzing around the corpses.

All of the corpses were unmasked, empty eyes staring upwards. There was a pile of the black masks next to a nearby tree. Naruto had seen his own corpses before, but _now_ …

Kakashi's eyes were firm. "Ninja bodies are important," he explained seriously. "You've got a bloodline now, which means that someone could conceivably replicate your ability from one of your clone's corpses. That means that under no circumstances must you ever leave a body in such a state where it could be salvaged. Do you understand, Naruto?"

There was a pause. Naruto had to drag his eyes away from the bodies, but he managed to nod. Kakashi's hand was on his shoulder, reassuringly.

"I figured that it is important that you learned how to do this as soon as possible," Kakashi explained, taking out the scroll and unfurling it on the ground. "There is absolutely too much of a risk if you leave you a dead ninja's body in a salvageable condition."

The scroll unfurled to reveal complex lines of seals. Kakashi placed his hand on the centre, pulsed in chakra easily, and suddenly objects burst out of the paper with a dull pop. Three large glass jars of dull liquid appeared, as well as a large cloth bundle of tools.

"This is a clean-up kit, as used by Anbu agents during special ops," Kakashi explained, as he took bundle and unravelled it, revealing a pack of tools with dozens of scalpels, heavy cleavers, and bone saws. It varied from almost kitchen utensils, to medical equipment, to workshop tools. "Now, there's different ways of doing it, of course, but this is generally the easiest. Burying is absolutely forbidden unless there's no option, fire could work but is also messy and unreliable, yet this is the best method of ensuring there's no information or genetic material left on the body."

Naruto couldn't speak. During the bell test, when Kakashi had disposed of the clone he sacrificed, he had seen a kit like this, but never in this much detail. "Quite simply," Kakashi explained, motioning to the three glass jars. "You mix these two chemicals together, it creates an acid that eats through flesh. You use this chemical for the initial coat, this chemical to trigger the reaction, and then the final chemical is for disposing of the bones." Kakashi hesitated. "It should go without saying, but be careful, of course, they're very volatile."

Naruto gulped. "What are the tools for?" He asked quietly.

"Well, it's not quite as easy as just pouring the acid on," Kakashi admitted. "Bodies are tough. Sometimes you have to _cut_."

Naruto didn't reply. His face was pale as he stared at the toolset.

"Take my advice," Kakashi said softly. "Treat it just as a job, nothing more. You'd be amazed at how quickly it becomes routine."

Naruto's hands were trembling as he watched Kakashi carry the toolkit over to the first clone. The dead body had had its throat slit so deeply that half of its neck was severed. Naruto had to force himself to think of the corpses as 'it'.

Kakashi sighed. "First things first," he said after a pause. "We've got to strip the body. The chemicals can burn through clothes, but it's not recommended. Take off all the clothes, boots and belts in particular. If there's any possessions you want to salvage, now is the time, otherwise put all the clothes in a pile over there and we'll burn it afterwards."

Kakashi motioned for Naruto to do it while he stood back. The genin hesitated, before slowly going down to his knees and unfastening the laces on the corpse's toeless shoes. The feet felt so bloated that it was hard to pull the sandals off, and even harder with trembling fingers. The minutes passed in slow, awkward silence.

By unspoken agreement, they left the corpse's underwear on. Once the clone was just about naked, Kakashi unfastened one of the jars, unleashing an absolutely foul scent, and carefully poured a small amount of the liquid over the body's torso, limbs and head, carefully smearing it over while wearing thick latex gloves.

Afterwards, Kakashi unfastened one of the other jars, containing a clear, scentless liquid, and gently dripped the liquid onto the body. Almost instantly, there was a fizz, and Naruto had to turn away as the flesh began to bubble.

"This is only the first coat," Kakashi explained detachedly, watching the acid eat through the body. "Gets rid of the skin and upper muscles. Generally, it's the organs, the brain, and the spinal cord that is the most important to destroy."

Kakashi proceed rhythmically, applying the acid carefully, while using the saw to cut through the bones, creating a pile of bloody limbs and muscles, stacked onto of what used to be a torso, while Kakashi burnt through them all at once. Quickly, it was barely even recognisable as a body.

By the time he was done, there was absolutely nothing left but a barren mark on the ground where a body used to be, and a fine layer of gunk.

Within half an hour, it was done. "Alright," Kakashi instructed, moving on to the next corpse. "I took my time with that one, but let's see if we can get through the rest a lot quicker. Honestly, it probably would be easier if we built a bath and destroyed all the bodies at once, but never mind."

Everything proceeded in steady silence. The next corpse, Kakashi stood back and let Naruto apply the acid. It burnt through the body quickly. Naruto stared, pale face, as he watched the flesh slowly being eaten away until there was nothing but bones.

After overseeing Naruto critically, Kakashi moved on to another corpse and worked at the same time to get through all eighteen faster. At one point, Kakashi seemed to try to make idle conversation.

"So…" Kakashi muttered slowly. "I'm curious. Your clothes copy when you make new clones, right? So what about kunais and money? Do you replicate those as well?"

Naruto shook his head slowly. "No," he replied numbly. "It tries to but… well, the new clothes that the clone has always feel different and are really flimsy and uncomfortable. The first I have to do is buy new clothes. It can't get the fabric right. Any metal is even worse; it can't really clone that at all. Any notes or anything just turn out looking like really, really bad counterfeits."

"Ah." Kakashi nodded. "I guess the technique isn't so good at the cloning anything that isn't you."

Naruto didn't reply. Kakashi never tried to start a new conversation. By the fifth clone, it really was starting to feel like routine. Somehow, the thought sent shivers done his spine.

Naruto stood quietly, watching the bones melt away to nothing but gloop. It was still very early morning, no one else was awake. Finally, Naruto couldn't handle the quiet anymore.

"Where were you yesterday?" Naruto demanded hoarsely, glaring at Kakashi.

The jounin paused. "I'm sorry?"

"When the bandits took Sasuke. I tried to find you, but I couldn't. I had to confront the bandits by myself and… and…." Naruto glared. "And where did _you_ go?"

"I went off to have a quiet read of my book," Kakashi replied simply.

"You left the camp!"

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "And would you have preferred it if I read my book in the middle of camp?" He asked dubiously. Naruto didn't react. The jounin reminded himself that genin was only twelve. "Ah, never mind. Regardless, I was having some private time."

Naruto's nostrils flared. "We needed you. We could have died," Naruto said with growing outrage. "You left and you never even told us where you went!"

Kakashi paused, carefully straightening up. His eye narrowed. "Hold on…" he said, turning to face Naruto. "Are you seriously blaming me because I wasn't there to pull your asses out of trouble?"

Naruto's eyes bulged, body tensing. Kakashi tilted his head as he looked at Naruto critically. "Ah," Kakashi continued slowly, shaking his head. "I think there might be a bit of a misconception here. You see, I am _not_ your teacher. You are _not_ my student. There isn't school, and it _not_ my job to constantly hold your hand. I _refuse_ to treat you like a child."

Kakashi folded his arms. "I am your _instructor_ ," he said. "And you are my _soldiers_. Make no mistake about that."

Naruto glared. "But you–!"

" _No_." Kakashi said sharply. "You cannot expect me to constantly be there, watching out for you and wiping your bum. That is not how this works. Rather, I expect _you_ to act as the reasonable, trained ninja that you _should_ be."

Naruto bristled. "The bandits attacked us!" Naruto bellowed. "They were too strong and we're only genin! And _you let it happen!_ "

"I, as your _commanding officer_ , took every reasonable precaution," Kakashi retorted. "I set up camp, I secured the surrounding area, and I ensured that there were watches established the surrounding the site. In return, I expected that my genin would be mature and sensible enough to survive for forty minutes without falling into mortal peril. _Forty minutes_. That's how long I was gone. Do you honestly expect me to be by your side every forty minutes, constantly?"

" _There were bandits!_ "

"Two miles away!" Kakashi objected. "That's how far the bandits were from our campsite. Part of the 'mature and sensible' bit is that I expect you not to wander out of the secure perimeter and charge into a group of bandits two miles away!"

"That was Sasuke!" Naruto shouted.

"Oh, I know," Kakashi muttered darkly. "And I also know that you tried very hard to rescue both Hinata and Sasuke. As a matter of fact, that display of comradery is the only reason why I'm not very, very angry right now."

Naruto hesitated. There was something in Kakashi's tone that made him pause. "Don't worry," Kakashi continued. "I fully intend to bollock Sasuke for his actions as well. However, of all the actions that _you_ could have taken, do you really think that your choices were so much better?"

"I was just trying to save him!" Naruto protested. "I saw the smoke, I followed him, and then the bandits caught me!"

"And then you thought that the best response was to launch an all-out frontal assault against a larger, older and more experienced group of opponents?" Kakashi argued. "You charged straight against a clearly superior enemy. How could you ever do that and _not_ expect to suffer deaths?"

Naruto floundered slightly. "I didn't know that would happen!"

"Because you didn't take any time to _look_ ," Kakashi said sharply. "You charged in headfirst and the only difference was that, this time, the kid-gloves were off. Considering your powers I could _maybe_ understand your clones doing that, but bringing Hinata along with you? Your actions could have gotten the entire team killed. It could have ended so much worse, and that is on you, not me."

"No!" Naruto shouted, stamping his foot. "Don't twist it around like that! They might have killed Sasuke! You weren't there, so I had to act! _Me!_ "

"And rather than all of the reasonable choices you could have made, you went straight for the suicidal assault? If Sasuke was a hostage, how could that have _ever_ saved him?" Kakashi said sharply. "Rather than, I don't know, _firing up a flare_ that I would have able to see, you went with 'ok, these nineteen with me, this one go running around in circles in the woods like a headless chicken'? You could have used your numbers to your advantage, you could have stayed hidden and distracted them, you could have led them on a false trail, you could have had a clone whip around and rescue Sasuke while the cave was empty. Instead, you chose to go straight for the blind frontal attack, and you ended up with a body count." Kakashi shook his head regretfully. "What did you expect to happen?"

Naruto's mouth dropped open. Kakashi sighed. There was a moment of silence as Kakashi's rant died away. Naruto stared at the jounin suspiciously.

"You were there, weren't you?" He said finally.

"Yep." Kakashi nodded simply. "I heard the battle, and I arrived just as it was nearly over. However, once it became clear that they were taking you – or the surviving you – and Hinata hostage rather than killing, I waited. I kept my distance until they led me back to their camp, until I had sized up their numbers, until I had scouted around for reinforcements. Then, only when I was confident that I could take them, that was when I made my approach."

Naruto's gaze flickered slightly. "Rather than a sudden attack, that might have spooked them and gotten a hostage killed, I went in slow. I presented myself as a low threat, encouraging them to leave their cave and move away from you three, and, when their attention was firmly diverted, I killed them," Kakashi explained. He paused, looking at Naruto seriously. "Do you understand Naruto? I get to act carefree and lazy because I know that I'm experienced and strong enough to do so safely. You don't have that luxury. Not yet, at least."

There was a pause. The clearing was quiet. Naruto's face twisted, his hands clenching into fists. Kakashi's gaze softened. "Are you having the nightmares?" The jounin asked softly.

Naruto hesitated. "…It's not nightmares, it's more…"

"Flashbacks," Kakashi agreed, sympathy glinting in his eye. "Constantly replaying the moments in the back of your mind. Obsessing over every move you made. Yeah, I know how that feels."

Naruto didn't respond. "And I know you probably won't believe me," Kakashi continued quietly. "But it does get easier."

"Hmph," Naruto muttered, eyes flickering. His body was still tense. "…So what happens now?"

"Now?" Kakashi mused. "Well, I'm completely willing to chalk the whole incident up as a learning experience and move on. There were mistakes, but you also displayed a lot of potential too. So now I guess we get going, arrive at the village, and finish our mission. Getting the job done is another big part of what it means to be a ninja."

He motioned towards the remaining corpses. Naruto grimaced, but wordlessly picked up the jars of acid and walked forward. Slowly, a steady rhythm descended over the clearing. It really did become like routine.

Naruto was uncharacteristically reserved, thinking quietly to himself. It was only when they were nearly finished did he speak up.

"I wasn't strong enough," Naruto announced finally, voice cracking slightly. "If I had been stronger, I could have…"

Kakashi paused, and then sighed. "No," he said gently. "That's not the problem."

"But those bandits just walked all over me!" Naruto protested. "I should have been–"

"Naruto, you've been out of the academy for what? A couple of months?" Kakashi reminded him. "Each of those bandits must have had _decades_ of experience fighting, killing and surviving. I would never expect you to be able to win against a group of them. You should never expect yourself to be able to win either."

"But I'm falling behind!"

"No, you're not," Kakashi said simply, rubbing his mask. "Honestly, Naruto, you're exactly where I would expect you to be."

Naruto looked ready to object. Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, one of the reasons why I haven't exactly been stressing myself out about training you is that, well, you're completely and utterly on target."

Naruto frowned. "What?"

"Ok… Let's see…" Kakashi mused, counting on his fingers. "What I would expect from any genin at your level… I would expect at least one C rank or higher technique that they can use with reliable proficiency… I would expect a fighting style based around that technique… I would expect at least rudimentary understanding in all other forms of combat, as well as a mix of basic experience with ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu… and I would expect…" He thought about it. "No, actually, that's about it. You've got all that, Naruto. There's no reason to give you special training because you're perfectly steady."

Naruto blinked. "But… but… I don't know anything…"

"Compare yourself to every other genin you graduated with, then," Kakashi suggested. "Sasuke has his fireball technique, most others have their clan secret techniques, but they're all in the same sort of range. You're not dead last, Naruto, you're probably towards the front of the group. Hell, there are genin taking the chunin exams with the same level of abilities you've got."

Naruto never knew how to reply. Kakashi's eye focused on him solemnly. "As far as me, the Hokage or even the whole village is concerned, you're doing just fine. The only one who doesn't think the same is you."

He paused for a few seconds. "But I don't think this is about how strong you are. Not really," the jounin said finally. "Do you want to tell me what's really bothering you?"

For a while, it didn't look like Naruto was about to respond. His body was tense, he looked uncomfortable. Kakashi was just about to nod and turn away, when Naruto spoke up.

"You killed them," he said finally. "Last night, you killed them all."

Kakashi nodded. "Yep," the jounin agreed. "I didn't even hesitate either."

The accusation flared in Naruto's eyes. " _Why?_ That man _surrendered_!"

"Because they were murderers," Kakashi replied. "They didn't hesitate when they were slaughtering you, did they? I have no idea how many people those bandits must have killed during their careers, but judging from their attitude and the size of their stash, I'm guessing quite a few."

"You could have taken them captive," Naruto said harshly.

"I could have. If I had wanted to, I could have restrained them all quite easily," Kakashi admitted. "But then what? I carry them to the nearest constable and risk one of them escaping along the way? We're in the middle of nowhere; the nearest village would never be able to restrain guys like that. I would have to march them all the way back to Konoha, and then that would start a paperwork nightmare trying decide whose jurisdiction they fall under and ship them out accordingly. Even after all that, those bandits would have still just been sent to the gallows somewhere in the end." Kakashi shrugged. "Instead, I saved everybody a whole lot of time and hassle and just killed them here."

Naruto shook his head. "No, it was wrong. It was _murder_."

"Yes, it was." Kakashi nodded. "And I'm a ninja."

The genin struggled to reply. "If you want, you can talk to the Konoha legal department when we get back," Kakashi suggested helpfully. "Oh, it'd get a bit complicated because I wasn't actually on an authorised mission at the time, but, no, I was well within my rights when I killed them."

Naruto choked. "And just like that?" He demanded. "You killed them and 'so what?' Nobody cares and no regrets."

"Eventually," Kakashi muttered under his breath. Louder, he said. "So that it, then? You couldn't take a life when you had the chance."

Naruto hesitated. A moment flashed before his eyes. He had the kunai in his hands and the bandit's throat was defenceless. Naruto could have killed the man. Instead, at the last second, his arms froze. His body stopped like something flicked a switch and suddenly Naruto just couldn't do it. Instead, he rammed the kunai into the shoulder instead.

That body then died for that split second decision of mercy. The other clones died very quickly later. _But that was the problem wasn't it?_ Naruto thought bitterly. _The bandits had been fighting life or death while I was still wearing kid-gloves…_

Naruto cast his eyes over the line of what used to corpses staining the grass. Kakashi's words echoed in his head. _What did you expect…?_

"Am I expected to kill as a ninja?" Naruto asked finally, his voice low, not meeting Kakashi's gaze.

There was a humourless half-smile flickering across Kakashi's eye. "If you had asked that question twenty years ago, the answer would have certainly been yes," Kakashi replied simply. The ninja wars had been a very different era in a lot of ways. "But we live in different times now, and Konoha is one of the more… _enlightened_ Hidden Villages. _No_ , Naruto; nobody is going to force you to take a life if you're not ready to do it."

Naruto paused. "…So ninjas aren't assassins?"

"Many are," Kakashi admitted. "But in recent times there are a growing number of ninjas that act as scouts, intelligence agents, or special ops that don't kill. If you refuse to cross that line, then there are some missions that you won't be able to take, but otherwise there's no requirement on you."

There was a pause. " _However_ ," Kakashi added. "If you _are_ capable of doing it, well, that's not exactly a hindrance either, not in this line of work."

Naruto nodded. He felt numb. He could still remember the feeling of the kunai in his hand, the man's throat barely a foot away…

It was enough to make his head spin.

"I don't think I could," Naruto admitted finally, hands shaking. "…I don't think I could ever kill someone…"

Kakashi nodded. "Alright then," he said simply.

With that, they both simply turned around and went back to work. When they were done, Kakashi placed the clean-up kit back into the scroll, and showed Naruto how to seal it up again.

"Here," Kakashi offered, handing Naruto the scroll. "You should keep this."

Naruto took the scroll gingerly. He hesitated slowly, before moving to walk away back to camp. Kakashi stayed behind to light all of the bloody clothes on fire.

"Naruto," Kakashi called suddenly. The genin halted. "I'm not going to pressure you, but there's just something I want to make sure you think about."

Naruto turned slowly. "…If these bodies were of your team instead of your clones," Kakashi asked quietly, motioning to the dark stains on the ground. "…Do you think you would be able to kill then?"

He never replied.

* * *

Team 7 left the campsite late morning. There was very little conversation. No one was in the mood for talking as they woke up, made breakfast, got washed and packed everything up. Hinata could barely even look at Naruto, and Sasuke retreated into himself, glaring furiously at the ground, shoulders tense. Kakashi left them in silence while they packed up camp, barely even giving them instructions.

Still, just before they were about to leave, Kakashi called Sasuke over, and the two of them walked off into the woods for a bit. Naruto wasn't close enough to overhear what was said, but at one point he was sure he heard a faint muffle that sounded like Sasuke screaming at the top of his lungs. When they returned, Kakashi looked as impassive as ever, but Sasuke was so tense that his body was trembling.

Nobody said a word as they started walking again, moving through the forest at a fast pace, overloaded backpacks hunched over their shoulders. With so many of Naruto's clones dead, they couldn't carry everything they had brought. A lot of the belongings had to be left behind.

They were walking down a rundown trail, through the twisted woodland. At one point, Naruto shifted his backpack slightly, and then winced a jab of pain shot down his arm. His hand grabbed his wrist suddenly. Kakashi glanced at him. "You alright?" The jounin asked curiously.

"Fine," Naruto mumbled, pulling his sleeve up. "… Just a scrape."

On his lower arm, there was a large cut from when he had been knocked onto the ground. It was very shallow, but still raw and painful. Kakashi frowned, slightly perplexed. "Hasn't it healed yet?"

"No," Naruto replied quizzically, glancing at the injury. "Why would it?"

Kakashi didn't reply, but there was a slight flicker in his eye. Naruto frowned at the weird question, but they kept on walking. Pretty soon, the silence was so thick in the air it was suffocating.

It was one of the most stressful journeys that Naruto had ever taken. Nobody spoke, except for Kakashi's occasional directions, but the air was thick with all the words that they were trying to say. Sasuke walked at the front of the group, glaring into the distance, fists clenched tightly, while Hinata lagged at the back, eyes on the ground, but occasionally she would glance upwards with almost shame.

For Naruto, one clone walked in the middle of the group while the other acted as a forward scout, walking maybe fifteen minutes ahead of the group. After about two hours of walking, they finally re-joined the main road. Another half an hour later, Naruto came across a signpost, at a crossroads. Their destination, Hannobe village in the Land of Coasts, was still another seventeen miles away.

Naruto stood staring upwards at the sign for a while. _Ah, screw it_ , Naruto thought finally, before walking in the other direction. _I'm done being their scout_.

His other body could stay with the group, but he might as well try and do something interesting to distract from the awkward tension his clone had to suffer. Without even thinking about it, Naruto picked a different direction and started walking in it. If anyone asked, his other body got lost. He could catch with the group later, if he really needed to.

 _After all_ , Naruto thought with a touch of bitterness, _all of my clones are totally expendable, aren't they?_

He was in a bad mood. He knew he was in a bad mood, and he knew he was being stupid, but it didn't change how he felt. He just wanted to do something stupid and reckless to try and take his mind off it all.

For the first time in his life, Naruto felt a shimmer of doubt as he started to wonder if he really wanted to be a ninja.

 _I grew up in a Hidden Village_ , Naruto thought slowly. It was the only real career open to him. He couldn't even remember a moment when there had been any doubt if he wanted to be anything other than a ninja. It had just been a constant certainty throughout his life and he really, really didn't like the way he was feeling now. _So do I actually want to be Hokage, to be a ninja, because that's my dream, or because it's the only dream I've ever been able to have?_

The feeling of that kunai in his hand never left his mind. Slowly, Naruto started to think of all the people he admired, the Hokage, Iruka, and he wondered how many of them would be willing to slit a throat if the job demanded it.

_How many of the other genin would be able to kill like that? It had been life or death for me and I just hadn't been able to do it…_

Naruto grunted, slamming his foot on the ground. In an instant, he started sprinting, full speed, down the road.

_Do I really want to be acknowledged so badly that I'll kill for it?_

" _Damn it!_ " Naruto screamed, shouting at the empty countryside. He hated thinking like this. He wanted to punch something, to do something, just to get his mind of it. _I need to get out of my head_ , he decided firmly.

In the distance, his ears flickered at a faint rustle of activity. Naruto turned, to see a stone building nestled by the side of the road, with carriage unloading around the back. It took a few seconds for Naruto to identify it. _An inn_ , he realised slowly. Doubtlessly catering for the travellers around the road.

Without a flicker of doubt, Naruto headed straight for the inn. The idea hit him quickly and, after all, he had absolutely nothing to lose with this body. Inns have bars in them, he decided, and bars had alcohol. Old enough to fight, old enough to drink.

The inn wasn't very big, but it was fairly cramped. Naruto had to duck past two large burly man to get in, and suddenly he realised that he stuck out a light a sore thumb. He was wearing his orange tracksuit in a room filled with men wearing grey overalls. Naruto was by far the smallest and youngest man there. He felt incredibly self-conscious as he walked towards the counter, but then, after a few seconds, he realised that nobody cared.

Naruto took a seat on a nearby barstool. The bartender glanced at him curiously. "I want a drink!" Naruto called, raising his voice to be heard over the dim rustle of the inn.

The bartender frowned. "How old are you, kid?"

Naruto pointed firmly to his headband. "I'm a ninja."

The man looked like he was about to protest for a second, but then shrugged. "Whatever," he said simply, clearly uninterested. "How about a beer?"

Naruto nodded. In Konoha there were age restrictions in bars, but in a place like this nobody really cared. Naruto was just another customer. The bartender poured a large mug, while Naruto rummaged in his Gama-chan wallet for the coins.

The beer was thick, pale and frothy. It had a heavy, bitter taste and a vaguely pungent smell. At the first sip, Naruto's face twisted in disgust, but he drunk it nevertheless. He then ordered another one. By the third beer, he stopped noticing the taste.

Naruto sighed, feeling a slight tingle growing in his head. Every time he moved his balance felt slightly off. The bar was crowded and filled with workmen, but nobody paid him any attention. No cold glares, no curling sneers. A couple of curious comments, but nothing pointed. His skin tingled slightly as he realised how much no one minded his presence.

In Konoha, Naruto was the demon fox. He was the outcast, the freak to be avoided. Every day he went out he could feel the glares on his skin. There had never been any violence or even outright hatred – but somehow that cold neglect had always felt worse.

There had been times when Naruto had wished it had been violent or physically abusive. He would have been able to confront it then. If they had screamed or thrown stones, he could have screamed back and thrown bigger stones. That would have been abuse that the Hokage could have stopped. Instead, it had never been burning hatred like that; it had always been cold, passive disregard.

Naruto's hands twitched as he stared into his half-empty mug. There had been nothing he could do against that type of hatred. You can't force someone to smile at you in the street. You couldn't make someone be friendly and you couldn't stop that coldness in their eyes or the clenching of their jaws. Naruto might have been able to shrug it off, but not when he was surrounded by it. Not when everyone he looked at had that same silent hatred, for all of those years…

The thought still made him shudder.

 _Violence would have definitely been easier_ , Naruto thought silently. Physical pain wouldn't have lasted so long.

But the scary thing, the really, really nightmarishly scary thing, was that when Naruto started thinking like that, then suddenly the whole idea of plunging a kunai through a skull didn't seem so difficult so more.

 _What would it be like_ , he wondered quietly, _if I just…_ let go _and became the demon fox that they all clearly think I am?_

_Could I really punch straight through a man's chest and then smile about it?_

But the troubling thing was that Naruto wasn't even sure if he wanted the answer to be 'yes' or 'no'.

 _They'd definitely acknowledge you then, wouldn't they?_ A voice in his head seemed to whisper.

Naruto's hands clenched. He downed the last of his mug in two large gulps. "Another drink," he said firmly, glaring at the bar. Suddenly more beer seemed like the best solution around.

The genin sunk into his stool, losing himself in the buzz of the bar and the next drink. Naruto wasn't sure how much beer he could drink, but he wanted to find out. It was easier just to listen into the all the casual conversations around him than try and sort out his own head.

The drinks kept on coming. The bar started to spin more and more. Sometime later in the night, he overheard a table of workmen chatting about a nearby village and its moose problem. Naruto laughed so hard he nearly fell off his stool.

"Damn, I heard about that moose!" A man chuckled. It was hard for Naruto to focus on the words through the haze in his head. "Why don't they just chase it away already?"

"What? And ruin the fucking fun?" Another retorted with a hearty laugh.

"Ha! Apparently they even went out and hired some bloody ninjas to get rid of it!"

Naruto's ears prickled. A man with a bushy beard grunted. "Ba! Ninjas!" He said derisively. "Aren't they too busy throwing stars around or whatever?"

A man laughed. "Hey, why are ninjas bad at sex?" He joked with a wide grin, glancing around the group. "… Because no one ever sees them coming!"

There were a few low laughs. Naruto blinked repeatedly, before slumping off his stool. He nearly tripped over as he tried to stand, glaring at the workmen. "Take that back!" Naruto shouted suddenly, taking them all by surprise.

There was a moment of surprised silence. Naruto's head was spinning so furiously he could barely see, but his mouth was still stammering. "Nin… nin… _ninjas_ are a noble tradition!" He shouted, slurring almost incoherently. He was angry, troubled and felt like a mean drunk. Anger was simpler. "Don't you disrespect them!"

The men shared a glance with each other, and then started chuckling. Behind him, the barman sighed. "That's it, kid, you're cut off."

Naruto's face was flushed bright red. There were people laughing at him as he staggered in the middle of the bar. "No!" He gulped. His hands instinctively went to his trousers, clutching tightly on a kunai as he hoisted it into the air. Naruto stabbed the kunai into the bar, so drunk that he nearly lost his grip of the handle. "I am a ninja! A _nin-j-a_!"

The mood changed slightly as the eyes focused on the sharp metal blade in Naruto's hand. The bartender stayed as still as statue, glaring at Naruto. A man approached him, brazen but slightly cautious, keeping his distance. "Get out of here, punk," he said firmly, pointing with his thumb towards the door.

Naruto whipped around, clutching his kunai. "No!" He screamed drunkenly. "I'm a ninja and I want anot–"

Without a moment of hesitation, behind him the bartender smoothly grabbed a heavy wooden bat from beneath the counter and swung it in a swift swipe. Naruto's voice cut off instantly as the thump hit him on the back of his head. He crumpled to the sticky floor smoothly.

"…Ow…!" Naruto moaned, so dizzy he almost collapsed. He blacked out for a bit, but he was vaguely away of heavy footsteps around him, and a sharp boot to his stomach that sent rolling on the ground, the middle of the heaving bar. A hand grabbed his collar and tried to drag him out, but Naruto twisted and squirmed against the grip, so drunk he couldn't even process what was happening amidst the chaos of stomping boots and heavy bodies.

Then, a soft hand wrapped around his, gently pulling him to one side. "Come on…" A gentle voice whispered, soothingly but firmly pushing him upwards. Naruto remembered stumbling over the steps on the back door of the bar, while someone lifted him over the courtyard and rested him against a wall.

Naruto sagged and slumped onto the muddy ground. He wasn't quite blacked out, but he could feel his consciousness sinking away. He was groaning incoherently as he felt his hands being wrapped around a warm cup of liquid.

"Here," a voice said kindly, lifting the container to his lips. "Drink this."

The strong taste of the liquid hit him like a wrecking ball. It was thick, sticky, but with a taste that burnt through his body. Naruto nearly gagged, but there were hands there, gently but firmly keeping the cup at his mouth. Naruto's eyes glimpsed the sight of a pale face, dark eyes and long black hair, right until a warm towel was placed over his forehead and the stranger gently laid him backwards, hand on his shoulder.

"That's alright," the voice muttered. Naruto's body relaxed, slowly feeling the fog start to fade away.

The minutes passed silently. That drunken, aimless anger ebbed away gradually. Naruto sighed, taking deep breaths, but that hand stayed on his shoulder the entire time. Naruto wasn't sure if he did actually fall unconscious or not, but then sometime later he was dragging himself up, groaning as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

It took him a few seconds to process his surroundings. He was at the back of the inn, behind the stables and lying behind the rubbish bins. It looked well-past dusk, Naruto realised. He could feel the presence of his other bodies, tingling slightly in the back of his mind, but it was like the alcohol was blocking the connection. He groaned as he tried to sit up, head spinning woozily.

"Ah, you're up," a voice called kindly. "Get some coffee in you and get moving when you're ready."

Naruto turned to see a girl wearing a pink, baggy, sleeveless kimono, with long black hair draping over her shoulders, as well as light brown sandals and a dark choker around her neck. She was young, she looked teenage, but she carried herself like someone older. Her arms were folded, looking down at Naruto interestedly. She had large, dark brown eyes that focused on Naruto with a mixture of sympathy and curiously.

Naruto glanced around in shock, before groaning with his throbbing head. The girl smiled, moving to sit down next to him against the wall.

"You'll be alright," she said kindly. Her voice sounded strangely traditional for someone so young. "Just get plenty of liquids in you, the pounding will clear."

Naruto looked at her weakly, struggling to think of what to say. The silence stretched out and nothing came to him. "You deal with this often?" He asked lamely.

She shrugged. "On occasion," she admitted. "My master gets pretty badly drunk when he goes in one of his moods. I've learned how to deal with it."

Naruto didn't respond, shifting guilty. The girl glanced at him. "You ok?"

Naruto nodded. "Fine."

"Really?" The girl said curiously, a smile playing around her lips. "Generally when I'm fine I don't get drunk and scream at a bar for no reason."

Naruto choked. "It's… it's…" He struggled to find the words. "… It's personal."

"Ninja stuff?" She asked, holding out her hand. She was holding his forehead protector. The fabric was stained with beer.

Naruto took it sheepishly. "Yeah," he admitted. He held the forehead protector tightly but he didn't put it on.

"Huh," the girl said simply, with a nod. "Well, not very ninja-like. Anyone of those men could have killed you if you when you were blacked-out drunk."

Naruto chuckled humourlessly. "It honestly wouldn't have made any difference if they did," he said truthfully. His body was completely and utterly expendable.

She frowned, eyes flickering. "And what about me? I could have robbed you blind and dumped you in a ditch."

Naruto shook his head, shoulders slumped. "You wouldn't have. You're a good person."

"Really?" She smiled at the definite statement. "Am I?"

"Yes," Naruto nodded firmly. "You helped me. That makes you a good person."

There was a pause. Her expression was completely unreadable. "Does it now?" she muttered softly.

There was a moment of quiet. Naruto could still hear the vague voices from the bar, as well as the sound of the carriages at the front, but the moment seemed strangely still. The girl sat next to him, quiet and unobtrusive.

"So do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" She asked finally.

Naruto stiffened. "Why do you care?" He said prickly.

"I'm just curious," she said with a slight shrug. "My master and I were just travelling through, I saw you at the bar, and it just seemed strange." There was a pause. "You're from Konoha, right?"

Naruto nodded. The girl hesitated, barely noticeably. "Are you on a mission here?" She asked casually.

Naruto glanced at her. "I'm going to get rid of a moose," he admitted finally.

There was a flicker of confusion in her eyes, followed by a sudden realisation. Her posture softened slightly. "Ah." She paused. " _Ah_." There was another brief pause as the girl recovered, and seemed to relax. Her smile was marginally more comfortable now. "Do you really need to drink so much just for that, then?" She asked with a quick grin.

Naruto shook his head. "It's not…" He grimaced, turning to look at her. Her eyes were dark, kind and compassionate. The air was quiet. Naruto relented. "… Could you kill someone if you had to?" He asked finally.

She paused, considering the unexpected question. "If I had to," she repeated simply. "Yes."

There wasn't an iota of doubt in that answer. Naruto nodded forlornly, hands clenching. The girl looked at him up and down. "Could _you_?" She asked curiously.

Naruto bit his lip. "I… I don't know," he said lamely. "But I'm a ninja, right? I'm not sure if I'll have a choice."

The girl paused, thinking about it. Anyone else might have disagreed with that statement. "Yeah," she agreed. "You don't always get a choice. But what about you? What do you want?"

That was getting a harder question to answer every single day. A pained expression flickered over Naruto's face, struggling to think of an answer he felt comfortable with. "I don't want things the way they are now," he managed finally.

She stayed quietly, digesting the statement slowly. Naruto glanced at her uncertainly. "Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yes," she replied honestly. "Yes, I understand."

The silence stretched on for a bit longer. Neither of them talked. Naruto shifted. "I'm sorry," he managed awkwardly. "This isn't your problem, I should–"

"Have you ever been alone?" She said suddenly, her voice serious. Naruto blinked in surprise.

"What?"

"Have you ever been alone?" The girl tilted her head, examining Naruto curiously. "Maybe there were people around you, but have you been so isolated that no one even looks at you? Have you ever gone months, years, without even having a proper conversation with someone? Have ever been so lonely that you're not even sure about what being normal is?"

Naruto froze. His eyes widened in surprise. There was a long pause. "Yes," he said finally.

The girl nodded, with a sympathetic little smile. "I thought so. You have that look to you." She paused. "Eventually you can see it the eyes."

They stared at each other. The girl hesitated. "It's a little theory that I have," she admitted. "I think that everybody is born with a switch inside their head. It's a… an _inhibitor_. It's that little bit that cares about everyone, no matter who or what they. It's that empathy. It's the force that causes you to hold back on your punches, or aim for the stomach instead of the head. The inhibitor is what stops you from hurting other people." There was a pause. "It's the same thing that stops you from hurting yourself."

Naruto blinked in surprise. The girl continued quietly, staring at him solemnly. "Some people have a stronger inhibitor than others, but it's always there. Most don't even realise it." She muttered, her voice low. "It's that _connection_. But then, for people who spent so long being alone, then slowly that connection just seems to… stop."

The girl slowly stood up. "For people who spent their time being that isolated, then slowly that inhibitor just fades away until there's nothing left."

Their eyes met. Naruto stared. "What happens when it's gone?" He asked eventually.

She smiled, a said little smile. "Nothing," she replied simply. "You stop needing that connection, you can live without. The loneliness isn't so cold and the isolation doesn't sting. You stop seeing the person anymore, they're just objects. And you can even get better at your job. It doesn't become that hard anymore if you don't miss what you don't have."

She shrugged. "That's what people don't understand. It's really not that hard to kill someone," she admitted. "If you want to stop the pain, then you've just got to distance yourself. The further away you get, the easier it is. Sooner or later, they're not people anymore."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. The girl's eyes didn't flicker. "And it's great. It's _easy_." she said slowly. "… It's easy right up until the day you stare into a mirror… but there isn't a person staring back at you. At that point, you're just an object. A _weapon_."

He didn't reply. He didn't know how. Naruto just stared at her speechlessly. The girl chuckled under her breath, straightening up.

"So do me favour," she said softly, walking closer to him. "Whatever you do, don't lose that inhibitor. That doubt, that confusion, that pain, that you're feeling now, that's _good_. It's only when you don't feel anything at all when you know something has gone horribly wrong. Keep the connection alive at all costs."

She was standing very close to him now. The air felt still. "I… I…" Naruto gulped. "How?"

Her eyes flickered. She took another half step. "I don't know," she admitted. "I never did figure that one out. But once you lose that inhibitor, you can't ever get it back."

Naruto didn't reply. His head felt so sluggish that he couldn't respond. They were about two feet away from each other now. For half a second, it looked like she was about to take another step closer.

"Haku!" A voice shouted suddenly. A loud, gruff male voice, walking towards them. "Where the hell are you? We need to get going!"

"Coming!" She replied. Naruto was about to talk a look, when the girl, Haku, pushed him backwards behind the bins, out of view. She motioned for him to stay down quietly, before casually walking away.

"I've got to go," she said simply, with another smile. "Maybe we'll meet later?"

He nodded dumbly. Naruto was left standing against the wall, watching her walk away, struggling to make sense of what just happened. He looked at her walk up, while her words echoed in his head. She was nearly out of view. Naruto wanted to find say something, but his mouth froze.

"I still think you're a good a person!" He shouted suddenly. The words felt incredibly lame as soon as they were out of his mouth, but Haku still turned around and smiled brightly.

"I know you do," she replied. She was smiling, but her eyes said what she really thought. _But I don't_.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

They saw the Hannobe village near dusk. It had been a very slow, quiet trek. Kakashi didn't push any of his genin any further, but his eye was always alert, picking up on every detail.

Hinata had spiralled into herself. Kakashi could recognise the self-blame and doubt clearly. Nobody had mentioned it aloud, but in the fight she had been the least useful one out of all three, and no one was obsessing over it more than her. Severe confidence issues, Kakashi decided. Unsurprising, really, considering her upbringing.

Sasuke was just as bad. He would never admit it out loud, but he knew how badly he screwed up. His whole Uchiha arrogance had taken a severe blow and Sasuke didn't know how to cope that. Failure was something that Sasuke couldn't handle.

It was Naruto that was bugging him, slightly. Kakashi wasn't sure how Naruto would react. Kakashi had expected some outburst or reckless action, but instead Naruto seemed strangely subdued, distant. The whole trip and Naruto had barely said a word. _He's somewhere else_ , Kakashi realised, _in another body_.

In any case, they were here. "Well," Kakashi said finally, looking out over the town. "First thing first, let's find somewhere to stay for the night."

When they found an inn, Hinata and Sasuke went to unpack. Naruto seemed to hold back, standing by the stairs, staring out into space, thinking out something intently. Perhaps something was happening with another body. Kakashi eyed him curiously as he passed.

"Sensei," Naruto said suspiciously, speaking up for the first time in hours. His voice was low, and serious.

Kakashi turned, seemingly completely carefree. "Hmm?"

The genin hesitated for a few seconds. "…You know…" he said slowly, eyes narrowing. "… What are the odds that we just _happened_ to set up camp in the same vicinity as a group of bandits?"

Kakashi's raised eyebrow curiously. Naruto folded his arms. "Those bandits had been there for a while," he said slowly, remembering the cave. "Konoha must have gotten reports about the bandits in the area. And you knew exactly where to send the bounty after you killed them."

The jounin paused. "What are you suggesting?" he asked curiously, folding his arms.

Naruto stayed still. "Now maybe we did mess up badly…" he admitted, before continuing. "But if I was a _really_ suspicious person I would wonder… maybe you accepted an A-rank assassination mission on the side, and set us up there just to see how we would do."

Kakashi scratched his mask absentmindedly. He thought about it for a while. The seconds ticked away. "Well… you were the one who wanted better missions," Kakashi recalled, glancing at his student. "… So then, _are_ you a really suspicious person?"

He didn't reply for a while. Naruto thought about it for a long time. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, but, slowly, they began to relax.

"I don't think it really it matters," Naruto said finally, before slowly walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes:
> 
> I figured that this fic has been fairly neglected for a while, so I'm going to start focusing on it a bit more. The next chapter should be uploaded next week sometime.
> 
> Next time: 'A Ninja's Tool'...


	9. A Ninja's Tool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't tell the warden that I own Naruto or a Molotov cocktail made out fermented prison food.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was clear, and the surrounding valleys were incredibly scenic. Everything was quiet in the field as dawn slowly settled over the horizon.

Well, mostly quiet. The sound of grunting did somewhat distract from the picturesque view.

"…Well, _damn_ ," Kakashi said finally, folding his arms.

Sasuke's face was frozen white, stiff and unflinching. By contrast, Hinata's cheeks practically glowed bright red, hidden in the collar of her jacket. Naruto stood opposite her, eye's bulging and mouth hanging open.

Kakashi was the only one who seemed to be enjoying himself. Honestly, Kakashi was wishing he'd brought a camera.

"I mean, _seriously_ , damn," Kakashi muttered with a low whistle. "He really wasn't kidding about the whole nine inches thing, was he?"

Nobody replied. From this distance, they were far enough away that the scene was blurred. Still, it was absolutely unmistakeable what they were seeing.

The stone horse, which once stood proudly on the main road to the village, had been completely rammed off its pedestal. Kakashi tried to imagine the situation as its crafter had envisioned; proud, noble and dignified. That craftsman would probably be having a haemorrhage around about now.

The horse had fallen, snout-first, into the dirt. One of its legs was cracked, and its ear had been broken off. Its side was scraped and battered from hoof scratches. Still, despite everything, the moose was still there, mounting the statue from behind and thrusting with guttural grunts. The sound alone was enough to make Naruto need a shower.

The minutes passed slowly. The grunts were a dull, consistent drone in the background. It took a long time for any of the genin to recover from the sight.

"That's a big moose," Naruto muttered finally, scratching his head. The bull moose was much bigger than a man, a huge hulking goliath of a fur, muscle and antlers.

"I know, right?" Kakashi said with a cheeky expression as he peered in closer.

Hinata gulped. They had been specifically forbidden from killing the moose. Much to the village's appalment, the animal had been declared something of a local mascot. "…This might be more difficult than we thought," Hinata admitted, sheepishly.

"Yeah, it looks pretty hard to me," Kakashi commented cheerfully.

Sasuke shook his head slowly, staring incredulously at the moose. "Why the hell is it even doing this?"

"Maybe it's a racial statement?" Kakashi suggested happily. "… 'And _that's_ what I think of your species, _horse!_ '"

Sasuke twisted around. "Are you just going to stand there are make moose sex jokes!?" He snapped.

"That was pretty much my whole plan, yes," Kakashi admitted. He pulled out a sheet of paper from pocket. "Look, I made I list of them."

Sasuke's jaw clenched. Kakashi could see his patience rapidly burning away. _Perhaps, just this once, I won't push him_ , Kakashi conceded.

Kakashi sighed. "Alright, consider this your big teamwork challenge, then," Kakashi said brightly, standing up straight. "I will leave it totally up to you three to decide how to get the moose off the statue."

Hinata bristled. "Wait, you can't just leave us alone–"

Her voice seemed to falter. Kakashi raised his eyebrow slowly. "We're two minutes outside of town," Kakashi said simply. "The area is secure, and that's a _moose_. It seems perfectly reasonable to expect you to handle the situation."

Hinata's eyes flickered. She had become very nervous after the recent ordeal, sticking close to Kakashi at all times. By contrast, Naruto had seemed to be trying to keep his distance. Kakashi didn't really mind; everyone had their own ways of working through matters.

"Work together, and you can get the mission done by lunchtime," Kakashi said encouragingly. "If you're really fast, we'll be able to catch the next coach back to Konoha. Good luck, by the way."

With that, the jounin simply turned around and walked away, waving cheerfully. The sound of grunting in the distance seemed to increase in tempo. The three genin stared at the retreating Kakashi, and then towards the moose, and then back to each other. There was a quiet moment where they were all lost for words.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "Well then," he muttered finally. "What do we do now?"

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

The other Naruto clone groaned as he limped down the road. His head was woozy, his whole body sore and sluggish. The midday sun was torture to his hungover eyes. The morning had been hell, but he still had to move before the innkeeper chased him out.

 _I will never drink again_ , Naruto vowed quietly, staggering like a zombie down the empty road. His body was raw, and his wallet had been devastated. Honestly, at this point he was seriously considering just jumping off a cliff and writing this body off altogether.

Nevertheless, he kept on heading towards Hannobe village, and it was well past noon by the time he saw the village sprawling along the coast. It was a fairly backwater village; quite small, but with a relatively large harbour with small boats dotted around the water.

Naruto was just about to head towards their hotel room, when he hesitated. He had lost his mask, and the last thing he wanted was the landlord to wonder why there were two identical boys at different parts of the village. Unfortunately, the ninja had stuck out quite badly in the small village.

 _But I really need a shower and a drink_ , Naruto thought with a grimace. His body stunk of old booze and sweat. After a moment of hesitation, Naruto relented, turning away from the village and heading off the beaten road, towards where his other body had noticed a freshwater stream trickling through the forest at the edge of the village.

It took some time to scramble through the bushes, but eventually Naruto found an old animal trail leading down towards a small stream. He almost collapsed when he saw it. The woods were lovely and shaded, with only the faint sounds of birds in the distance, yet there was a little clearing with a pool that was absolutely perfect. The water tasted slightly sweet, but it was still enough to wake him up properly.

Naruto smirked as he slowly rested himself on the dirty ground. His other body had to battle a stubborn moose, but he could enjoy a nice relaxing afternoon recovering. Naruto unpacked his travel bag, tucked into his rations, before stripping down to his boxers, leaving his clothes out to air, and waddling into the stream to wash. For a while, he just sighed, sitting down in the shallow water and feeling the cool water trickle around him.

There was rustle behind him. Naruto jumped so suddenly he banged his head against a rock. Naruto glanced around, suddenly noticing a figure dressed in pink, carrying a handbasket. The recollection came sluggishly.

It was the same girl from last night, he remembered suddenly. Her eyes were strangely suspicious as she stared at Naruto. He blinked repeatedly.

"Are you following me?" Naruto said with surprise.

She hesitated, glancing around the scene. Naruto was still in his boxers, with his clothes hanging on a nearby branch. Naruto shifted to cover himself sheepishly. The girl seemed to untense slightly. "I was about to ask you the same question," she admitted finally.

Naruto nodded awkwardly. He paused, before splashing out of the water and rushing towards his clothes. He didn't have a towel, so he had to wear them wet. Naruto frowned as he tried to remember the girl's name. "It's… umm…" He asked muttered, face twisting. "…It's Haku, right?" She nodded. "What are you doing here?"

She looked cautious, staring at Naruto, looking for any sign that this wasn't just a coincidence. In the end, she replied carefully. "My master and I are camping in the woods," she answered, taking care not to motion towards the direction of their camp. "We were looking to book a ship from Hannobe."

Her eyes flickered around the deserted woods. "What about you? Don't you have a team?"

Naruto hesitated. "No, I'm…" He faltered slightly. "We were going to meet up, you know, for the moose mission, later in the evening. I'm just here for the… you know…" He motioned lamely towards the stream.

"Right." A flicker of concern passed her face quickly. "So your team is in Hannobe right now?"

Naruto nodded. Haku seemed to bite her lip, thinking intently. Naruto stared. "Are you alright?" He asked curiously.

"Yes, it's…" Haku paused, but seemed to relax. "…It's fine. Just surprised to see you again, that's all. I assumed you were waiting in that inn for the rest of your team. I didn't think we'd meet up again this soon."

"Ah." Naruto wondered how weird it must have seemed for a single genin to be getting drunk in the middle of the day. "Yeah, it was… badly organised."

There was a pause. The memory of last night seemed to hover in the air between them. Haku's gaze softened. "How are you?" She asked finally.

"Um, yeah, I'm good," Naruto said sheepishly.

Neither of them spoke. Naruto cleared his throat. "So… um… You're picking flowers, then?" He said lamely, pointing to the basket.

"I'm collecting herbs," Haku explained.

"Oh." Naruto nodded multiple times. "That's nice."

The silence stretched on for a bit longer. "Well I should let you get back to–" They both said at the exact same time. They froze.

Haku smiled. "Right."

"Yeah," Naruto murmured, scratching the back of his head. "See you later then."

Haku turned to walk away. She stopped after a few steps. "You know," she said slowly. "You're welcome to join me. I could use another set of eyes."

Naruto hesitated briefly. "If you're not busy, of course," Haku added.

"Um…"

* * *

_At the same time…_

"Can't we just throw stones at it until it goes away?" Naruto protested loudly.

Hinata shook her head. "The villagers tried that. It just seemed to egg him on further."

"We throw kunai, then," Sasuke muttered darkly.

"We're not allowed to kill!" Hinata protested.

"Define 'not kill'," Sasuke retorted.

Naruto screamed in frustration, glancing back towards the humping moose. If anything, it was like the animal was enjoying the spectators. "This is useless!"

"We've just got to calm him down a bit…" Hinata muttered under her breath, still red from embarrassment.

"Then we're going to need ice water," Naruto muttered in quiet despair. "Lots and lots of ice water…"

* * *

"…Nope," Naruto decided firmly. "Definitely not busy."

Haku nodded with a small smile. Naruto grinned brightly, rushing to put his sandals back on and wipe his hair a bit drier. He was still soaking wet, but it was a warm day and he'd dry quickly.

"So what are you looking for?" Naruto asked, peering into the basket, as they walked along an old trail.

"Medicinal herbs, mostly," Haku explained quietly. "These woods are fairly good for feverfew and echinacea, so that's what I'm mostly looking for. Still, if you see anything like basil, chamomile or lavender, they're always useful too."

"Huh?" Naruto muttered, scratching his head. "Feverfew? Echinacea?"

"Echinacea has pink petals with a darker bud. You can use it to ease flu symptoms and relieve the immune system," Haku explained. "Feverfew has white petals and a yellow bud – it looks kind of like daisies – and the leaves and flowers are used to ease headache pain."

"Wow," Naruto muttered. "You know a lot about this stuff."

"A bit," Haku admitted. She picked up another cutting from the basket. "This is lavender, of course, it's very good for pain relief and can be used as an antiseptic. This is lemon balm, great for teas and lots of different ointments. That's sage, which can be culinary as well as medicinal, but helps with inflammations. Oh, and that's rosemary – you can make a tea out of that which really helps with chakra control."

Naruto peered in interestedly, even as he struggled to tell the different herbs apart. "And what's this, then?" He asked, reaching down for a different plant.

"… And that's a nettle," Haku said, a second too late. She giggled quietly as Naruto yelped, shaking his hand. She innocently pointed out a different leaf to ease the stinging.

The discussion of herbology took them halfway around the woods. Haku was unused to talking so much, but Naruto was an attentive listener, and Haku began to relax more with every step. Slowly, they followed the trail upwards, into a field overlooking the coastline, and they stopped to stare out over the horizon.

"…So…" Haku muttered finally. "Are you feeling better today? You seemed pretty upset yesterday."

Naruto winced. "Yeah, it's just…" His voice mumbled off incoherently.

Haku's eyes flickered. "What actually happened?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

Naruto hesitated briefly. "I found out that my ideal job wasn't what I thought it was," he admitted, his voice low. "And I realised that I'm not as good at it as I thought I was."

Haku nodded, but didn't say anything. Naruto hesitated. "I've wanted to be a ninja for, well, forever," Naruto continued quietly, shifting his gaze. "I guess I never really thought about what it would require."

"You mean killing people?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, his voice low. "And I get it, ninjas are soldiers, it's just, well, that wasn't the type of ninja that I wanted to be."

Haku dropped the basket and sat down. "So what type of ninja do you want to be?" She asked quietly.

Naruto didn't answer straight away. "I want to be a _good_ ninja," he said finally. "I'm just not sure what that means anymore."

"Then find your own way," Haku suggested softly.

Naruto glanced at her. He paused in thought. "Is that what you did?" He said eventually, his voice deliberately casual. Haku didn't reply. Naruto continued. "You talk about all this stuff like you know it first-hand. You're a ninja too, aren't you?"

Haku was quiet for a long time. "No," she replied simply. Naruto was about to object when she continued. "I have never belonged to a Hidden Village, I have never undergone formal training. I am not a 'ninja'." There was a pause. "But if you're asking whether or not I know typical ninja techniques such as ninjutsu or taijutsu, then, yes I do. Some."

Naruto scratched his head. It seemed like a very roundabout way of answering. "So you're… a self-taught ninja?"

"In part," Haku admitted. "My master taught me plenty too."

"Oh," Naruto said simply, wondering what to say next. Eventually, he said nothing and just sat down on the ground next to her. There was a moment of quiet.

Eventually, Haku spoke. "In answer to your question," she said finally. "Then no; I found somebody else's way of a ninja."

"Are you happy with that?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Yes," Haku replied. "I am."

"Good."

The silence stretched out a bit further. They both sat on the grass, starting out into the sea. Haku glanced at Naruto slowly.

"You don't seem very curious about me," Haku noted, a slight edge to her voice. "I thought you would be asking more questions."

He shrugged. "Meh, it seems like you don't want to answer, so I won't ask," Naruto replied simply. Haku blinked in surprise. Naruto glanced at her and grinned brightly. "Besides, when a cute girl wants her privacy, it's only right to give her space."

Haku stared at him. The silence stretched out, longer than all the others.

"You do realise I'm a boy, right?"

Naruto blinked repeatedly. The words took some time to sink in.

"… _WHA!?_ "

* * *

Kakashi took a deep breath, eyes flickering over the scroll as he wondered what he was going to do. Kakashi didn't like to be unprepared; once he learned he was to be Naruto's supervisor, he had a made a point of searching for whatever useful information he could find on the Nine-Tails and Naruto's cloning technique.

 _It still wasn't much_ , Kakashi admitted. He only had six scrolls of relevant information, and most of them were at a level that even Kakashi couldn't understand. Kakashi was a fighter, first and foremost; he knew understood fairly little about the intricacies of advanced chakra theory and manipulation. Compared to the likes of the Second Hokage, or Hiruzen, or Orochimaru, Kakashi might as well have been a schoolchild trying to read a professor's paper.

Ever since he learned he was to be training Naruto, Kakashi had been practicing fuinjutsu. The jounin was a quick learner, but his skill was still very basic.

Kakashi paused. To be honest, he had yet to decide whether or not he had a problem.

From what he understood, Minato's seal had been designed to let some of the Nine-Tails' chakra mix with the container's own. A little bit of leakage actually made the seal stronger – it allowed the host to build resistance to the Nine-Tails' chakra, improve chakra reserves, as well as allowing the seal to flex with the situation. The seal might expand to release a large amount of chakra in drastic circumstances, but afterwards it would contract back to secure the Nine-Tail's again. The more flexible the seal was, the less likely it was that either the host or the seal would snap under the strain.

For jinchuuriki, there was a very real risk that the Tailed Beasts could induce insanity in the hosts if the seal began to degrade. It was one of the reasons that jinchuuriki had such a poor reputation (even if that reputation result in suspicion and mistreatment, which, in turn, often accelerated insanity). Minato's seal had most definitely given Naruto the best chance of one day being able to control the Nine-Tails power.

 _Yet there had been no way Minato could ever have predicted Naruto's cloning technique_ , Kakashi mused. _Not that the seal was weakening as a result – as far as I can tell, the seal is actually stronger than ever_.

There was still only one Nine-Tails, even if there were separate hosts. The Nine-Tails was a chakra entity more than a physical one; actual space was nearly meaningless to it. However, whereas before there had been one Nine-Tails, one host, and one seal, there was now one Nine-Tails, multiple hosts, and multiple seals. If there were a dozen different seals, then it meant the Nine-Tails was being bound a dozen times as tightly. The effect was cumulative. Every time Naruto used his cloning jutsu, he effectively tightened the Nine-Tails' seal.

 _Which means that it's practicality impossible for any of the Nine-Tails' chakra to escape_ , Kakashi decided. Normally, the Nine-Tails' chakra would cause advanced regeneration in its host – but that was gone (or drastically reduced now) and Naruto never even realised. _No wonder that cut didn't heal quickly_.

Kakashi had been suspecting it for a while; it was only now that he had confirmation. In a normal host, extreme emotion could cause the host to access the Tailed Beast's chakra. In Naruto's case, if there were five clones, it would take five times the level of extreme emotion before he could touch the Nine-Tails' chakra.

Kakashi sighed. _The Nine-Tails was still secure_ , he thought finally. Perhaps too secure, but the only way to stop that would be to unfasten the seal directly, and Naruto wasn't ready for that. _Right now, I just have to make sure Naruto gets to where he needs to be_.

Vaguely, Kakashi wondered how Danzo would handle the situation. Danzo would probably lock Naruto away in the deepest bunker he had and farm his ability until he learned everything he could, and then set about making the army that the maniac had always dreamed about.

There were even times when that approach didn't seem so unreasonable to Kakashi. But no, Kakashi owed Minato better than that. Kakashi had to ensure that Naruto ended up as more than just a ninja's tool.

Hiruzen was no fool. There were always people that would try and use Naruto, but so long as no one knew about his power, he was safe. That meant that they had a head-start. It was possible to hide in plain sight. So long as Hiruzen didn't give Naruto any special attention, then it'd be some time before anybody realised the full consequences of his ability. Hopefully, that'd be time enough for Naruto to learn how to use his power properly.

 _Any emotional little boy can be manipulated_ , Kakashi mused; _but a determined ninja? Not so much_. Naruto needed independence and patience until he reached that later stage.

And he needed his team. That part was absolutely certain. A ninja's team was a reason to care.

Kakashi furled up the scrolls carefully, checking the time. He needed to check in on his team, but discreetly. He had made a mistake with the bandits, and Kakashi had no intention of making the same one again.

"…The tests never end," Kakashi muttered quietly, heading out into the village. For a ninja, everything was always a test. Every mission you went on was a test to see whether you came back, or if you wanted to come back. It was a choice everyone had to make themselves.

Kakashi sighed, glancing around the village sharply. The village was filled with people milling around the square. Kakashi glimpsed fishermen in thick waterproof hoods heading to the docks and merchants strolling towards the stores. Hannobe was made out wooden thatched houses and seawater-drenched wood, surrounded by the occasional patches of farmland. A less-experienced ninja would say it looked like a good place to relax.

Kakashi was about a dozen steps in the direction of his team, when he stopped. Years of experience started to tingle in the back of his mind. Something was off.

He had to pause, and glance back to the village. His eye picked out the fisherman wearing hoods quickly. He could count thirty-eight people heading towards the docks, all of them strolling casually.

And yet he could hear thirty-seven sets of footsteps. Somebody was walking without making a sound. Somehow, that missing sound was louder than anything else.

"Hmm…" Kakashi muttered quietly, before disappearing silently into the shadows.

* * *

Naruto was staring. Haku glanced at him, watching the gears turn in his head. The minutes ticked by silently. Haku shifted slightly, slowly becoming more and more uncomfortable.

"Yes?" She – _he_ – asked eventually.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Are you _really_ a boy?" He demanded finally.

Haku's eyebrows rose. Naruto went through the typical reactions to Haku's gender; confusion, then shock, followed by guilt and coming back around to confusion again. Now, though, Naruto had seemingly settled on a new one; suspicion.

"What sort of question is that to ask someone?" Haku asked finally, with a small smile. "I just said I'm a boy."

It definitely posed a challenging dilemma to Naruto. "You might be lying," he said finally.

"And why would I lie about something like that?" Haku said, plainly.

"I don't know," Naruto admitted with a shrug. "But you sure look like a girl. You're wearing a pink kimono, but it's baggy enough to hide your figure. You dress like a girl, you look like a girl, and you wear your hair and nails like a girl. I think you even wear makeup." Naruto tried to peer in for a closer look, but Haku swatted him away with a roll of his/her eyes. "Maybe you're a girl who pretends to be a boy?"

Naruto's voice was endearingly clueless. A faint smile played across Haku's lips. "Or maybe I'm a boy who likes to dress like a girl?" He replied coolly.

"Maybe," Naruto conceded. He had the look of someone trying to navigate totally foreign waters. "But you're cuter than Sakura. It's weird to think you of as a boy."

Haku shrugged. "What does it matter?" He said simply. "I say I'm a boy, so I'm a boy."

"Well, it's just… um… well…" Naruto stammered uselessly.

There was a pause. Haku frowned. "Wait…" He muttered slowly. "Were you actually _flirting_ with me before?"

"No!" Naruto protested. Still, his cheeks blushed slightly.

Haku giggled, leaning back slowly. She looked like she was actually enjoying herself. He _looked like he was enjoying herself_ , Naruto corrected mentally. _Dammit, himself._ Himself _._

 _Maybe I'm having trouble reassigning pronouns_ , Naruto conceded, sinking his head into his hands.

Haku for her part – _his_! His, dammit! – was having fun playing with Naruto a little bit. "So what was the plan?" He said teasingly. "Did you think that if I was a girl then I could be your _girlfriend_?"

"No! I just…!" Naruto stopped. He paused, thought about it and then sighed. "I'm being an ass, aren't I? Alright, if you say you're a boy, you're a boy. I'm sorry."

Haku nodded, a faint smile playing at his mouth. Naruto glanced at him sheepishly. "Although, honestly, I'd much prefer just a friend over a girlfriend any day," he admitted quietly.

Haku's smile widened. "Alright," he nodded, extending his hand. "Friends it is."

Naruto shook his hand with a bright grin. "Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"Hi, Naruto, I'm Haku," he said quietly, tilting his head. "It's good to be your friend."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, definitely."

There was a moment of silence. Naruto bit his lip. "But seriously," Naruto said finally. "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Haku thought about it. "Yes."

There was a pause, and they looked at each other seriously. Then, they were both bursting with laughter that rang out over the field.

* * *

_At the same time…_

Trying to use the fireball technique to scare the moose off had been a resounding failure. The fire just seemed to excite it even more. Not even the buckets of water could get rid of it.

Every time the genin got to close, the moose would turn around and chase them away, but then go right back to the statue.

Despite everything, Naruto was starting to feel a glimmer of respect for the moose. _I mean_ , Naruto thought slowly; _sure, the animal was a massive pervert and degenerate, but it was a damn_ dedicated _pervert and degenerate_.

The genin were all panting, exhausted from running away from the angry moose for the hundredth time. The moose, on the other hand, was still going strong.

If Naruto had had chance to step back and think about it, then he'd realise that Team 7 was actually getting along fairly well. They were too distracted to do otherwise. Sasuke wasn't so aloof and Hinata was too exhausted to be sure.

"Alright, I don't think scaring him away like that is going to work," Hinata gasped, still panting for breath.

Sasuke sighed, rubbing his forehead. A prodigy ninja should not be having this much trouble convincing a horny moose to leave a statue alone, he thought with exhaustion. "Alright, there's only one thing left," Sasuke decided firmly.

The Uchiha turned around to face Naruto. "Naruto," Sasuke declared imperiously. "You're going to have to Henge into a female moose and lead him away."

Naruto's jaw dropped. " _Like hell I'm doing that!_ "

* * *

Haku absentmindedly picked at the grass as he sat, twirling the blades around his finger. Neither of them said much, but it was a pleasant sort of quiet. Haku was good company; he was quiet, but understanding and Naruto realised how much he really needed that.

The evening stretched out in peaceful relaxation. Neither of them had anywhere to go. They made idle conversation, but it was enough.

"So…" Naruto asked finally, his voice turning a bit more sombre. "Who is your master and what are you doing here, really?"

Haku glanced at him. "I thought you weren't going to ask."

"I almost wasn't," Naruto admitted. "But we're friends, right? I want to know about you."

Haku paused, wondering quietly if he should say. Naruto was a ninja and he was an outlaw. Still, Haku had probably said too much already, but Naruto didn't strike him as the dangerous type. Complete disclosure never seemed so bad anymore. Besides, if he didn't say, Naruto would just become more suspicious and try to find out by himself, which could be a lot more damaging than just telling the truth.

"Promise you won't tell anyone." Haku said simply, staring fixedly up at the sky. He didn't like to think about what he might have to do if Naruto didn't promise. "Promise you won't interfere with us."

Naruto hesitated. "I promise," he replied quietly.

Haku's eyes were distant. "My master is Zabuza Momochi, also called the Demon of Hidden Mist. He's a missing-nin." Haku's voice was very matter-of-fact. "And we work as mercenaries for the highest bidder."

Naruto's eyes widened. He had to stop himself from reacting straight away, and forced himself to keep calm. "Right," he said stupidly. "And right now?"

"We're in Hannobe to find a boat to flee the country," Haku explained, still staring into the sky.

"Are you going to hurt anyone here?" There was a slight waver in Naruto's voice.

"That's not our intention. We just want to leave peacefully."

Naruto hesitated, biting his lip. "And how many people have you killed?"

Haku paused, turning to stare at him seriously. "Are you _sure_ you want to know?"

Naruto met his gaze. "Probably not," Naruto conceded.

There was a long, long awkward silence. Naruto wondered what to do next. He cleared his throat. "So you're assassins for hire, then?"

"Yes," Haku replied. "And what is your village, again?"

Naruto faltered. "It's not the same…"

"We're hired by different people," Haku retorted. "But the job is exactly the same."

Naruto bit his lip. "What you do is wrong."

Haku's eyebrows rose doubtfully. "Does that mean that what you do is right?" Haku asked sceptically. Naruto didn't reply. "You didn't seem that convinced about that last night."

Naruto's hands clenched, struggling to think of a reply. The seconds ticked by slowly. "Do you want me to leave?" Haku asked finally, his voice completely dispassionate.

"I…" Naruto paused. "I'm not sure what to do."

"Then how about you do nothing?" Haku suggested carefully. "We can stay here talking, you can handle your mission, and then pretty soon Zabuza and I will be long gone and nobody ever needs to know."

Naruto nodded slowly. "And if we meet again?"

"Then, depending on the mission, we might have to try and kill each other," Haku conceded. "Or we might not. In any case, there's no point in worrying about that now."

Naruto's body felt tense. His eyes flickered. Haku appeared completely relaxed, but something about his movements said otherwise. He reminded Naruto of the way Kakashi would 'relax', but still be constantly ready to react.

A list of questions and doubts hit Naruto. Eventually, he chose the one that he wanted to know the most. "Why do you do what you do?"

Haku almost replied 'Why do you?', but decided against it. "Because of Zabuza," Haku replied calmly. "I don't have a purpose. Or my purpose is just to follow him."

"Why?"

Haku smiled gently, looking at Naruto. "Because he's precious to me. It's only natural to protect someone precious, isn't it?"

Naruto didn't answer straight away. Something about that statement made Naruto twinge. "So why does Zabuza do this, then?" He asked finally.

"That's… complicated," Haku hesitated before explaining. "The Hidden Mist was a brutal place. It is called the Bloody Mist. There are constant civil wars, murders, and bloodline purging." Haku almost spat that last word. "And it makes brutal ninjas. Zabuza was the most brutal of them all, but he never enjoyed it."

Haku paused, thinking about that last statement. "Well, maybe he enjoyed it a little. I'm not sure, sometimes," Haku admitted. "In any case, Zabuza tried to lead a coup d'état against the Mizukage and stop the killing. The Fourth Mizukage was the real monster, and Zabuza tried to kill him. It failed, and then Zabuza and all his followers were chased out of the country."

"Oh," Naruto took the information in slowly. "So… you are trying to overthrow the country?"

"At one time," Haku replied quietly. "Lately, it's became more about survival than anything. We lost the last of our followers, the Demon Brothers, on our previous job. Now it's just Zabuza and I. We're still trying to gather enough funds to start another coup against the Mizukage, but that's getting more and more unlikely with every day."

Haku looked at him seriously. "Zabuza kills to survive, Naruto," Haku said firmly. "And I kill because I'm his weapon."

"Do you enjoy it?" Naruto asked uncertainly. "Why are you so happy being someone else's… tool?"

Haku smiled softly. "Everybody has to be something," Haku replied. "I'm happy enough just being useful to Zabuza."

"This Zabuza doesn't sound like a very nice man," Naruto commented.

"He's… complicated, sometimes," Haku explained. "And then other times he's very simple. He gets angry, moody and occasionally cruel, but he's also always protected me. He was there for me when no one else was, and that's important too."

"So… where are you going next?" Naruto asked carefully.

"I don't know. Somewhere far away from here. The Land of Wind, maybe, they'll never find us there. Or, perhaps, we'll go hide in the Land of Rivers. Or maybe it's time to head back towards the Land of Waves." None of those options were ones they'd actually discussed. Haku shrugged. "The world's a big place."

Naruto nodded. "I… I guess I won't see you again, then?"

There was a definite question in his voice. Haku paused. When he spoke again, his voice was very measured. "You could come with us, you know," Haku said quietly. "You could leave Konoha. Zabuza's not very patient, but he's a good teacher. He taught me everything I know. I'm sure I could convince him to take on another apprentice."

There was a silence. Naruto's eyes widened slowly. Haku smiled softly. "It's a big world out there," he said softly. "If you want, you could see it with us?"

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Zabuza frowned darkly as he shifted his hood, keeping his shoulders slumped and his sword carefully hidden under his long robes. Kubikiribocho was a nightmare to keep hidden, but Zabuza refused to leave it behind. Still, hidden in his long robes he was just another fisherman around Hannobe, quietly scouting out which ship to take.

Zabuza was just about to return back to camp, before he stopped in at the village's small, rundown phone office. He threw a coin a clerk casually, taking care to hide his face, before typing a the key into the long range radio. Seconds later, he was diverted to the Gato Company hotline. It was a short conversation, no names or numbers attached, just confirming that payment had been delivered to the account Zabuza specified.

It was only as he was about to hangup, when the clerk mentioned a message that had been left for him; 'sharkface'. It was an old code-word from Zabuza's Anbu days at Kirigakure, and meaningless to anyone else. The code-word had been out of date for years.

Zabuza's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and hesitated for a couple of seconds, before finally typing in the key for their old, black ops communications channel. The radio buzzed, but it was answered on the second ring.

"Zabuza!" A booming voice laughed, slightly fuzzy from the bad connection. "You got my message."

Zabuza's grip on the phone tightened. " _Kisame_ ," he growled the name like a curse. "What the hell do you want, you bastard?"

Kisame Hoshigaki, the Monster of Hidden Mist, laughed loudly. "Ah, don't be like that, punk. And here's me trying to be helpful."

"You don't _do_ 'helpful'," Zabuza snarled. "You're only capable of two different variations of sadistic bastard."

Zabuza could imagine Kisame's smirk even through the phone. "Well, maybe I'm just in a jovial mood today, then? Maybe I'm feeling nostalgic for all of my old Swordsmen of Mist buddies, or maybe today is just the one day every year that I do a bit of charity?" Kisame's voice was merciless. "Or maybe I'm just helping you out so I have a favour to collect later – either way, this is me trying to save your weak, sorry little hide."

"What are you talking about?" Zabuza demanded coldly.

"They're on to you, Zabuza," Kisame chuckled. "Apparently Konoha started gunning for you, but Kiri, well, they couldn't let another village clean up their mess now, could they? Kirigakure has sent a whole heavy task force of hunter-nin after you."

"Let them come," Zabuza growled. "I've dodged hunter-nin before."

"Yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of places to hide in the Land of Coasts, right?" Kisame taunted.

Zabuza felt his blood run cold. Kisame just laughed. "Oh yes, that's right, I know where you are. And so does Kiri. Apparently that last geezer you worked for tipped them off to try and get out of paying you. You can consider those links well and truly severed."

 _Gato_ , Zabuza thought furiously, feeling his hands shake. _I killed that bridge builder and the Konoha jounin for him, and that slimy businessman stabs me in that back!_

"Oh and here's the best part," Kisame continued. The Monster of Hidden Mist could never resist a good taunt. "You remember your old pal Ao? Well, guess whose leading the hunter-nin against you?"

Ao. Zabuza barely managed to escape the Land of Waves with Ao after him the first time. Ao was as ruthless and as persistent as they came, and with Ao's stolen Byakugan, there wasn't even anywhere Zabuza could hide. Zabuza was damn good at disappearing, but Ao was just as good at finding him again.

Zabuza's heart was pounding. Kisame wouldn't be laughing like this if it wasn't serious. "How long do I have?" Zabuza demanded.

"Keep watching the horizon, mate," Kisame chuckled. The line disconnected with a dull beep. Zabuza's hands clenched so hard he nearly broke the phone.

Zabuza's heart was beating fast. If a hunter-nin squad was coming this far, they were coming for blood. _I need to get out of this bloody place as soon as possible_.

 _Grab Haku, and run_ , Zabuza decided. _Thanks to that bastard Kisame, I've got a head start. Hopefully that'd be enough._

He stormed out of the building glancing around the town for any sign of Kiri ninjas. _No time to waste_ , Zabuza growled, clutching his sword tightly under his robes.

Zabuza barely made it a single step before something sharp pricked against his neck. The cold metal of the kunai stung against skin, and then suddenly there was somebody starting behind him.

"Zabuza Momochi." A voice drawled slowly. Kakashi was instantly standing behind him, holding a kunai to Zabuza's throat.

Zabuza stiffened. Kakashi's voice sounded lazy, but his eye was anything but. "By the authority of Konohagakure and the Fire Daimyo, you are coming with me."

There was a pause. Zabuza's hands were white as they gripped the handle of his sword tightly.

"You sure about that one?" Zabuza growled.

"I didn't specify dead or alive," Kakashi replied coldly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes:
> 
> And next chapter is the finale to the first mission arc. The first C rank mission is always the one that solidifies Naruto's way of a ninja, and that's kind of what I wanted to show with this one.
> 
> You know, looking back, I realise how much I really, really like Zabuza and Haku. I think they were both great characters; they had an interesting backstory, detailed personalities, and very nice plot actions. They still rank up there with my favourite characters from the story. Don't get me wrong, I think their death scenes were absolutely great, but it sucks a bit they disappeared from the story so soon. Still, the Wave Arc was still a great arc.
> 
> And then Kishimoto kind of ruined it by bringing Zabuza and Haku back as zombies. Of all the things I like about the way Naruto came to an end, the giant immortal zombie army was definitely not one of them.
> 
> Next time: 'My Way'...


End file.
